I can not sense what is wrong, maybe you can dear ATS

originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
a reply to: rickymouse

To belkid: I would look at Rickys notes, think about looking at Low Testosterone levels symptoms

www.medicinenet.com...

I really think you may have some depression (PTSD after your kidnapping) as well as you seem to have lost interest in so many activities
Also your insomnia may be from your aquarium as you posted in another thread of yours (the light frequency)

Good luck...you have such a wealth of experience we are glad you come on ATS

You wrote this:

Me: Having a go-kart race in my own property with my friends or people drinking and partying with loud music and naked girls swimming in pool. Seeing everyone having a great time. And possibly some sexual time after that. Her reaction was interesting.
She said -Really? This is what you came down to in the end after all of those? Like, this is it? And she laughed in a humorous way.

Was she being judgmental? It sounds like you were not satisfied with her response.
Until you get the insomnia sorted you might like to give up alcohol for a while. I think regular a sleeping pattern/regime is very important.

If you want to boost testosterone, one way is to consume more bromelain. It is a proteinase. It is found in pineapples, grapefruit, onions, bananas,and a few other foods. It is also used as a clarifier in beer. Why do you think construction workers stop for a few beers after work? It is also used to tenderize steak but it is destroyed by heat while cooking the steak so unless the interior of the steak stays below one sixty, the bromelain is destroyed. It starts to fall apart at one twenty and pasturization knocks it out in canned juice. According to Dole, the frozen pineapple juice and the fresh pineapple juice still contain bromelain.

Look at a banana, think of what it looks like. It contains the chemistry that makes testosterone. But the pineapple, grapefruit, and onion do not look like that. So you can't go by shape most times.

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

Oh no she was actually happy to hear that because %99 of people are eager to have more and more material wise and I am just happy with what I have. She laughed because of the sexy time stuff =)

I am very careful about the aquarium lights and I even block them to reach to the bed as I know a certain type of blue color stops melatonin plus wakes you up acting like a sunrise.

I haven't been drinking too much lately and my sleeps are not the best but good. I tend to wake up a couple times maybe more but thats because of heavy smoking I guess.

Thanks for the compliment btw =) I have been on ATS since 2008. Reading and consuming whatever I can =)

a reply to: rickymouse

I will try that.

I just realized that there are 3 apartments being built across the street and from 7am to 9pm it is so loud over here. Since the summer. Its driving me nuts as well but not a big issue =)

a reply to: Raxoxane

I was born when parents were covering the windows with newspapers as they had no curtains to put up. Sold diskettes in primary school to make some pocket money. When I was a teenager I also did construction including painting walls and stuff. I was a gardener for some months and did heavy physical work. Like you told, I also seen and still; always seeing poor people around and everytime I do, I appreciate what I have and thank for it. It was not an easy life. And as a family, we try to help them and nobody knows this. We try to make little treats when we have the ability to do so as we know how it feels like. Not to mention I had to shower with cold water in minus 5 for 2 years because paying the gas was my least worries.

I make my own fun, thats how I have been since birth but right now I am at a point like if I imagine a project; even if its something easy like sharpening a pencil I just imagine it in my head and I say done. Its weird and interesting but nowadays its like that. I have leds on my work bench waiting to be soldered but I know how they are going to shine and give me a 30 minute distraction from what I am going thru. As I know that 30 minutes is temporary I just can't sit down and do it. I think I am always looking for "instant rewards" nowadays as I worked for my own projects for years and a little burnt out not seeing a huge reward. I will complete them, It will give me rewards in the end. I am not concentrated on the "reward" thing but a change probably. An outcome which will change the ways forever for good is a reward for me. 30 minute joy is not. Joy is temporary and I am not after that. Maybe I sounded wrong by writting "no joy" to the end of the sentences. I think we can change it into something I just mentioned.

Thanks for your beloved comment.

a reply to: Bhadhidar

Yes I guess so. I did not have any kind of vacation last year. Did not even swim. Maybe thats why but I am so scared of getting addicted to it haha =)

a reply to: belkide

Help people.

You are satisfied, but have no purpose.

Being useful to others usually helps.

You are freaking awesome BTW. Your life is fantastic from my POV.

I have to admit, I am a little jelly.

Lol

a reply to: tadaman

Haha thanks =) My friends and some who witnessed some events tell me to write a book about the experiences. I think it would be fun but I can seem like a liar or definitely an a**hole . I joined a video chat last year for 10 mins which was about "confessing" some stuff and they kicked me out as they thought I was making them up lol. So I guess I will stay away from that project till my 40s

a reply to: rickymouse

Thanks, as usual you give me great food/nutrition ideas

a reply to: belkide

Cool...I never thought about smoking making one wake up...maybe its time I quit

originally posted by: Galadriel
Travel the world if you have the means. Not in fancy hotels and resorts and clubs... instead, put on a backpack and hike, cycle, take trains, couchsurf, hostels, etc. Get lost. See ancient works, beautiful natural wonders, great art and indigenous art and music and dance. See how people live. Try sacred dance. Find a place to take a real, authentic spiritual retreat.

This. Maybe a little bit of adventure will make you feel colorful again.

Is there anyone following the thread? I can write how it is going with the situation since the day I started the thread.

I just saw this thread for the first time.

My intuitive response was- you sound like you are sadly missing human relations.

Our modern culture puts so much emphasis on personal happiness that can be reached through individual pursuits and goals... I learned something else in another culture: relation.

Simple, non-goal oriented sincere relations with people is very important to our health and well being, physically and mentally. We are social animals.

You might need to open your heart and be with friends, with no agenda, no exciting activity, just go with the flow of emotional exchange with others and feel the bonds you have with other humans. I could list some pragmatic things to do to meet people and strike up relations. But somewhere in there is the essential element of "letting go" and not trying to plan out and control what is happening, or going to happen.

I think this is what some people are trying to get to when they go to a party and drink too much, for example. To get their mind to back off and stop controlling every thing, and let your inner social animal emerge.

Just something to consider, or not, as you feel.

a reply to: Bluesma

Yeah this is one of the things. I need more human relations/interaction. I am a very social being when it comes and as an entertainer; its very easy for me to form a deep connection when there is a chance. I never hold back and it makes me happy. But since some years it has become very hard as the social media has changed people's mind a lot. What are those things that can strike you mentioned?

Thanks =)

a reply to: Raven_Heart

Very true. Very true.