posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 02:14 PM
I WAS ROBBED BY DBCOWBOY AT GUN POINT!!!!!
There I was, minding my own business on Las Vegas Boulevard's Strip Burger when this huge, sweaty, menacing, Harvey Weinstein-looking mofo comes up to
me, points what looks like a gun in my face and says, 'Give me your french fries!!!!'.
Now, as any red-blooded Freedom Fry loving American I was not about to hand over my hard fought side order of crispy, delicious fries to some creeper
on the Strip with what was obviously just a finger gun, in spite of the fact that he kept going *pew* *pew* *pew* and making attempts to boost my
Being the bad ass tough guy that I am I roundhouse kicked him upside his disturbingly large coconut and then sat down to casually finish my fries.
Just then a pack of toddlers ran up, most likely paid by this fry-thieving gross bomb. So I did what any bad ass tough guy does when toddlers try to
help some hairy monster steal fries; I individually punted them into the fountains in front of Caesar's Palace. The satisfying *plop* that they made
as each landed in the shimmering water made me think how much I enjoy life at these moments and that all of you an ATS should here about my
I credit my ability to easily defeat a morbidly obese geriatric and his band of pre-school miscreant thugs on my years of growing up in the tough
neighborhood of Upper Saddle River, New Jersey (median income: $175,000) where we would often have our au pairs fight hand to hand until one of them
got their manicures damaged.
The moral of the story? There isn't one, unless it's don't mess with a man eating his fries on the Vegas Strip where he never ever goes, not even next
week on Tuesday and Wednesday.
edit on 12-11-2017 by AugustusMasonicus because: networkdude has no beer