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Never ever again... NEVER...

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posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 06:07 AM
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I just thought I would share one of those "Never again" moments that happened to me when I was a teenager...

Please feel free to share your never again moments here too.

In my younger years as a teenager I was a Chocoholic... Anywhere chocolate was available you would find me stuffing my face with the stuff...



It got to a point that even at Christmas time I would sneakily eat all the chocolates out of the second tiers of the boxes of chocolates that my parents used to receive, making it look as if the chocolates at the top were not touched.

I used to raid the pantry cupboards too and empty them of any cooking chocolat that happened to be an innocent victim...

Nothing was ever said by my parents about these missing chocolates but I always had a doubt that one day the inevitable would happen... And it did....

One evening whilst raiding the pantry cupboard before bedtime I stumbled upon a whole bar... "YES... A WHOLE BAR JUST FOR ME..." I silently and gleefully relished and slobbered as I eagerly ripped the wrapping paper off and proceeded to stuff the whole of the bar into my mouth and chomped away as if there was no tomorrow....

After guiltily disposing of the wrapping paper and cleaning my face and hands off, I popped upstairs to brush my teeth, said goodnight to my parents and proceeded with a full stomach to my bedroom in order to celebrate and digest my easy lootings and get a decent nights sleep as I had an important rugby match the next day at school...

However, next morning upon awakening and going down to the breakfast table I wasn't feeling to good.... Not good at all in fact as my stomach rumbled and churned and bubbled and boiled.....

"Erm... please excuse me I need to go... quickly..." I apologised to my parents and sister as I fled from the breakfast table as quickly as possible up to the bathroom in order to release myself of all this rumbling and churning and bubbling and boiling...

Feeling much better and wondering why my parents and sister had one of those "knowing" smiles on their faces, I packed my school bag and rugby kit and off to school I went...

The walk to school was roughly about 20 minutes away and into about 10 minutes of my walk the rumbling and churning and bubbling and boiling started again...

So... off behind a bush I went... (I had no choice...) and relieved myself (Luckily I had a packet of Kleenex)...

Anyways, after having to ask the teachers of various lessons a couple of times if I could be excused to go to the loo the time of the Rugby match during sports finally came around.

The game was going well and we were about 15 minutes into the match when a scrum was declared...(I was the hooker, or the rake if you prefer, and my job was to hook the ball back to get it out of the scrum)... Just for information our rugby kit was a Blue shirt and white shorts...

We all got into place and the words "ball coming in now" were pronounced before the scrum half threw the ball into the scrum...

And thats when the churning and bubbling and boiling started again...

It is not easy trying to rake a rugby ball out of a scrum whilst clenching ones buttocks I can tell you, especially when you are in a game where the score counts for the school final.

I clenched and clenched my bum cheeks whilst trying to hook the ball but to no avail... the inevitable happened and I let rip the most pungent, obnoxious and horrific fart that I have ever had to witness in my whole life...

Well... that split up the scrum I can tell you right now! My team mates were not at all impressed and neither was the opposite team...!

Then I realised the worst, not only had I embarrased myself in front of my team but also that the bottom burp in question happened to be what we call in the UK a "wet fart"... My white shorts were no longer white...

*Oh crap" (literally) I said as I akwardly hobbled and shuffled uncomfortably off the pitch with a red face to the changing rooms watching the crowd of onlooking pupils and a girl that I really fancied cheering, clapping and piddling themselves laughing.

After showering and changing, needless to say that I was the laughing stock of the school for the rest of the day (and the 6 months that followed) and even earned the nickname "Squelchy", I also had to have a note from my parents excusing me from lessons from time to time over the next 2 days if I needed to go to the loo.

At the end of that fateful day and upon getting home and going to the loo at least 3 times I finally took the courage to explain to my parents and sister what had happened.

As they stood there clutching their sides in laughter my mother handed me the packet below :



"That will teach you" she said wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes.

"Never ever again... NEVER..." I said to myself...

Ever had a never again moment folks?

Warmest

Lags
edit on 21-2-2017 by Lagomorphe because: Phrase added




posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 06:23 AM
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Part of me is giggling.
Part of me is horrified that your family did this to you.

You have my condolences.

-Alee



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 06:25 AM
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Your probably not the first rugby player to experience that, but you might be one of the few to have done it to yourself.

Edit to add; did you get the girl?


edit on 21-2-2017 by CulturalResilience because: (no reason given)

edit on 21-2-2017 by CulturalResilience because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 06:54 AM
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originally posted by: CulturalResilience
Your probably not the first rugby player to experience that, but you might be one of the few to have done it to yourself.

Edit to add; did you get the girl?



@Alee, thank you... It taught me a lesson though


@CR, Sadly not at that time, however, a couple of years later we met up and flirted around for about 6 months

Warmest

Lags



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 06:58 AM
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You really have to wonder whose brilliant idea it was to disguise a laxative as chocolate.
EVIL.



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:03 AM
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originally posted by: AccessDenied
You really have to wonder whose brilliant idea it was to disguise a laxative as chocolate.
EVIL.


The laxative came in chocolate bar form so they replaced the cooking chocolate with the Exlax (At that time the Exlax didn't have Exlax written on each tablet) :



My sister and Mother were the main culprits

Warmest

Lags
edit on 21-2-2017 by Lagomorphe because: Crap spelling



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:12 AM
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a reply to: Lagomorphe

I am sorry you had to go trough that. Not the best way to became the "popular kid" at school.

My never EVER story:

The year is 1986 I am just turning 11. Opposite side of the building where my parents and I lived was a small tobacco shop, selling all kind of things besides smokes, magazines, sweets, key rings, etc and the occasional small toys.

One day I saw something that blew my 11 years old mind away. A rubber spider size of a tarantula that slowly climbs down on any glass surface, windows mirrors, like in slow motion step by step. Magic!


The price was very close to 10 pack of cigarettes a line as we called it. Nice amount of money back in 86, so there was no chance my Mom would buy it for me. I didn't even ask. I knew where she kept her hidden money in coins, so one day I just took what I needed. I never stole anything before I was a good kid. So yeah I took the money, went to the shop got the spider, couldn't wait to make it home. We lived on the 4th, top floor in our building. I ran to the large living room windows that faced the street. Threw up the spider onto the window as high as I could and....... And basically throw the bloody thing out trough the upper OPEN window straight down to traffic to never see it again.


Never ever took any money from anyone that was not mine since. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming, and even though she never mentioned the missing money, to this day I think she knew it the whole time.

My Shame



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:14 AM
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a reply to: Lagomorphe

That's horrible, yet very very funny. Considering what the story is about, I have to wonder if that's chocolate on the kid in the pic.
edit on 21-2-2017 by Skid Mark because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:23 AM
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Never ever took any money from anyone that was not mine since. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming, and even though she never mentioned the missing money, to this day I think she knew it the whole time.

My Shame


Hehe.. that will teach you... I remember those spiders, they were pretty cool

Warmest

Lags



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:24 AM
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originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: Lagomorphe

That's horrible, yet very very funny. Considering what the story is about, I have to wonder if that's chocolate on the kid in the pic.


It is funny thinking back about it Skid. I have other similar stories which I will post here shortly

Now, do you have a similar story to tell as your avatar name as always had me curios?


Warmest

Lags



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:36 AM
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a reply to: Lagomorphe

I had an instinctive feeling this involved laxatives at the hands of your parents.

Do you still eat chocolate?
Or is the memory too fresh and painful? And hey, "Squelchy" ain't so bad! LOL



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 07:39 AM
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originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: Lagomorphe

I had an instinctive feeling this involved laxatives at the hands of your parents.

Do you still eat chocolate?
Or is the memory too fresh and painful? And hey, "Squelchy" ain't so bad! LOL


I'm not a keen chocolate fan anymore but my missus and son are, so maybe one day I might get to do the same thing back as both of them snurfle any chocolates that are lying around.

I hated that bloody nickname and was glad to leave that school


I remember also that I couldn't stand the sight of bog roll for a long long time after that incident!

Warmest

Lags
edit on 21-2-2017 by Lagomorphe because: Phrase added



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 08:01 AM
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I suppose with your ATS name it was a foregone conclusion that you would contribute to this thread.
a reply to: Skid Mark



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 08:03 AM
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originally posted by: szino9
a reply to: Lagomorphe

I am sorry you had to go trough that. Not the best way to became the "popular kid" at school.

My never EVER story:

The year is 1986 I am just turning 11. Opposite side of the building where my parents and I lived was a small tobacco shop, selling all kind of things besides smokes, magazines, sweets, key rings, etc and the occasional small toys.

One day I saw something that blew my 11 years old mind away. A rubber spider size of a tarantula that slowly climbs down on any glass surface, windows mirrors, like in slow motion step by step. Magic!


The price was very close to 10 pack of cigarettes a line as we called it. Nice amount of money back in 86, so there was no chance my Mom would buy it for me. I didn't even ask. I knew where she kept her hidden money in coins, so one day I just took what I needed. I never stole anything before I was a good kid. So yeah I took the money, went to the shop got the spider, couldn't wait to make it home. We lived on the 4th, top floor in our building. I ran to the large living room windows that faced the street. Threw up the spider onto the window as high as I could and....... And basically throw the bloody thing out trough the upper OPEN window straight down to traffic to never see it again.


Never ever took any money from anyone that was not mine since. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming, and even though she never mentioned the missing money, to this day I think she knew it the whole time.

My Shame


This is the perfect moral/karma anecdote. With your permission I would like use this one as a cautionary tale.



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 08:38 AM
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originally posted by: CulturalResilience

originally posted by: szino9
a reply to: Lagomorphe

I am sorry you had to go trough that. Not the best way to became the "popular kid" at school.

My never EVER story:

The year is 1986 I am just turning 11. Opposite side of the building where my parents and I lived was a small tobacco shop, selling all kind of things besides smokes, magazines, sweets, key rings, etc and the occasional small toys.

One day I saw something that blew my 11 years old mind away. A rubber spider size of a tarantula that slowly climbs down on any glass surface, windows mirrors, like in slow motion step by step. Magic!


The price was very close to 10 pack of cigarettes a line as we called it. Nice amount of money back in 86, so there was no chance my Mom would buy it for me. I didn't even ask. I knew where she kept her hidden money in coins, so one day I just took what I needed. I never stole anything before I was a good kid. So yeah I took the money, went to the shop got the spider, couldn't wait to make it home. We lived on the 4th, top floor in our building. I ran to the large living room windows that faced the street. Threw up the spider onto the window as high as I could and....... And basically throw the bloody thing out trough the upper OPEN window straight down to traffic to never see it again.


Never ever took any money from anyone that was not mine since. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming, and even though she never mentioned the missing money, to this day I think she knew it the whole time.

My Shame


This is the perfect moral/karma anecdote. With your permission I would like use this one as a cautionary tale.


Just don't pinch money from your mums purse to buy a cute kitten! They don't stick too well to windows...

Warmest

Lags



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 08:48 AM
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a reply to: CulturalResilience

Go on share my story of shame



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 08:59 AM
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a reply to: Lagomorphe
Oh Lag thank you for sharing your moment of shame! I can just picture the little boy sitting in the pantry eating the last piece of chocolate....

If parents couldn't pick on their kids what would be the reward for having them?



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 09:14 AM
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a reply to: Lagomorphe
Do not try to fish a piece of bread from the toaster with a metal knife, frigging hurts, lightning and all (SNIP).



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 09:23 AM
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originally posted by: solve
a reply to: Lagomorphe
Do not try to fish a piece of bread from the toaster with a metal knife, frigging hurts, lightning and all (SNIP).


Ouch... A little like the video below but I am sure you didn't do it intentionally.

WARNING Graphic language :



*shakes head slowly* those guys in the video are dorks...

Warmest

Lags



posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 09:33 AM
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a reply to: Lagomorphe

It's a shart.

Gotta love family




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