originally posted by: knowledgehunter0986
a reply to: Profusion
It's definitely relevant if I can potentially end your relationship.
In my view, anything can potentially end a relationship. Does that mean that everything is relevant? It's not up to me to decide what's relevant. The
two parties in a relationship decide that together.
"The problem is you lack the empathy or awareness (most likely both) to discern the difference between what's right for you, what's right for her and
what's right for the both of you."
I think you're completely wrong there. It's not up to me decide that. It's up to both of us to decide it together.
I tried to force that kind of thinking onto my past romantic relationships by telling my significant others that I wouldn't have a child right in the
beginning. What if I was taking the wrong approach in doing that? If I wouldn't have forced my conception of morality onto those relationships, they
all would have gone more smoothly. In at least one case, it would have lasted longer.
The last woman I went on a date with was completely turned off when I told her that I would never have a child. I could see her writing me off as a
possible suitor in her mind immediately after I said it (the second time). She couldn't recall me saying it the first time I told her. She said she
was distracted the first time, but I think she didn't want to hear it. She apparently was trying to give me every opportunity. Was there any reason
for me to tell her that so soon? I don't think so anymore.
I believe that those kinds of things should be discovered together between two people in romance. There is no reason for one of the people involved to
force their sense of morality on the other. In fact, I believe that's very wrong.
I think the two people should discover everything together. If having a child is an important issue for my romantic interest, I'll tell them the truth
if I'm asked about it.
I'm not going to cause them to have to deal with me taking too much control of the relationship by giving them too much information too soon. I think
Too much information kills communication. It's not the responsibility of either person to determine where the lines should be drawn concerning what
too much information is. In my view, both sides decide that together.
originally posted by: MagnaCarta2015
Dating is dating, I wouldn't go into it under the assumption the new girl wants a second date anyway, you're just having a night out to get to know
someone a bit.
Resist the urge to bang the ex or you'll just end up with headache and drama.
There is no way I have that assumption. I'm going to put my heart and soul into making it a success and getting a second date.
edit on 2-4-2017
by Profusion because: (no reason given)