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Falling: An Epic Fantasy

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posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 03:10 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

You asked me a while back what I thought of Siere's character and I didn't answer you then.
I actually relate to her...that is why.

Just speaking for women for now, I know a few who (like me) try to spend their time caring for others because we've all known the feeling of being alone and we try to alleviate that for somebody else. (usually coupled with health problems, pain, or grief and extremely stressful situations).

Sometimes you can fill an entire day of being strong for somebody else, only to come home and fall onto the sofa like you've just been hit by a truck. You do what you've gotta do, and then process it all later.

For someone who keeps claiming that he doesn't know how women think, you're certainly writing/talking like you do know.




posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 03:28 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl
While Siere is not a direct analog of anyone, I'd be lying if I tried to claim there's nothing of certain women who have been important in my life. What you describe:

Sometimes you can fill an entire day of being strong for somebody else, only to come home and fall onto the sofa like you've just been hit by a truck. You do what you've gotta do, and then process it all later.

This happens to Mrs. Shepherd. She homeschools our children, which is - as you say - filling an entire day of being strong for the sake of our children. Sometimes I come home and she's simply done. Shot. Nothing left in the tank. So your comment makes a lot of sense to me.



posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 03:41 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

I find it wonderful that you are aware of Mrs. Shep falling into this category...and why.

I ran a home daycare when mine were all small and there were days that I almost fell asleep while making dinner.
I literally felt like I was "spent"...all used up...done.

Giving your energy to other people all day is tiring and demanding but unfortunately many husbands think being home with kids is a walk in the park.
A long time ago, my ex-husband had to fill in for me while I was sick in bed all day with a migraine (back then I only got about 1 a year so it was rare for me to be out of commission). Later that night he apologized to me, saying that he thought "a monkey could do what I do all day". He was stressed and exhausted (drained was the word he used).

You seem to be aware of how others are feeling which is a very good thing, especially with your wife and kids.
(And it does show in your writing)
I e-mail with a couple of members from here and I've told them about your story. You might see some new faces popping up in the next little while.



posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 03:47 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl
I learned the hard way, believe me. I did not have the attitude your ex-husband did, but I also didn't understand quite HOW demanding children could be - and that's despite the fact that I have a teaching degree and had to stand up in front of kids all day during student teaching. It's just different when they're your own kids - no break without feeling like you're neglecting them. You are everything for them - if you don't feed them, they don't eat. If you don't get them to bed, they don't sleep. If you don't get them where they need to go, they don't go.

The burden of guardians of children of any kind is tremendous, beautiful, merciless, and wonderful all wrapped up together. You simply don't get it unless you live it for a time.

edit on 4-18-2017 by PrairieShepherd because: In front, not frond...



posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 03:56 PM
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originally posted by: PrairieShepherd
a reply to: jacygirl


You simply don't get it unless you live it for a time.


That statement right there...that works for just about every situation in life, don't you think?
Walking in another person's shoes?

I guess that's why I tend to say "If you can't relate, why debate?".



posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 04:20 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl
Yes, I would agree with that completely.

I was going to go on a rant about social media and how it's all about "look at me!" as opposed to actual debate, and thus exacerbates the exact issue your saying covers.

But then I decided against it.



posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 04:44 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Hey, I love a good rant.


I feel exactly the same about social media and the disgusting state of our current society.

I lived through the 70's and 80's, heck even in the 90's we still had hope.
Hope seems to be missing now. A decent life is not as easily attainable (and there's so much more I could say too).

You're very bright, Shep. I hope you know that.
jacy



posted on Apr, 18 2017 @ 11:57 PM
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Pardon me for interrupting a great and private conversation in here. I feel like the nosey neighbor listening with her ear against the door. LOL!

Shep, that last entry was very intense and wonderfully written! Ok, carry on. Starts singing "carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done." Ok, I'm really leaving now. Yep, heading toward the door. Closes it quietly.



posted on Apr, 19 2017 @ 11:28 AM
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a reply to: Night Star
Nonsense, Night Star. All are welcome to participate here, like the Shed. I'm just sorry I wasn't around when you posted this - Mrs. Shepherd & I had an extremely long weekend, followed by a 16 hour day on Monday, so when it came time for this Shepherd to head home I did so with alacrity. Then I crashed at home.

I'm glad you enjoyed the last episode. I wrote that right after episode 23, titled, "Alone." They sort of poured out of me together, and have not been revised drastically from their original rough drafts, honestly.



posted on Apr, 19 2017 @ 06:50 PM
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62 - Moon-addled Mad

“Seeress, may I ask you something?”

They were walking back to the Temple, in no particular hurry. It was Uensierzek, the sixth day of the week. Traditionally, it was a day of quiet contemplation – it had been on the sixth day of the week, supposedly, that humanity had once been whittled down by the world’s wildlife to just eight people. The seventh day – formally Uensiergen, but most called it by its familiar name, Hallows – was the day that Aomm had revealed the Gift to those eight people and saved humankind from extinction, and was viewed as a day of joy and even celebration.

They were passing near the Central Market, and it was subdued. There was talking and conversation – business still took place – but hawking wares was prohibited on Uensierzek, even in the Central Market, so no one needed to shout.

“Of course, Lord Captain,” she murmured.

“How did you get all those cuts and scratches? You didn’t have them yesterday. Did one of the soldiers you work with hurt you?”

She looked away from him. “I’m afraid that is my business, Lord Braeghe,” she said with a note of finality that shut down the conversation.

They reached the Temple and Gaalen escorted her to her quarters, where Sir Teftan was waiting. Teftan was a good soldier, they had arrived at least fifteen minutes before Gaalen had told the burly Lanceguard to be there.

“Until tomorrow, Seeress,” Gaalen said, turning to go. He did not see the Seeress’ expressionless gaze follow him through the crowded hallway for several moments.

As he passed a trio of Bearers in the busy hallway, something caught his ear.

“…that Seeress Meron?”

“Yes, she teaches the fundamentals of healing. Dear Aomm, she’s horrible!

“What do you mean, doesn’t she know anything?”

“Oh no, she knows it alright! And lets you know exactly how much you don’t know. She treats us like healing should be easy or something. And that’s not all,” the Bearer continued, lowering her voice. “She is crazy, I swear it. She stares at you like she’s never seen you before sometimes. I’ve been attending that class for weeks and she still will look at me like it’s my first day. If there’s a loud noise, she nearly jumps through the roof. One time, she actually started crying in class for no reason, and another, she started talking in some nonsense language and acted like we were idiots for not responding to her.”

Gaalen had stopped and busied himself relacing his boots. A different Bearer spoke up.

“She seems very smart, though.”

“She’s intelligent, there’s no denying that, but just because you’re intelligent doesn’t mean you’re not completely moon-addled mad. I’m not joking, sometimes she’s downright strange.”

Another spoke up, her voice almost a whisper and infused with awe. “I heard she can hear the voice of Aomm.”

“Oh I’m sure she hears voices, alright!” The three Bearers burst into giggles. Gaalen stood up and approached them.

The one who had done most of the talking, a haughty, almond-eyed girl of maybe fourteen, looked at him with contempt. To her left a pretty dark-skinned girl stood primly – Gaalen guessed she was the one who asked about the voice of Aomm. The third, with light red-gold hair, light eyes and freckles, seemed almost as haughty as the leader.

“This is a private conversation,” the almond-eyed girl said arrogantly. The girl to her right giggled, but the dark-skinned girl looked ashamed. “Men!” the leader said in disgust to her companions.

Gaalen ignored her. “In the Bastion,” he grated, “the three of you would be mucking out the stables for weeks if you were caught speaking of a Lady Captain that way. Perhaps the Temple has different standards for respect of your superiors, but mark my words, you know nothing about Seeress Meron. So I suggest you three children mind your ignorant tongues, or should we all perhaps bring your observations before Elder Poliara?”

Their eyes grew wide at the mention of the stern Elder Seeress. “No, my Lord,” the three girls squeaked almost in unison, quickly curtsying.

“Then get on with you,” he growled. The two on his left dashed off, but the dark-skinned girl hesitated a moment.

“What is it?”

“They say she can really, truly heal people. Like no one else. That she can nearly bring people back from the dead.” The girl’s eyes were wide, and her voice was low.

“No one can bring back the dead, believe me. What’s your name, Bearer?”

“Daemi, my Lord.”

“You seem a bit more reasonable than your friends, Daemi. Take some advice: give Seeress Meron some respect, and learn whatever you can from her – anything at all she is willing to teach you. And stop listening to children who make judgments of someone without having even the slightest idea about that person’s life.”



posted on Apr, 19 2017 @ 07:53 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd
Shep I'm so excited to see the story (ies now) evolving! Oh, I don't think I mentioned; YES! leave Rage. I think that scene is needed to truly understand where she is and what pains she bears for her gift.



posted on Apr, 19 2017 @ 09:29 PM
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Gah! When I read a story with too many names and people to keep track of, I get all confused. LOL Still...great writing! And yeah, don't change the rage thing. It was intense and worked well.



posted on Apr, 20 2017 @ 04:38 AM
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"And stop listening to children who make judgments of someone without having even the slightest idea about that person’s life.”

The synchronicity of the above line, after our recent conversations about judging others...kind of mind-blowing, Shep.


This is so good. I love everything about the story and the characters. As Marty said, it is evolving. You are showing us such depth in the characters who are beginning to see with a different perception (especially regarding Gaalen's opinion of Siere).

Like I said I would, I'm reading this early with my coffee. I'm always a bit disappointed when I come to the end of a segment because I'd love to keep reading more. This would make a fabulous movie or mini-series.
jacy



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 10:45 AM
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a reply to: jacygirl
It's been a few days, but yes, Jacy, the synchronicity is kind of entertaining and as I formatted/posted that last episode it occurred to me that we were just talking about that exact thing.


For real - I did not plan it that way.



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 03:34 PM
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63 - A Telgar Leaf

They worked on the a'karana up in the Gull’s Roost. The slight breeze coming off the bay held a chill and a salty tang to it this morning. Siere was getting more proficient at the motion of the a'karana, and at times, she felt they were in nearly perfect unison, spinning and dancing on the flagstones of the Water Wall’s allure as the sun’s early rays bathed everything in a yellow-orange glow. The Water Bailey below them lay still enshrouded in shadow, but the rising sun was pushing the darkness back.

She had begun to understand why Lord Braeghe chose to perform this routine each morning. She found her mind clearer during and afterward, without distractions or memories invading unwanted. He did not speak much during the a'karana anymore, not like before when he consistently barked out commands to her about every tiny thing she was doing wrong. They had settled into a routine fueled by her growing proficiency with the exercises and her comfort with his instruction. He had softened in teaching her of late, no longer so hard and rigid, but more of a guide and coach. He spent more time explaining the reasoning behind what he taught her, rather than simply expecting her to do as he said. In response, she found herself drawn in to the training with him.

Lord Braeghe was an enigma to her in many ways. The man seemed dead and emotionless at times, cold and uncaring. And yet, during the times they worked together in the morning, he seemed more alive. His eyes would sparkle in the early morning sunlight, a glint of joy long suppressed and buried. The only other times she had seen him light up like that had been when he was in the company of the Prince and Lord Robaer, or with his mistress. His eyes softened the most for her, and his face took on a boyish, almost shy affection for the fiery Lady Commander. His demeanor around her was so genuine Siere had begun to question her initial distaste for their relationship. Still, it clearly violated the unspoken rules of the Bastion – from what she had gathered of them – and flew directly in the face of the principles for proper intimacy between a woman and a man as laid out in the Book of Voices. And, from what she could tell of Lady Commander Milaener, Lord Braeghe was not much more than a plaything to her, a possession. Something she was clearly protective of, yes, but Siere sincerely doubted the Lady Commander valued him much as a person.

After training, he offered to escort her back to the Temple. She was glad for the company. Much weighed on her these days, and truth to tell, being alone made it even harder. Lord Braeghe at least knew some of her burden, even if he did not know the full truth of it. She found a strange comfort in his presence.

“Lord Braeghe, I need certain supplies. Would you be willing to accompany me to the apothecary before we return to the Temple? If not I can certainly do it later with whoever you have assigned for today.”

“No need, I will take you there. Where is it you wish to go, Seeress?”

“It’s a small shop outside the Market. Off of Archangel Street.”

“I think I know it. Does she have a sign with a telgar leaf on it?”

“Yes, that’s her. Mistress Thannen is her name. She has a most impressive inventory. There is nothing like it in Lithewaite,” she said honestly.

They made their way around the northwest corner of the Central Market area. Lord Braeghe was somewhat reserved this morning, and so the walk was a quiet. He kept them on primary streets, avoiding narrow alleys and side streets. Market Circuit was a wide road that wrapped around the Central Market, lined with redleaf, oak, and waxbark trees. It was a well-maintained road, not suffering from the sanitation problems that other less-important streets did. They were able to walk freely on the hard-packed sandy soil despite the growing morning foot traffic.

In short order they had made it to Archangel Street, with ran off to as a spur from the Central Market and ending in the Gerat Kuhjinoe, the Plaza of the Archangel outside the main doors of the Temple of Aomm. In the center of Gerat Kuhjinoe stood a huge statue of Kei’arai, the Archangel of Aomm, as he was described in the Book of Voices. Scripture said he was tall, with gray skin and eyes that lit up like the sun. He was said to have wings of light, and carry a great sword that signified his position in heaven, the House of Aomm the One, the Merciful Father. He was the commander of the celestial armies of Aomm, the one who, according to the Book of Voices, when given authority by Aomm, would put demons and other minions of Ngak the Deceiver in chains and lead them to their eternal prisons.

Mistress Thannen’s apothecary was just down Archangel Street from the where the Circuit intersected with it. They caught sight of her telgar-leaf sign hanging on a sturdy arm quite some distance away. As they stepped up the walkway which connected her shop with a few others in the same long, low building, Siere started to feel uneasy. There were no other customers, and the area of the street was quiet.

They entered and found no lamps lit, no candles burning. The shop was quiet. In the semi-dark Siere noted the familiar shelves of Mistress Thannen’s inventory – bins of common dried herbs, smaller canisters for the more uncommon ones. Some were open, some sealed. One wall’s shelves held dozens – maybe even hundreds – of tinctures and potions in small clear, blue, and green glass vials. Over by the southern windows were live herbs and other plants in small and medium pots.

“Mistress Thannen? It’s Seeress Meron. Are you here?”

Silence. Lord Braeghe looked at her with a strange mix of puzzlement and wariness on his face. She caught his hand stealing toward his dagger.

“I don’t like it, Seeress. It’s early, but she should be here. It’s not Hallows, or--” He spun suddenly, weapon out. He held up a hand to her, motioning for her to keep quiet.

He stole behind the small counter silently, then disappeared into the back room where Siere assumed Mistress Thannen kept her extra stores.

“Seeress!” Lord Braeghe’s voice was urgent.



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 03:56 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Dammit!
You always pick just the right place to stop and leave us all hanging!


I love how Siere and Gaalen both pre-judged each other, and now that they're getting to know that there's more to each than they first thought. Very well done. People are what/who they are for reasons, and they are beginning to realize that there's much they don't know about each other.

Ugh, sorry...my words are clunky and awkward today but this last segment was just as wonderful as the others.
I'm still captivated. (ooh, that's a good word!!)
jacy



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 04:01 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl
I admit, I choose the episodic stopping points quite deliberately. In fact, I deliberate over the delineation.

I agree on their judgments about each other. What's interesting (and a little scary) is that those judgments have flowed from who the characters are. They've come to life enough for me that it seemed perfectly logical for each to judge the other's character.

Did you notice Siere throwing out a judgment of Kaena as well?

I'm just naughty with my story lately!


And yes, 'captivated' is excellent.


ETA: OMYGAWRSH - 1000 posts!! Do I get a cookie?
edit on 4-24-2017 by PrairieShepherd because: C is for cookie, T is for thousand...



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 04:12 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Hahaha...no cookies for you! (just kidding, but if you post anything now you'll ruin the number! maybe just sit and bask in the glory until someone makes a thread for you!!! *sarcasm off now*)
Nice post-star ratio by the way.


I did notice that Siere was judging Kaena and grimaced thinking, "No it's much deeper than that!" (their relationship I mean). Then I wondered if Siere was getting jealous because she's developing feelings for Gaalen.
I know, I know....read and find out!

I don't have a lot of time for reading fiction lately, so a little bit at a time is actually good and I always finish a segment wishing it was longer. "Leave 'em wanting more!" is working. I'm always left trying to figure out what I think is coming next. (and so far, I'm not correct, hehe...)
jacy



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 04:19 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl
Heh - my "1000" posts lasted all of about 3 minutes. What can I say? My keyboard needs a word-throttle apparently.

I might not get a cookie but apparently Mrs. Shepherd & I and the Shepherditos get to go out for dinner tonight. Probably someplace fast, but still, beats leftovers at home.

Yes, you'll have to take a RAFO for that. I had fun writing this current scene at the apothecary - there's something unexpected coming up. I should have set it up better, much farther back, but it is what it is - this current scene is actually the newest scene. I only finished the rough draft last week, so I'm sure it's full of repeated words and stumbling syntax. Oh well.

I hope I can keep you guessing for a while at least.



posted on Apr, 24 2017 @ 04:30 PM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Oh quit being so humble, there were no mistakes or stumbling syntaxes!!
It was brilliant as usual, and I've come to expect nothing less.
You do manage to keep me guessing as I have yet to be correct in assuming I know what's coming next.

How nice that you and the fam are dining out tonight. I don't eat fast food as a regular diet but every now and then get a craving for A&W or something random. I remember A&W when I was a kid and it was a treat, so the first bite always makes me sentimental, hehe...

Your keyboard needs a word-throttle and I have ellipsis attacks...(see?)
Oh the woes of being a writer, tee-hee!




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