You heard of the Three Amigos, meet the Three Idiots...

originally posted by: jacygirl

originally posted by: knowledgehunter0986
I'm still trying to figure out how you thread-drift a thread with no direction.

Usually a video by "One Direction" or "Backstreet Boys" will do it!

TAT...I was working on a decapitation piece after lurking here last night! (for the story I mean)

Lay down a few lines for us, Jacy.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: knowledgehunter0986
I'm still trying to figure out how you thread-drift a thread with no direction.

It's lack of direction is part of it's charm....like a staggering drunk with one foot nailed to the floor.

Good lord!

We're Hemmingway!

Not Ernest Hemmingway.

The hot chick who did nude scenes.

We're her.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
I've been thinkin' we should try doing an inane and disgusting collaborative story, similar to what the fairy folk have been doing over at the Shed.

As long as you include a unicorn that impales helpless fairies I'm cool.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
I've been thinkin' we should try doing an inane and disgusting collaborative story, similar to what the fairy folk have been doing over at the Shed.

As long as you include a unicorn that impales helpless fairies I'm cool.

That would be pretty much a given.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
That would be pretty much a given.

And the witches get used as kindling to burn other witches. That too.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
That would be pretty much a given.

And the witches get used as kindling to burn other witches. That too.

See...This thing pretty much writes itself.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
See...This thing pretty much writes itself.

How could it not? You've basically got Poe, Lovecraft and King participating in this thread from page 1.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
That would be pretty much a given.

And the witches get used as kindling to burn other witches. That too.

See...This thing pretty much writes itself.

Bahahahaha....I was just going to ask if you guys have already started!!!

originally posted by: jacygirl

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
That would be pretty much a given.

And the witches get used as kindling to burn other witches. That too.

See...This thing pretty much writes itself.

Bahahahaha....I was just going to ask if you guys have already started!!!

Ladies first.

DB...Start us off.

It was a dark and stormy night off the shores of Condoor, the capital city of Phlegm where we find our hero's having a drink at the local tavern. . . . .

a reply to: jacygirl

It was a dark and stormy night as DB sat in his forest hovel, the rain slashing down in torrents, ringing off the pile of quart whiskey bottles and P.F. Chang takeout containers outside that he forgot to bring to the recycling center. Suddenly, a monstrous cramp racked his enormous body and a thunderous noise was heard that reverberated around the doomed woods.

The small group of woodland creatures foolish enough to reside near his vile abode were instantly vaporized by a mushroom cloud of Hiroshima-like proportions while those residing further away were overcome by his noxious emanation and succumbed to a most horrible death, writhing in agony as the foul air rolled over their tortured bodies.

The woods never recovered and were declared a Federal Superfund Site since the trees now glowed green and had a half-life of 25,000 years.


The End......or is it?


Take that Shedfolk.

Tat walks in....the bar fall quiet...as he sits beside DB.
How's the beer here, Tat asks?
Not looking up from his drink, DB says: "Tastes like unicorn mucus".

"Great! Make mine a large"...Tat replies.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: jacygirl

It was a dark and stormy night as DB sat in his forest hovel, the rain slashing down in torrents, ringing off the pile of quart whiskey bottles and P.F. Chang takeout containers outside that he forgot to bring to the recycling center. Suddenly, a monstrous cramp racked his enormous body and a thunderous noise was heard that reverberated around the doomed woods.

The small group of woodland creatures foolish enough to reside near his vile abode were instantly vaporized by a mushroom cloud of Hiroshima-like proportions while those residing further away were overcome by his noxious emanation and succumbed to a most horrible death, writhing in agony as the foul air rolled over their tortured bodies.

The woods never recovered and were declared a Federal Superfund Site since they trees now glowed green and had a half-life of 25,000 years.


The End......or is it?


Take that Shedfolk.

I like where this is going.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Mutated beyond recognition, the surviving elf-folk grew desperate to find sustenance in order to survive. Their once idyllic forest home, now reduced to a putrid radioactive swamp, could no longer support their intense gnawing hunger. Within days, the peaceful forest folk had begun to resort to an insane orgy of cannibalism.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Tat walks in....the bar fall quiet...as he sits beside DB.
How's the beer here, Tat asks?
Not looking up from his drink, DB says: "Tastes like unicorn mucus".

"Great! Make mine a large"...Tat replies.

DB looked at Tat and said, "Clownfart Jonny just offered us a job".

"We need a third guy, but it should be simple enough. Kidnap a faery, burn a magic tree and collect a pint of unicorn blood before the next full moon. Clownfart said he'd pay us in gold and get rid of that price that the Canadian witches put on our head."

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: jacygirl

It was a dark and stormy night as DB sat in his forest hovel, the rain slashing down in torrents, ringing off the pile of quart whiskey bottles and P.F. Chang takeout containers outside that he forgot to bring to the recycling center. Suddenly, a monstrous cramp racked his enormous body and a thunderous noise was heard that reverberated around the doomed woods.

The small group of woodland creatures foolish enough to reside near his vile abode were instantly vaporized by a mushroom cloud of Hiroshima-like proportions while those residing further away were overcome by his noxious emanation and succumbed to a most horrible death, writhing in agony as the foul air rolled over their tortured bodies.

The woods never recovered and were declared a Federal Superfund Site since the trees now glowed green and had a half-life of 25,000 years.


The End......or is it?


Take that Shedfolk.

The sequel is about Taco Bell.

You don't mind if I eat while I read?

So this brother begins telling this story ...

He was in Taiwan with an airline crew and he went down Snake Alley.

Snake Alley is where snakes are skinned alive, and have their living organs removed for a tonic, or an upper.

So far; so gross.

But then they took this little monkey, and they put it in a pan.

It screamed horrifically.

Then somebody came with a machete, and cut the monkey's head off.

So here you have a silent scream, and the body still flaying about in the pan.

Nobody was very hungry after that story, for some reason.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Tat walks in....the bar fall quiet...as he sits beside DB.
How's the beer here, Tat asks?
Not looking up from his drink, DB says: "Tastes like unicorn mucus".

"Great! Make mine a large"...Tat replies.

DB looked at Tat and said, "Clownfart Jonny just offered us a job".

"We need a third guy, but it should be simple enough. Kidnap a faery, burn a magic tree and collect a pint of unicorn blood before the next full moon. Clownfart said he'd pay us in gold and get rid of that price that the Canadian witches put on our head."

'Hmmmm...a third guy', Tat thought to himself.
Where could they find another idiot stupid enough to join them on such an obviously suicidal mission?

Just then, the trap door in the floor behind the bar, flew open with a crash...and, before anything else, DB and Tat saw the bar's night manager, Mason, clad in his familiar blood soaked leather apron, emerge from the basement.