Joy in Spite of Pain - YJA 2017 [non-writer]

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Born and raised. I go back often. I don't jive as easily with people up here in New York.

I'll be moving home someday.

a reply to: TarzanBeta

Great writing s and f!

a reply to: luckskywatcher

Thanks luckskywatcher!

So I think enough people have read this that I can finally tell what I was thinking.

It's a goodbye letter to my narcissistic mother who has used and abused every man in her life.

It's a very long story. But it's about finally disconnecting from someone I always thought it was wrong to disconnect from. "Honor the woman who gave birth to you."

I owe to her for my ability to see through people because of her manipulation. I owe to her my ability to be good at so many things, because I was forced to do everything for her - and yet was questioned on why I could get no farther in society's eye. I owe to her my ability to choose a good woman for a wife... I just had to wait for a woman nothing like her.

And I hurt that beautiful woman by constantly serving the one who always demanded more and more and more from me, always taking, until I finally had a mental and physical breakdown that even I couldn't handle.

Everyone turned against me, until a doctor told my wife, "His mother has done a number on him."

My brothers were smart enough to create a lot of distance. They are doing very well, but even their families see the evidence of this destruction.

I have religion, so I held on longer to the commandment to honor.

Or that was the manipulation used against me, rather.

It's goodbye to the one who gave me flesh, but destroyed my soul.

My wife picks up the pieces, slowly putting them back together with the glue of her love.

There is far too much story to tell. But there is the gist of it.

a reply to: TarzanBeta

Hi.
I came to *bump* your thread, but just read your last post.

In so many ways, I can relate.
I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I'm such a people-pleaser, and it finally all makes sense to me now.

Thank goodness you have a loving supportive wife to help you through this.

When I stumbled across the term "parentification" and read numerous articles about what/why/how it occurs, I began to understand myself even better.

(I'm still not giving back that Canadian quarter though!)
jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Thanks jacygirl.

a reply to: TarzanBeta

*bumping* your thread because the lip balm industry is over-rated.
lol

originally posted by: jacygirl
a reply to: TarzanBeta

*bumping* your thread because the lip balm industry is over-rated.
lol

Haha! Indeed it is. I could go back to photography, but then I would need a lawyer.