The Shed 15

a reply to: LucidWarrior

You are not able to get back on track without a mentor.

I am sure the shed can provide - however I could not go past a GP's recomendation ..

You are valued ... you are a member of the shed !

a reply to: Night Star
Cry Hugs
"You seem like a wonderful soul to me. What is it that you are trying to live up to?"

Exactly that- "a kind, gentle soul, who is filled with talent and brings joy to others" I know it's not something I can ever become because I already am but I feel like it's just not something I ever do except when I write!
I'm also trying to live up to those pictures.

Today though was different I made several huge steps in myself, in reaching a place of inner excellence from which to proceed, of magic... And yet... I came to house and I just watched it slip away and was powerless to stop it or just didn't try and I'm not sure which is which or worse... It was like finally coming home from a long journey away for no reason and back and having to leave right away on another one without even going inside. A warriors struggle, but for my souls freedom to fly..

Man river of tears is like the going away song and the eternal forest is the coming back song.

The Muse is my very soul, the ink my lifeblood... But I wish to stand, to fly from the page where I feel at home and really me out into the rest of the world where it's like I cannot even stand. And when I finally made progress and just watched it slip away as the depression rolled in... And then once that hits it's like I can't do anything against it except despair as I try and reach for my own light!

It's ever as simple as action yet I can only ever seem to find my way back to the door and stare through it, trying to will my body through, trying to jump through mental hoops in darkness... I had thought that bad enough but imagine the despair of finally making it through and then getting pulled right back in!

"Hang in there Lucid"
I'm gripping into the doorframe with all I've got! Got my sights set on it, even if I don't always follow the course. The thought that I could lose my bearings while I'm on my journey and never be able to come back to my soul? That's why I write in the first place. Also why I post my self as much as I am able to and why I came to you guys here. And why I am taking seriously your consideration to seek professional help.

"I don't know if you are still here Hun, but find your inner strength and try to climb above this." Always trying to! Always feel like I'm failing

a reply to: Timely

You have inspired me to go ahead and post the (mostly) unedited bit of what I have for my book. I'll link it back when I'm done, it says all I could say right now other than thanks, and that I really do feel like I need someone or lots of someones in order to keep me on track...

It's still unfinished because I haven't been around to overcome what it talks about at the end not can I seem to supply myself that answer. So I was gonna post a snippet but got caught up editing which is still on paper

originally posted by: LucidWarrior
Oh, aye. Sucks I'm afraid of spiders tho!

Hmmm I guess the symbolism ran off you "like water off a goose."
The spider in Osage legend is the symbol of patience, persistency and watchfulness. All they seek comes to them.
In others they weave the fabric of life and are symbols of creativity.

Have a grand day.

www.abovetopsecret.com... fires link


a reply to: WalkInSilence
:O I had the gist of what you meant but was being sarcastic. I'm gonna have to dig more into Osage legend because yeah it did run off me

Good morning all, and happy early mothers day to all our Shed mothers!

a reply to: Macenroe82

Wee are all shed mother's, we are all writers, mother's of stories and characters no one else could have made!

a reply to: LucidWarrior

The Shed: A place where men can give birth.
lol jk

a reply to: LucidWarrior

I can relate to alot of what you say. Your current state of mind is highly similar to mine as I was treading darker days, in the past.

You and I only have a few years of difference in age. Therefore I believe my opinions to at least be current. So here is my advice to you, if I may, as a friend.

Bravery does not mean acting despite fear. Fear is not something you should antagonise. Fear is the guide that tells you what's dangerous, in other words, what's against your best interest.

I believe that bravery is something that can be measured; indeed, I believe bravery to be a measurement of the number of lives you save. And this includes your own, just as much as it includes other's. It took me a great deal of bravery to accept life, and not end it all, during my darkest days. Bravery is the battle itself against Death; life is more precious than you'll ever imagine - every atoms of you body were forged in the heart of a star long ago - and bravery is the force that allows it to defeat Time and its absolute destructive power.

You claim you cannot live up to yourself. I feel the same way. I too cannot live up to yourself. I know how fleeting, yet precious friendship is. All my achievements, all my awesomeness, are mere attempts for me to be good enough for you, you who is kind enough to give me - a reject of this world - your friendship. I simply don't deserve it, yet there you are, treating me with kindness, whereas all my life I was thrown in the darkness.

You cannot live up to yourself because you are already up above yourself, like a shining star; you simply haven't realise that yet.

a reply to: Night Star
Sure, if you don't mind cleaning toilets after.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Hi Mike! I keeping on missing you. How are you doing? Good to see you around!

a reply to: swanne

That which swells
Or expands
The heart of one
To itself or another
Is magic indeed

Thank you ever so much for your friendship, swanne.

If we each of us are undeserving if the love we receive then let us all give to each other and thus shake off such burdens.

Not to disregard anything you said- i especially like your definition of bravery and reminder of friendship-but when you said

Time and its absolute destructive power

I was urged to point out that another essence of alchemy, besides the one of hearts, is that of time: time is the enemy yes but it does serve it's/our purpose in that, time is what gives us meaning insomuch as it takes away... It drives inexorably on and we run against it, through it being created in each instant as a response to it's destruction but only thanks to it's motion... And our efforts which we pour into time are what allow us to grow and to reap, to progress through struggle into proficient ease.

I see joy, now, in beauty AND in sorrow and for that too my heart goes out to you.

a reply to: swanne
Howdy. It's cool here. How are you?

a reply to: swanne

I was reading my fires update and I read how I had written this and it reminded me of what you said about bravery

a blade is what a man lives by when he has his own life in his hands, and when he stands in the place of others. He is a warrior: a man Of action and he lives and dies by his blade, with honour and satisfaction, fighting to preserve or gain something for his people.

My hands run at the speed of my heart while the rest of me is at the speed of my mind

Hi Sheddites! I'm still catching up this morning, and with the preparations to make Mrs. Shepherd's Mother's Day an at least tolerable experience for her I will not be on much today. Groceries, lawn care, presents and cards and flowers and all sorts of ridiculousness. ANYWAY, I wanted to respond to this:

originally posted by: WalkInSilence
Yes, as Night said.

originally posted by: Night Star
Hugs with tears! In here it is good to know we can cry together.

Every tear is a blessing, they are rain drops from heaven.

I heard it said once: "Tears are a language God understands." Somehow, I've always found that comforting.

a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Oh, thank you, I missed that post. I like that a lot, I love the Rain so much it is one if my handles.. I always felt like the other way around, that the rain was the angels tears nourishing and absolving that which they landed upon... I haven't thought about that or enjoyed the rain in that way in a great while now that I'm thinking about it

Hello friends. I've been off and on watching movies. I'll share one that ATSers can relate to later on. One of my sisters is coming over today so I don't know what time I'll be back.

Take care everyone.

Hello Sheddies,

I'm just back from attending the filming of some Robot Wars episodes for the BBC!
The boys LOVED IT!! (I think the adults did too!!)

Great atmosphere and the clashes & impacts between the bots are MUCH harder and louder than you could ever imagine from watching on TV.

Anyway, a great wee day out, the boys are tired & happy, and the tickets were FREE!!!

Job Done!


G

originally posted by: LucidWarrior


My hands run at the speed of my heart while the rest of me is at the speed of my mind

Omg you should totally use that as a signature! It rocks!

a reply to: Skid Mark

I am still adequately alive.