You heard of the Three Amigos, meet the Three Idiots...

a reply to: IAMTAT

Smearing dingo poop on their elbows for good luck...(and to repel the dreaded dingo witch).

Sammiches made, dingo poo applied, (llamas passive and a little bit afraid) the three heroic Idiots went forth.

But because there were only three of them, they couldn't go forth. So they went third.

Before they had even gone a mile, an evil witch woman stopped them on the road.

"Hey good look-. . . " DB quickly cut off her head so she could not cast an evil witch spell.

Thus saving the three.

But despite having severed her head from the rest of her anatomy she still blathered on and on.

"Did you take out the trash? Did you get the mail? Why did you leave the seat up?" The nagging was relentless and nearly caused them to have cranial embolisms but fortunately TAT had been wise enough to have brought a wadded up pile of his unwashed undergarments which he promptly shoved in the decapitated witch's gob. The silence was a blessed relief and they celebrated by getting hammered and kicking some cuddly forest creatures.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Sammiches made, dingo poo applied, (llamas passive and a little bit afraid) the three heroic Idiots went forth.

But because there were only three of them, they couldn't go forth. So they went third.

...but after deciding to go third, one of them first had to go #Two...and then two of them had to go #One, so the

three of them actually lost count of how many times they were going anywhere...and finally decided to 'take Five' to figure it all out before finally leaving.

Before they had even gone a mile, an evil witch woman stopped them on the road.

"Hey good look-. . . " DB quickly cut off her head so she could not cast an evil witch spell.

Thus saving the three.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

But despite having severed her head from the rest of her anatomy she still blathered on and on.

SMITE!

The fools did not even notice they severed a hologram.
Having stolen the holographic tech from Tupac Shakurs management company, the goddess fooled the fools yet again.

She continued her incantations creating an extra large chores list for the mindless men.

She added compulsory self help training sessions to the list of chores to be completed, these included:
How to find your own socks.
and
How to answer "do I look fat in this"

The goddess was trapped by her own spells however. She could not help her primal urges of bearing children and making sammiches and darning socks.

So she sank a bar of chocolate into a tub of ice cream and mixed in wine to create the spell of PMS to curse the Noble Idiots on their Mission of Truth and Justice!

a reply to: DBCowboy

The goddess laughed quietly as she whistled to the fools.

They trotted mindlessly towards their cage. She turned the key.
"Goodnight dear minions' She left them to chatter about their little play game she permitted them to have.

She took her wine and sank into her tub and made a mental to command the dingo guards to nip them if they move 5 feet from their sandbox on the morrow.

a reply to: zazzafrazz

Wow. They really went nuts while you were gone zazz.

I would have put them back in the cage, myself, but I couldn't stop laughing!

*wipes away tears*

Haha. They are incorrigible, aren't they? I mean, in a twisted sort of way? In any case, thanks.

*pats dingo on way out...shuts the massive troll gate with a wave of her hand...locks the bespelled padlock behind her and giggles...

"Men." Sigh. "I can almost understand why the goddess created the poor dears...SO entertaining..."

*snicker*

Cranks up Nickelback while the boys are in their cage. Wimmin win again!

Kitty, step away from the cage. They would only give you indigestion or some unheard of disease.

Meanwhile in yon kitchen...jacy stops making sammiches and perks up her ears at the sound of Canada's most beloved sons, Nickelback.
Raising her bruised and jello covered hand into the air she holds her lighter aflame, gently swaying back and forth to "If Everyone Cared".

Sophie the ferret was wrapped around the girl's chest to protect her modesty, and both heaved a sigh of relief when they heard the cage lock snap shut.
"The idiots are in bed now." the wee ferret murmured. "We are safe."
"For now," jacy grimaced.
"For now."


It's 2:50 am here and I can't sleep.
The last few pages of this thread have had me literally crying-laughing! So funny, all of you!!

a reply to: jacygirl

Bahahaha! I knew you'd make me laugh!

a reply to: jacygirl

The last few pages of this thread have had me literally crying-laughing! So funny, all of you!!

I believe that's called temporary insanity. You'll be alright when you get enough sleep. Now listen to Canada's beloved sons and relax dear.

originally posted by: zazzafrazz

She added compulsory self help training sessions to the list of chores to be completed, these included:
How to find your own socks.
and
How to answer "do I look fat in this"

DB carefully stepped into the flayed body of the witch and, wearing her skin like an evil onsie, asked the other Idiots, "Does this thing make me look fat?"

TAT and Mason exchanged baffled but slightly amused looks. There were so many directions they could take this.

The heroic, brave, noble, distinguished, good looking, well dressed heroes continued on in their journey to defeat the evil witch wimmin who have invaded the lands.

They must solve. . . . . . the "Secret of The Sammich".

originally posted by: DBCowboy
The heroic, brave, noble, distinguished, good looking, well dressed heroes continued on in their journey to defeat the evil witch wimmin who have invaded the lands.

They must solve. . . . . . the "Secret of The Sammich".

Yes, truly, the 3 idiots had prevailed yet again.

But there were more dangers and challenges ahead for our incredibly brave, debonair and 3rd. grade-educated heroes.

Tat gave a brief whistle for his faithful, noble, mangy, and syphilitic hound, Nutslurp.

Nutslurp, having just finished violating the Dingo witch's pet dingo, Rosie O'Donnell, raced to Tat's side,

...as these three magnificent idiots triumphantly marched forward to adventure, mystery...and many more wimmin-made sammiches.

As the brave, intrepid warriors marched off into destiny. . . they started singing the song of bravery and manhood. A song that had been passed down for generations from father to son.

It went something like this. . . .

I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain
That's what people say, that's what people say
I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay
At least that's what people say, that's what people say

But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music in my mind
Saying it's gonna be alright

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

originally posted by: DBCowboy
As the brave, intrepid warriors marched off into destiny. . . they started singing the song of bravery and manhood. A song that had been passed down for generations from father to son.

It went something like this. . . .

I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain
That's what people say, that's what people say
I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay
At least that's what people say, that's what people say

But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music in my mind
Saying it's gonna be alright

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

Yes, the ancient song brought both pride and introspection into their hearts; adding a discernible spring to their powerful steps...

...even though it still needed more cowbell.

a reply to: DBCowboy


Let's see what I can contribute to this mess....

Mama will bake,bake,bake some chewy cookies.
Mama will shake,shake,shake some chocolate smoothies.
Mama will smack,smack,smack some sense into the idiots.
Mama will run,run,run so they can't catch me.
How am I doing so far?

a reply to: mamabeth

"it's the Cookie Witch! Run!" Shouted DB as the three brave Idiots ran away hoping not to get cooties.

a reply to: DBCowboy

You really made me laugh on this one...the three BRAVE idiots?
Only idiots would run away from free cookies,you meant cookies
right,not cooties?