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The Unveiling - YJA2017 - Non Writer

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posted on Feb, 28 2017 @ 09:54 PM
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Deep into her subconscious mind they danced like insane deaf pixies confusing those who could not hear. The life drained out of Nine as she tried to push the dreadful thoughts of nasty demonized men from her mind. One moment at a time, and all would be finished and done with.

As Nine stared blankly into the Winter night past the old shed on river road, she wondered if people still walked through these wooded areas. All that was, is not, and the memories from before, all wiped out. Which she didn't mind because it freed her from the chains of uncertainty and the strangeness that came with it.

The man in black appeared to her, grabbing her arm pulling and tugging her towards the hole in the wall. He smelled like old fish and motor oil as he lugged her behind him. He had the appearance of a big strong hairy guy without a clue. But being a thug she didn't trust his motives, and knowing that, she felt a little bit more enticed to run away.

The underworld was grey and dark. She loved that part but despised the donkey people who lived under ground. They stole people and hid them in freezers. They were very bad people.

I'm so tired she said to them, I refuse to listen, I will rid myself of these parasitic beings who leech off of me like a bad case of something. The river underground was wet and that made her nervous too. But she carried on until she hit the city. And bright it was.

The ruler was goofy but nice, and she knew all would be fine once she returned to the surface again.

She made it back, painstakingly as it was. This was very good.

Once back, she turned MGB on it's head and destroyed it. (macron global binge).

Now she was in charge, and owned the entire establishment due to weak and corrupt management. This was perfect.

The technology she created was so far out there that Kings and Queens came just to see her, and ask about her amazing inventive abilities, which consequently, were many.

377 years later all is still well.

The intelligence bestowed upon her from birth, was nothing less than mind blowing and completely accurate. Reality took a new turn and now everyone is where they should be, under her.

Her grace and perfection saved the underworld from cracking up.This time of Triumph and peace from the Underworld was the most prized possession she had left and everything stemmed on this one thing.

Being on top was all there was, and all she wanted.

The underworld would forever remain a secret between her and the man who knew her almost as well as she knew herself. The One if you'd rather, that is but one way of experiencing the craftiness and enticement of it all. Wise is the one and free is the movement. The world would never be the same again.

edit on 28-2-2017 by luckskywatcher because: no




posted on Feb, 28 2017 @ 11:03 PM
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a reply to: luckskywatcher




posted on Feb, 28 2017 @ 11:13 PM
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a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Thank you



posted on Feb, 28 2017 @ 11:43 PM
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Definitely thought provoking. Loved ingenious way of tying it all together as a short story-feel you could really expand this into a great novel. Congratulations.



posted on Mar, 1 2017 @ 12:00 AM
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a reply to: Justso

Well thank you for that amazing decisive feedback, I'm so glad you liked it!

And such a novel idea! I may run with that



posted on Mar, 1 2017 @ 04:21 AM
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a reply to: luckskywatcher

Hi luckskywatcher!

That was really great.

I like the idea of a "matriarch" figure in charge of the world, lol.
It's interesting how many people are going for the dark and twisty spin. Makes for good stories.

S&F
jacy



posted on Mar, 1 2017 @ 04:52 AM
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a reply to: luckskywatcher

Very dark and that happens to be my favorite style.

Good luck to you!

I imagine you don't need luck though.

Hope to see you around and writing often.



posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 09:32 AM
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a reply to: jacygirl

Thank you for that great reply. If a Matriarch were in charge of the world It would be me. I could clean up the crap faster than you can say crapzilla!

I admit, I love dark writing, It has a kind of intrigue that lures you in and tethers you to its will.


edit on 2-3-2017 by luckskywatcher because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 09:38 AM
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a reply to: TNMockingbird

Ah see, you like the dark stuff too. Theres nothing like a little mystery and suspense which makes it all the more interesting when you add that dark edge of intrigue to it.


Thank you for that and Good Luck to you too



edit on 2-3-2017 by luckskywatcher because: happily writing



posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 03:04 PM
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originally posted by: luckskywatcher
a reply to: jacygirl


I admit, I love dark writing, It has a kind of intrigue that lures you in and tethers you to its will.



Oh geez, I had to reply (lol).
That quote above...? Poetic.
I can't write like that. I'm more Dr. Seuss, hehe (but I admit it).

I don't really ever have the desire to write something dark, really. Perhaps it's just that my life is dark & twisty enough so I write about fluff? Truth is, I talk like I write. I think I was a cartoon character in a previous life.
jacy



posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 08:00 PM
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a reply to: luckskywatcher

I'm like this how you write it's very good! I'm doing studies for language and to write.

Thank you that you share your talent with the world. The blessing will come to you now.



posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 08:48 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

Thank you what a wonderful compliment! I love Dr.Suess, i'm a huge Suess fan! I find darker writing allows me to vent my inner emotions rather than holding them captive to the unseen will that lives within the human psyche. And i just really enjoy it.


I'm trying to figure out what everyone's cartoon characters would be! Oh now you've given me an idea
I may run with it!




posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 10:19 PM
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a reply to: T0rMenT0R

Thank you for your kind words.



posted on Mar, 2 2017 @ 10:19 PM
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a reply to: luckskywatcher

S&F

Nice work!



posted on Mar, 3 2017 @ 10:09 AM
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a reply to: JinMI

Thank you kind soul!

edit on 3-3-2017 by luckskywatcher because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 10:43 AM
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a reply to: luckskywatcher

Great read



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 01:22 PM
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That was fascinating, Luck. Had the feeling there was always more detail behind each paragraph that wasn't written out.

I agree - expand it out to a novel.


See? I said I'd get over to yours eventually!



posted on Mar, 14 2017 @ 08:59 AM
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a reply to: SprocketUK

Thank you Sprocket I'm glad you liked it!


I just s and f'd yours! Very nice!



posted on Mar, 14 2017 @ 09:03 AM
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a reply to: PrairieShepherd

There definitely is more to it, and i probably could have expanded a little more than I did.

Thank you for mentioning this, I have thought about writing one. Thank you for your input too, i always appreciate that!

Yes you did lol!



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