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You heard of the Three Amigos, meet the Three Idiots...

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posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:03 AM
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Morning, guys.
Sorry I'm late. The dog's privates suddenly developed boils and pox...and since they've also doubled in size, it took me longer than expected to apply the ointment.




posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:07 AM
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a reply to: IAMTAT

Dude. Do you really refer to your wife as 'the dog'?



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:08 AM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: IAMTAT

Dude. Do you really refer to your wife as 'the dog'?



Why yes...She's a very fetching woman.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:10 AM
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originally posted by: IAMTAT
Why yes...She's a very fetching woman.


They all can be with the proper training.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:12 AM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Why yes...She's a very fetching woman.


They all can be with the proper training.


I used to think it would take forever...until I discovered the Shock collar.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:13 AM
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originally posted by: IAMTAT
I used to think it would take forever...until I discovered the Shock collar.


I like to use the Cesar Milan method and pinch them in the neck while I go 'Tsssssssst!'.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:21 AM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
I used to think it would take forever...until I discovered the Shock collar.


I like to use the Cesar Milan method and pinch them in the neck while I go 'Tsssssssst!'.


That works too, but the beauty of the shock collar is that while she's at home sleeping, I can still remotely zap her from the strip club two miles away.


There's an app on my phone.
edit on 5-3-2017 by IAMTAT because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:25 AM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I like Cesar salads.

Just the cheese and chicken though.

Not all that filling yucky lettuce though.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:28 AM
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originally posted by: IAMTAT
That works too, but the beauty of the shock collar is that while she's at home sleeping, I can still remotely zap her from the strip club two miles away.


There's an app on my phone.


I just leash mine and bring her to the club too.

Gotta have somewhere to rest my drink.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:28 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I like Cesar salads.

Just the cheese and chicken though.

Not all that filling yucky lettuce though.


Et tu Brute'?

So you've come to praise Cesar?



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:29 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
I like Cesar salads.

Just the cheese and chicken though.

Not all that filling yucky lettuce though.


You could potentially put Jenny Craig out of business with this healthy and nutritious diet.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:30 AM
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a reply to: IAMTAT

I once made a sandwich from raw bacon and croutons.

They kicked me off the show Master Chef.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 09:34 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: IAMTAT

I once made a sandwich from raw bacon and croutons.

They kicked me off the show Master Chef.


Philistines!



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:09 AM
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a reply to: IAMTAT

?

We weren't in Phillidelphia.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:18 AM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
That works too, but the beauty of the shock collar is that while she's at home sleeping, I can still remotely zap her from the strip club two miles away.


There's an app on my phone.


I just leash mine and bring her to the club too.

Gotta have somewhere to rest my drink.



I read an article that said my smoking might possibly hurt my wife.

So I started using an ashtray instead.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:20 AM
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originally posted by: IAMTAT
I read an article that said my smoking might possibly hurt my wife.


My last name is 'Smoking' and I can state that the 'possibility' is high.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:23 AM
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My parents changed my last name.

They said they just wanted to be friends.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:25 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
My parents changed my last name.

They said they just wanted to be friends.


My parents changed THEIR last name...right after they left the maternity ward.

It took me 37 years to track them down.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:36 AM
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a reply to: IAMTAT

My parents made me go on Maury to prove that I was their child.



posted on Mar, 5 2017 @ 10:39 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: IAMTAT

My parents made me go on Maury to prove that I was their child.



I saw that episode!
Didn't it turn out you were actually Maury's kid?
edit on 5-3-2017 by IAMTAT because: (no reason given)



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