a reply to: kosmicjack
That's just it. There's too much noise. I want to fall asleep to a story about Bigfoot. I don't even care if I "believe it." But being in this world
and not of it is a delicate balancing act, isn't it?
I hear of some "maker" that I admire and enjoy, dropping everything to "protest," and I am conflicted five ways from Saturday with a layover. On one
hand, "Good for you, guy! If it moves you that strongly, go speak your truth-to-power." On the other hand, --"gah! How is this helping? WHO is this
Both thoughts wash out within a second or two and are immediately replaced by swearing and selfish thoughts about when I am going to get the next
chapter of his graphic novel. Or the last book in a series I enjoyed. Or a 5E version of Gamma World (to play with my son). A tinier, more powerful
battery for my favorite gizmo. VR that doesn't totally suck. New vinyl.
I get that these thoughts make me a bad human. I get that I am a middle-aged guy, born on Earth day who loves things
a little too much. I mean
I love the stuff that I love, you know? I don't want my coworkers to stop bringing in that jerky. I'll pay if I have to.
The worst part? I really do care. I overthink and analyze and second-guess my own motivations I double-check arguments I have with myself. Someone's
gotta check my
facts. I love my friends, my kids, my girl. I love my coworkers and peers and classmates. I love my country. I love where I
I want to see it continue. I want to see it thrive. I'm an idiot like that.
I'm torn between fiery idealism and cold cynicism, just like everyone else.
I believe we only know the things we know because we read the things we read. I also believe there are at least three ways to skin a cat. The world
could have been anything, and we chose "this." We keep choosing it too. That's another ugly truth.
To be in the world, and in each moment, doing the things I love, making my own small contribution. To ride that wave, and see how far it can take
I don't want to be "of" this world. This is just temp work, right?
I want my makers to be making. It doesn't have to be fancy. I don't even mind if I can't "have it all."
Somewhere out there, my favorite writer-director should be brainstorming a new series based on my favorite space-opera.
My brother John should be fixin' up some fresh jerky. The world should move in a positive direction. It's good for all of us.
That's all I'm saying.