~the spirit in me is screaming, demanding i give it a voice. I have no choice but to follow- the question is how well will i do my job, and how long
will it take me to get around myself, release my hand and let the words flow from my soul? just release- thoughts fears expectations. Release! This
Anguish, this same dish,
Time and again I find it on my plate
It arises when I ignore my fate.
Fear ties me down, blinds me in ignorance,
I cant just just keep praying for deliverance.
I have to rise.
I have to make my stand.
I have to have faith in the master plan.
The ultimate prize
Awaits those who overcome stagnation,
Shed the negative sensations:
Of what you ought
Of always needing more.
Them to the wind
It will carry them far, and if you just keep pushing though the doubt
You will find yourself amidst
A field of beauty, a wondrous vision~
"Enough, Daelim! Come outside, for we are going to go change the world."
What? I don't recognize the voice, how can they know my name? Curiosity outweighs fear and I go outside. Immediately, my world is transformed, though
it's not readily apparent what has changed. I feel, lighter? But with a certain weight. The prickling of destiny, lingering at the extremities of my
"There's the man of the hour! Come, Daelim, the time for words on the page is over! Art is meant to be left behind, to be abandoned for those to come.
The Word has come- no longer must we wait and leave signs, for We are the ones we have waited for. And you, my friend, you have been called to
The man before me was big and broad, with a bushy beard, thick eyebrows and a huge smile. Perhaps absurdly, he had a broadsword hefted on his
shoulder. I still had my pen in hand, and its weight shifted. I looked down at it, it was now a slightly curved sword. I looked back at the man.
"There is danger where we are going, the path is fraught with peril. The Journey, The Way has come. It is not an easy path, we will face our fears,
doubts, and demons literally manifest. But the good news, Daelim, the good news is that they no longer plague you inside as they have before, if you
don't let them. Listen- can you hear it? The sweet voices of the wind, whispering of truth and beauty?"
I cast my eyes inward. As soon as I do, I hear a voice, pure and true. She is talking to me of grandeur, telling me what the man had said, that the
time for making art for those to come was over. She also said to guard my heart, to focus on her voice and the images she conjured, for she would
give me hope and light and if I followed her voice i would stay true and go on to do great things. I didn't have the slightest doubt, for her voice
left me awash in the feelings that my best days had left me: interconnected, United, fulfilled and creative. I asked her if she had a name and she
said her name was Amavril. If I could be amazed any further I would have been disturbed by the fact that a reddish pink sylphlike creature emerged
from my chest. At first, she looked like an orb with ears, but then I looked closer and saw that there was a pyxie like being inside of it. She waved
at me and then turned to my compatriot.
"Haymirk, Daelim is mute, but he wishes to make it known that he is quite pleased to make your acquaintance, as he is sure that the two of you will
make for grand companions," she says with a curtsy.
Haymirk looks shocked, and a bright blue orb emerges from his chest. The two fairies started chattering really fast and I could only gather snippets
of their conversation. They were talking of something called the Grand Adventure and how they were so excited that it was finally here. The blue
fairy, called Liliana, expressed admiration for Amavril, saying that she wouldn't have chosen a different charge even if she could have, but that
Amavril was lucky to have me as her charge.
"I didn't even know they could do that," haymirk says with a wry grin, "Your muse will give you the rundown soon enough, im sure. but If you're
anything like me, you are already feeling the seeds of doubt. 'Surely there must be some mistake. I'm nobody. I've done nothing. They have the wrong
guy.' Amavril will tell you better than I can, but things are different now. These faeries, they are raw inspiration. They have chosen us because we
are artist, dreamers, philosophers. We dream of a purer world- we dream of Their world, Daelim. We yearn for its purity, for its unity, and we can see
it. previously, it was our job to record what feeble visions we could peer through and share them with the world, who cannot see.
Always, always the goal was to get people to see it so we could bring it here. There is enough of us Daelim! Now, for as long as we choose to follow
them, they will remove the obstacles and iniquity that have plagued us for so long. Me and you are to journey now, others will join us along the way.
Then at some point, where even the Fairies don't know yet, we will build. We will build a city, and those who feel the Call will come. We will shine
brighter, and brighter, until the whole world can see."
I needed time to absorb this- I was awash in contrasting feelings, each clamoring for attention. My head was swirling. I waved my hand for haymirk to
follow and I headed inside. I had a pot of tea already brewing and I motioned forwards it, I wasnt hungry but I brought out bread meat and cheese. I
was a bit zoned out and haymirk looked understanding. Even Amavril remained silent, having finished her conversation with liliana she had perched upon
"Take your time" she said softly, then louder: "Daelim wishes for you to make yourself at home. He is a bit overcome and needs to gather himself.";
I walk back outside. As I sit down to stretch out on the ground, Amavril flutters up and then lands on my chest as I lay down. she give me a hug, and
says. so soft I couldn't have heard her if I didn't feel her words in my chest "You are capable, Daelim. When you need me, call and I will come."
then, she faded from view, and the peace she had brought with her was gone, too. she understood I needed to deal with my ahit the hard way, raw an
unfiltered. the first thing to rise, was ugliness: waves of fear, and doubt. This couldn't be happening, it was impossible, and even if it was
possible, it couldn't be happening to me, and even if it was, there was no way id be able to do what these people expected of me. Plus, this was
scary! and I hadn't even taken a step yet. This way was change- yes, there was a dim glimmer of hope at the end of the road- and, actually taking a
closer look, lining the whole road. BUT! what if I wasn't ready?
could I really hold up to the weight of hopes and expectations? How could I know if I didn't try? well if you don't try you cant fail. yes but if I
don't try I cant succeed- its okay to be afraid, its okay to worry. I thank you, but I am not going to listen to you. hope began to blaze in my chest-
MY hope, created by me- I WAS ready. I was going to do this. By my side, my pensword hummed quietly. the hope, that had guttered so long inside of my
chest was now ablaze. As if in response, Amavril winks back into existence, and with her the peace and unity that her presence bought.
"Oh, I'm so proud of you Daelim! we are going to do amazing things together"