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I'm tired of being crazy

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posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 07:03 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

It takes awhile to build new neuro pathways. Until you do, you will continue having issues. Habits created out of your desire to feel safe can be difficult to break but it's certainly possible. If she looked sad, you should apologize unless you know for an absolute fact that she did it on purpose. Like you, she could have her own past issues of relationship problems or whatever it is that is bothering you. Humans are alike and yet so different.
It's pretty clear that you are suffering from anxiety, too. Maybe she is as well. I think that she made an effort to reach out to you. Aesthetics don't matter. Actions do.
As far as the other stuff goes, you just have to force yourself to 86 the bad habits and step out of your comfort zone. It won't change unless you do.




posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 07:08 AM
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originally posted by: Profusion
You're getting things mixed up. I don't treat my colleagues differently based on how they look in terms of anything that involves work. I was discussing having conversations about our private lives which has no bearing on our work. They are completely different issues.


I'm getting it mixed up because that is how you presented it. You said you had one opinion of her based on professional experience that you then changed once you had talked to her on a personal basis. How are they "completely" different issues? She has a work "persona" and a personal one, perhaps, something you should be able to understand, but what I am saying is, the way she is willing to behave professionally towards people is a reflection of her character, therefore appearance and personality alone is an insubstantial way of making a judgement about someone's character, but then that may not be of importance to you.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 07:23 AM
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originally posted by: Anaana

originally posted by: Profusion
You're getting things mixed up. I don't treat my colleagues differently based on how they look in terms of anything that involves work. I was discussing having conversations about our private lives which has no bearing on our work. They are completely different issues.


I'm getting it mixed up because that is how you presented it. You said you had one opinion of her based on professional experience that you then changed once you had talked to her on a personal basis. How are they "completely" different issues? She has a work "persona" and a personal one, perhaps, something you should be able to understand, but what I am saying is, the way she is willing to behave professionally towards people is a reflection of her character, therefore appearance and personality alone is an insubstantial way of making a judgement about someone's character, but then that may not be of importance to you.



Professionally speaking, I'm treating this woman the same way I treat every colleague I've had who I thought stabbed me in the back.

"She has a work "persona" and a personal one"

That's a huge assumption on your part. Where's your evidence for that statement?

"the way she is willing to behave professionally towards people is a reflection of her character"

The problem is, I don't know if she was being malicious or incompetent toward me. There are other possibilities that I don't want to go into.

"appearance and personality alone is an insubstantial way of making a judgement about someone's character"

I'm aware of that. Appearance has very little or nothing to do with someone's character. Niceness does have something to do with someone's character in my opinion. That's why I wrote that her looks alone wouldn't have changed my actions toward her, but her looks combined with her niceness will probably end up changing my how I treat her.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 07:32 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

People make assumptions. Shocker.

What is "nice"? Nice is a subjective quality. You don't think people can't assume "nice" for the sake of appearances?

I don't know you, I don't know her...you expect accurate insight from the little information you have given...lol to that, try communicating more effectively with those you wish to communicate with.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 08:21 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

I find, because I am fairly introverted, I don't really "fit" in the normal social whirl very well.

I need, like I need air, to have lunch by myself at least once a week to keep sane.


My extroverted colleagues think I'm weird. The ones who realize I always act with integrity are happy to give me that space and do the social thing later... They don't judge or take offense. For that I am grateful.

It took months for this to play out... Now I know who I can trust, and who I need to watch out for.

My point... Let it play out. You get to choose, for yourself, how fast or slow to go. Don't be so hasty to decide.

Hope this helps!



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 08:23 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Paranoid in this day in time is sometimes a good thing
Words given by an old seasoned veteran of this thing called life
Me
42



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 08:40 AM
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If she is young she will have the female Hypergamy trait in abundance. Acting like you did has probably made her more curious about you than she was before. Be politely aloof towards her and she will probably start chasing you. That my friend, is known as "flipping the script" and young hot chicks totally dig it.

Remember were women are concerned disregard what they say, and instead watch closely what they do.
edit on 26-2-2017 by CulturalResilience because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 08:48 AM
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a reply to: Profusion




The problem is, I don't know if she was being malicious or incompetent toward me. There are other possibilities that I don't want to go into.


I think you will find your answer to your question in those statements.

You definitely don't want to deal with a malicious person, but dealing with an incompetent person also has major issues in itself.
edit on 26-2-2017 by 3daysgone because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 09:01 AM
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One of your main problems is that you have to interpret the actions of other people from your perspective. Empathy and trust are key to change your perspective.
Going to do boneheaded things, and act selfishly. Work through it, work around it, don't let it bother you. Because the truth is even you will do boneheaded things, and act selfishly.
Remember the golden rule, and don't expect people to treat you well even if you treat them well – and I think before you know it you will feel.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 09:47 AM
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Oh, well, crazy comes in many forms, if you are going to call it that.
Perfect balance is the hardest thing for a human to achieve and sustain. That's why we've been coming up with practices, beliefs and disciplines we hope to aid us in that!

I have the opposite problem, the other extreme - I tend to trust people and assume the best even when I shouldn't.
Even when it is clear my first positive assumptions were wrong, I still keep thinking I'm missing something, or there must be a way to bring out the better qualities in a person (that are probably just lurking under the surface...)

Sometimes I get hurt. I get betrayed, I get cheated. I get pegged as "naive" or "sweet, but really stupid" by those around.

I am not stupid, but I know that, and actually prefer staying under the radar of those who are competative, so I don't waste precious energy, focus or time on such crap. I also have consciously analyzed and experimented, and come to the conscious conclusion that I prefer to stay this way and keep this habit. Because despite the occasional failure or heartbreak, it avoids the mistake of me injuring others who really are with the best intents and an open heart.

Because I want to encourage and help keep alive that part of humanity! As much as becoming bitter and harsh in order to survive is natural and comprehensible (and forgiveable), it is also easier - and makes love, gentleness, trust, and care the harder road to take, and more rare.

If some like us can find the strength to choose the harder road, and help save that rare bird, support and encourage each other, then I think that is valuable.

Plus, it is easier to get back up and heal after the failures whn you know you CHOSE this route - you weren't just a victim. You chose to take risks, with knowledge that sometimes you'll win and sometimes you'll lose.
-And when you win, you are not alone - someone else wins with you!



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 11:03 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Damn... it's almost like I wrote that. And likely speaks for a good majority of people living in the info age, where data is given almost immediately.

It's the assumptions, and particularly the negative assumptions that I keep striving to remove from relevance in my life. My environments and each our own's environments through life are unique as a snowflake... and the urges of companionship bring about actions of tradition/complacency... it creates the awkward energy communications between your coworker and yourself.

If the laws of nature worked in a more harmonized approach, the womb bearers would take full authority control of their offspring(s) and their own futures... not allowing men (seed spreaders) to decide future. If this occurred and your coworker had interest, she'd say... "I know this isn't work related, but it might be fun to go get some dinner so I can get to know more about you."

In all this, for me, comes welcomed craziness. Not much family, so all social functions are awkward. If I change and am left to steer the way, only more craziness will come of it. No social media other than here, so one becomes lost in that world too. I have went through long paths of seclusion of which breeds anti-conformity... these were choices and by no means forced. If I were to alter my actions to portray that I might be capable of change, there is a higher probability than 50% that comforts grow and true colors resurface. I am not capable of that trait... I can't change and it does not fit society standards as well.

I will limit the babbling for now... mainly offered it to see if it resembles your thoughts as your OP partly resembled my experiences in life. I always look for links to these equations... like maybe you are a middle child too? Places within families have a strong bond to the environments during growth. (1st children tend to be wild and free, 3rd children tend to be reserved, and middle children are often pulled both ways & want to please all)... very odd commonalities that seem to hold true.

One last thought... hang in there, your craziness is welcomed more than you may give credit for. It may even be the aspect that woman likes in you if you sensed a connection.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 11:05 AM
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a reply to: Bluesma

Very Inspiring words you wrote there!!!



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 11:45 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Sounds like a form of anxiety.
Most people have no idea what anxiety can do to a person both mentally and physically.
There are things associated with it, that would better fit the bill for schizophrenia. But nope, it's linked to anxiety.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 01:07 PM
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originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: Profusion

People make assumptions. Shocker.

What is "nice"? Nice is a subjective quality. You don't think people can't assume "nice" for the sake of appearances?

I don't know you, I don't know her...you expect accurate insight from the little information you have given...lol to that, try communicating more effectively with those you wish to communicate with.


Profusion, this reply above was rude, and I apologise. I'm ill, had had a bad morning at work, was deeply entrenched in my grumpy pants and I lost my patience. I stand by the point I was making, judge people on their actions, not their appearance, but I should have been "nicer" in how I put it and for that there is no excuse, I'm sorry if I offended you in my bruskness.

Which raises the point that "nice" is not only subjective, it is also highly relative.




posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 01:13 PM
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The positive thing here is that you are willing to look at this. This could be a turning point for you if you used this opportunity for honest, fearless self-reflection.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 01:14 PM
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a reply to: Profusion

Hey relax, just remember, nobody is dedicating that much energy to you.



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 01:50 PM
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a reply to: Profusion
this is a great thread, excellent reading material!



posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 01:52 PM
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posted on Feb, 26 2017 @ 03:32 PM
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Men need to stop turning into "walking stupid" because some broad has the looks.

Walk away from cray cray. Fast.



posted on Feb, 27 2017 @ 04:14 AM
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I learned early in my career its the dumb ones that cause all the trouble-stay away-quit thinking with your "little man."



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