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My predictions over the next 100 years

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posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 10:32 PM
So I have always had a gift to see into the future with perfect clarity. (sorry, no lotto numbers, I have seen what the money would do to you lot..your welcome for keeping you humble).

So, without further adu, here is my list of prophecys over the next 100 years:

1) Earth will be found not flat, nor a sphere, but actually a octagon in 2019. Trump will say something stupid and cause fish to protest.

2) Pronouns will now reach 13 legal definitions, the most popular after him and her will be flem and fleur in 22. Clouds start forming made purely out of radioactive cotton candy

3) in about 2026, the first ever robotic whale will be created. It will later turn on its creators when it realizes it isn't a space whale. Gangster rap decline hits epidemic levels forcing a global funding initiative to save the dying species.

4) 2030 ushers in a popular laser diet. Pope RuPaul is diagnosed with knuckle mites

5) 2037 will be our first floating city. A small town in arkansas..this will be a disaster as the plumbing will be disasterous and a "browning" effect effects multiple cities where it flys...sadly the town will float up uncontrolled and not be seen from again within 6 months. The pepsi pipeline is complete, much to the dismay of Argentinians.

6) 2048 Zombie Hitler found dead, the nazi zombie army will also die with the head gone. There is a earthquake at a local arbys and everyone is greatful

7) 2051 The first strong AI asks: "does this unit have a soul", which inevitably will lead to its own cooking show. Alaska creates the worlds largest boy band that only sings dubstep.

8) 2066 Mortality becomes optional, and eventually starts trending. Cyborg Trump runs for solar president. Egypt unearths a genuine number 2 pencil still in tact.

9) 2092 Our first contact with a race of orblike gas beings that were mistaken for weather balloons for centuries occurs. A man in Southern France forgot about Dre

10) 2117 ATS finally fixes its stars and flags issue. Popcorn becomes sentient.

Well thats the rough outline. If by 2117 these things have not all come to pass, I will delete my account. I am that certain of it.

posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 10:36 PM
Oh, one final prediction:
2017: this thread will be moved into the humor section..because illuminati.

posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 10:45 PM
Bravo!! You are brave to come forward and show us your "gift".

And it's ok if you give ME the winning lottery ticket numbers. MY visions tell me that I would do nothing but good with the winnings!

posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 10:47 PM
a reply to: SaturnFX

2022 - Fusion power becomes commercialized

2030 - 3D printers put Walmart out of business

2037 - Alien artifacts found on Mars

2042 - Age genes become programmable, people now can live forever

2050 - People will be able to program their own looks, strangely, everyone keeps their own natural looks as default

2052 - FTL drive along with the co-discovery of anti-gravity

2075 - New subatomic fusion power capable powering the entire earth with only a sugar cube

2090 - Billions of people live on the moon, mars, and asteroid belt colonies

2110 - All human beings leave earth for space. The Earth becomes a wild life preserve.

posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 10:56 PM

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: SaturnFX
2037 - Alien artifacts found on Mars

posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 11:37 PM

In the year twenty-five-twenty-five
If ATS members are still alive,
If fake news outlets can survive,
They may find...

In the year thirty-five-thirty-five
Ain't need no SJW or Alt-Right jive,
Every pronoun you do or say
Is in the sex robot you bought from eBay

In the year forty-five-forty-five
Won't need your mesentary to stay alive
You won't find extra organs to clone
Everyone will spy on you via drone

etc. etc.

edit on 23-4-2017 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 12:13 AM
a reply to: SaturnFX

You forgot the one where they weaponize cute fluffy bunnies and the inevitable world devastation.

It was bunnycide!

Oh, the humanity...

edit on 24/4/2017 by chr0naut because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 12:33 AM
a reply to: SaturnFX

2018: Everyone watching: "Naked and Afraid", is naked. And afraid...

2025: 17-tear-old kid in Vera-Cruz, has a little Smokey-Bay, for the first time in his life, and wonders if anyone has ever been so stoned before, in the history of all of Humankind.

2031: Lady looks at her aquarium and thinks: "I feel so happy, that all of these plants, and the fish, all look so healthy!"

2047: Guy tries-on new pair of stretch underwear, and thinks: "Hmmm: not bad."

2054: Stone that had been sitting idle in field, for 43 years, is unceremoniously flipped-over by aardvark.
Stone-rights enthusiasts are up-in-arms, as aardvark defenders capitulate.

2068: The nations of California, Texas, and Microsoftia, are officially recognized by the UN.
Iceland and Scotland have become provinces of Canada, and Australia is now a province of Zealandia.

2073: Every living person, now on obligatory alcohol consumption plans.

2085: Fart jokes are still funny.

2090: The price of a Big-Mac, hits $100. Contains no meat, and totally manufactured, shipped, assembled, and served by robots. Tips now mandatory on the MickeyDee's bill. "We do more, with less!"

2104: New-new-new-new-improved-revised-turbo-ultra-awesome-Tide, removes a stain that was redoubtable.

2117: Human President threatens AI President, with unpluging.

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 12:43 AM

originally posted by: Nothin

2073: Every living person, now on obligatory alcohol consumption plans.

What's taking them so long?

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 12:55 AM

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha

originally posted by: Nothin

2073: Every living person, now on obligatory alcohol consumption plans.

What's taking them so long?

Well my friend: nothing wrong with being in early compliance!!

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 05:54 AM
a reply to: SaturnFX

I thought after they activated the space ship in orbit around Pluto the aliens robot army would have destroyed humanity. A nice biblical ending to it all.

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 05:56 AM
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

I like this version better:

Enslaved by Giraffe men!

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 06:28 AM
I predict that 'they' really will clone dinosaurs.

They'll start off fluffy with mammoths because awww... mammoths
and then get a teensy too ambitious.

Oh, handy hint for those doing the lottery. Don't let the machine in the newsagents pick random numbers for you. That's what the lottery winning number ball machine thingy does. What are the odds of two machines selecting exactly the same numbers in one week? I'm guessing astronomical.

posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 12:00 PM
The effects of limits to growth takes place.

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