Hello ATS. My name is Cinema Magic. I am the ever elusive, the always important, but insanely stupid and absurd entity that exists because.. well
because I just have to. I've been invading your consciousness and awareness, defying all logic and common sense, but you accept me every single time.
I know what you're thinking..
How many times have you seen the protagonist end up in a situation, all alone, pitted against an entire army of mercenaries or against a large group
of the most dangerous and highest ranking assassin's, only to defeat them all and make it out alive in one piece?
Common sense would say "No chance in hell" right? Luckily for the protagonist, I have infiltrated the scene, turning common sense into a myth and
employing my own set of rules.
Patiently waiting: In real life, one would think that a simple blind sided attack or a couple of enemies simultaneously attacking the
protagonist could end the scene before it even starts, but of course they have no choice but to nervously gather around the fight and wait for their
buddy to get knocked out before they can jump in. Only to get knocked out themselves. Rinse, repeat.
One hit kill: for supposedly tough guys and dangerous assassin's, their threshold for pain (and will to live) is practically non-existent. How
many times have you seen a punch to the face that kills the target? A slice across the chest that makes the enemy perform a perfect triple axel before
the lifeless body hits the floor? How about the body slam of death, or even worse, throwing a body into a crowd like bowling pins killing them all? Or
how about a simple karate chop to the shoulder that vanquishes the enemy out of the frame and existence for eternity?
I know I know, where's the proof? Fine. Here's me in total action, and because of me, this scene went from potentially the most absurd scene ever,
to one of the most amazing and iconic scenes ever.
Right? Well the absurdity is far from over because I'm no one trick pony. Replace the sword with a gun and we got some more Cinema Magic.
Unlimited ammo: Everyone knows what magazines are, but of course when I'm involved, magazines don't exist and you are able to scratch your
itchy trigger finger by holding it down for as long as you'd like with no repercussions. Go Rambo.
Spray and pray: I guess you can blame the unlimited ammo for this one, but bullets seem to be flying everywhere in every direction, blowing up
everything from the walls to windows but missing the target completely, even in very close range. Where did they hire these guys? They have terrible
aim. When was the last time the main protagonist died early mid-way through a movie?
Aimbot: Conversely, the protagonist seems to have impeccable aim, even amidst a fiery of bullets and chaos. You can see them running out in the
open dodging every single bullet while hitting their target on the first attempt. Really good shot or Cinema Magic? Let's take it up a level of and
introduce the "Falcon Punch" bullet. You know, the bullet that makes you fly about 20 feet.
Pics or it didn't happen? OK. I know this clip isn't really fair because Neo is "The One" and all, but see me in action anyways.
Because one wasn't enough
These are just a small sample of my greatness, but now that you are aware of my legendary tricks, see if you can spot me next time
Bahaha! I'm always pointing out the absurdities of films to my Husband.
Don't forget the scenes where someone is lost in the woods and hears something then yells out, "Who's there?" Like the psycho seriel killer or alien
or monster is going to say, "Oh don't worry it's just me!"
The gun happy people are stupid and wasting bullets all the time, which is exactly when they come face to face with whoever or whatever they were
shooting at. Then of course all you here is the click, click of an empty gun when he needs the bullets the most.
And yes, those karate type films...I know there are some highly trained people in those arts but they are after all, only human.
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