a reply to: FlukeSkywalker
Follow the logic: you are MADE by this 'duality'. Feeling something is MOVING WITH the dynamic.
The dynamic has a direction and flow, just like an ocean stream. The stream changes as a function of the hydrosphere (world ocean dynamics),
atmosphere (air dynamics) and geosphere (subterranean dynamics).
See how the ocean jet-stream can only be understood and appreciated in a sytematic sense? The behavior expressed in the mid atlantic, for instance, is
related to behavior in the pacific. They are ontologically "locked" into one another, because they are subject to the same constraints - gravity
(Earth), radiation from the sun as well as the core of the earth.
You, your emotions, etc - i.e., you personal conviction that "its all a lie", is a FUNCTION - an EMERGENT PROPERTY - of the feelings, emotions,
contexts, situations, responses, and reactions, that derive from your development as a person.
You are completely being determined, yet deny that you are being determined. You do something, lets call it A, and then deny that A changes how you
feel - thus affecting how you reference the world following A's effects.
For instance, we can think of this in terms of murder. Before killing someone, you probably have the normal Human emotions about killing. We can call
this A. A needs to be suppressed by B - which desperately wants the recognition and the affective energy that comes from "being one of the group".
Here, B - or the 'self-state' eager to kill someone, derives from actual real-life interactions you actually once had. Since insecurity/Fear will
naturally present itself in contexts populated by people who kill - the insecurity state will induce an "accommodation" self-organizing pattern: you
will now become 'open to imprinting" by your context. The killers will persuade a self-state into formation which is symmetrical - correlated - to
theirs, so that there very same motivation/perception dynamic which generates their self-state,
will also come to operate in you.
To return again to my example: B - or the self state deriving from a correlating social-paradigm (which makes the feeling of pride possible) is
motivated to suppress A - the normal affective inclination i.e. instinct - which sees murder as dangerous - and for good reason (arrogant Humans treat
their body as if it were some tabula rasa - a blank state) - in being suppressed, leads to the SUCCESS of B in suppressing A.
OK, action completed. That's it, right? No, my friend. You are now self-organizing to a new reality, to which every new-killer will have to adapt
Facts aren't neutral: when we violate a core principle of our brains own dynamics, the brain has to now "cut-off" aperception of the
self-state - or instinct towards being good and kind - because this state is now in a major existential conflict with it's own inner truth: that they
Thus, killing, or the success of B in suppressing A, generates a new self state - C: the state you seem to be existing in and referencing reality
You say "in order to feel something", which is a classic derealization-depersonalization symptom, known to any therapist or traumatologist as a
veritable consequence of 'affect-overload". Affects - or emotions - cost energy. The brain-stem has a safeguard for these trauma-experiences, which
functions to cut-off conscious perception of dynamics that are dysregulating the body-minds homeostasis.
The illusion, then, is not in me, obviously.
The illusion is and has always been about what Human beings are - and how this sense of being "cut-off" from you body, generates an epistemological
and ontological falsehood: that reality is really "two", with Ahura Mazda (or some other super-ordinate principle which exists 'above' good/evil) at
the top. No. A true trinity is not 1+1 = 0, A true reconciliation of opposites does not ignore opposites or pretend that you are above opposites -
while having every one of your states-motivations generated within the coordinated dynamics of your brain-mind.
Clearly - this is a cruel trick which you could, and likely will, blame on the "creator".
My sense is that WE - all of us, every one of us, you, me, and the others who have lived and will live again, are deeply responsible for the way the
world is today. Recovering or getting over this is about compassion - understanding - patience, although anger, hatred, and violence, will seem like
the only solutions to people incredibly out-of-touch with their body/emotions, and so unable to think clearly and soundly.