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Cinema Magic

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posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 06:26 PM
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Hello ATS. My name is Cinema Magic. I am the ever elusive, the always important, but insanely stupid and absurd entity that exists because.. well because I just have to. I've been invading your consciousness and awareness, defying all logic and common sense, but you accept me every single time. every.single.time.

I know what you're thinking..




How many times have you seen the protagonist end up in a situation, all alone, pitted against an entire army of mercenaries or against a large group of the most dangerous and highest ranking assassin's, only to defeat them all and make it out alive in one piece?

Common sense would say "No chance in hell" right? Luckily for the protagonist, I have infiltrated the scene, turning common sense into a myth and employing my own set of rules.

Patiently waiting: In real life, one would think that a simple blind sided attack or a couple of enemies simultaneously attacking the protagonist could end the scene before it even starts, but of course they have no choice but to nervously gather around the fight and wait for their buddy to get knocked out before they can jump in. Only to get knocked out themselves. Rinse, repeat.

One hit kill: for supposedly tough guys and dangerous assassin's, their threshold for pain (and will to live) is practically non-existent. How many times have you seen a punch to the face that kills the target? A slice across the chest that makes the enemy perform a perfect triple axel before the lifeless body hits the floor? How about the body slam of death, or even worse, throwing a body into a crowd like bowling pins killing them all? Or how about a simple karate chop to the shoulder that vanquishes the enemy out of the frame and existence for eternity?

I know I know, where's the proof? Fine. Here's me in total action, and because of me, this scene went from potentially the most absurd scene ever, to one of the most amazing and iconic scenes ever.


•••••


Right? Well the absurdity is far from over because I'm no one trick pony. Replace the sword with a gun and we got some more Cinema Magic.

Unlimited ammo: Everyone knows what magazines are, but of course when I'm involved, magazines don't exist and you are able to scratch your itchy trigger finger by holding it down for as long as you'd like with no repercussions. Go Rambo.

Spray and pray: I guess you can blame the unlimited ammo for this one, but bullets seem to be flying everywhere in every direction, blowing up everything from the walls to windows but missing the target completely, even in very close range. Where did they hire these guys? They have terrible aim. When was the last time the main protagonist died early mid-way through a movie?

Aimbot: Conversely, the protagonist seems to have impeccable aim, even amidst a fiery of bullets and chaos. You can see them running out in the open dodging every single bullet while hitting their target on the first attempt. Really good shot or Cinema Magic? Let's take it up a level of and introduce the "Falcon Punch" bullet. You know, the bullet that makes you fly about 20 feet.

Pics or it didn't happen? OK. I know this clip isn't really fair because Neo is "The One" and all, but see me in action anyways.
Because one wasn't enough


These are just a small sample of my greatness, but now that you are aware of my legendary tricks, see if you can spot me next time


Where else have you spotted me?




posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 06:56 PM
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a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Cinema Magic, by giving us hour upon hour of motion picture entertainment with good people who are always on target and bad guys that are half blind I thank you. This is truly an act of love.



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 08:40 PM
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a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

That's why the cowboys always won over the Indians, those never outta bullets, so-called, six-shooters. Indian bows could not compete.

One of my recent favorites is the black Land Rover chase seen in London Must Fall. It looked like a cheese grater from the bullet holes, but still on the road.

Oh, forgot. Delightful thread, BTW.


edit on 23-4-2017 by Aliensun because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 09:17 PM
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Gas tanks always explode from a single gunshot.

The image quality of VCR tape is such that you can enhance it enough to count eyelashes.

You can hail a taxi in a matter of seconds.

In old western towns, people are killed at an average rate of 2.5 persons per week, but people still want to live there.

Most prostitutes look like supermodels and are basically nice people.



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 09:27 PM
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a reply to: VictorVonDoom

Lol, so true!

How about always managing to outrun a 20 foot super agile and strong monster in a foot race?



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 09:36 PM
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originally posted by: knowledgehunter0986
a reply to: VictorVonDoom

Lol, so true!

How about always managing to outrun a 20 foot super agile and strong monster in a foot race?



While tripping over something every 20 yards.



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 10:38 PM
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a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Awesome post!

If you had put this in list form and crow barred in a random pot shot against trump,Cracked would have paid you for this.

My favorite recent trope is the lost/out of service/drained battery cell phone scene injected into every movie because the writers are still stuck in the rotary phone era..

Thumbs up!


S and F for the fun thread.

Respectfully,
~meathead



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 11:08 PM
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Bahaha! I'm always pointing out the absurdities of films to my Husband.

Don't forget the scenes where someone is lost in the woods and hears something then yells out, "Who's there?" Like the psycho seriel killer or alien or monster is going to say, "Oh don't worry it's just me!"

The gun happy people are stupid and wasting bullets all the time, which is exactly when they come face to face with whoever or whatever they were shooting at. Then of course all you here is the click, click of an empty gun when he needs the bullets the most.

And yes, those karate type films...I know there are some highly trained people in those arts but they are after all, only human.



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 11:19 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

Hello Night


Lol, the one in the woods, happens too often. I think horror movies get away with the most absurd tropes. I might have to compile a list just for horror flicks.


Anyways, good night, Night!



posted on Apr, 23 2017 @ 11:45 PM
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a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Good night Sweetie! Enjoying your thread. It's funny, because I was just talking about this subject again last night with Mark. LOL



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 09:48 AM
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a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

100 guys will fight you one on one until you've beaten them all.

You can punch a man in the face after being shot in the arm a few hours before.

Jumping out of speeding cars is totally safe.

Handy flashbacks in the middle of a fight will always help you come back from the brink of death.

Police don't use helicopters to chase cars.



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