posted on Feb, 21 2017 @ 02:04 AM
By that, I mean my freedom as an independent person but I feel like that doesn't even properly explain what I mean. So, just so we're on the same
page, this has nothing to do with any political freedoms or rights, nor the fear of any being taken away by politicians. So, no politics.
Before I start on this rant, I feel I need to address how I've been absent from this forum for awhile. I'm sure it'll be weird to some that I just
come back to type up a personal rant but I literally have no other outlet as my family has made sure to track me down to every corner of the internet
I've touched. This place is safe because they seem to think that conspiracy websites = malware, but I doubt they'd even think to look here. Speaking
of family, that brings me into my rant.
They have made sure I cannot live without their approval, or their knowledge. They've always been this way. It's part of the reason why I'm glad I
had no interest in dating, which to them is odd seeing as I'm a 20-something fertile woman. I'm sure if they could, they'd make sure I was married
on the day I graduated. And before I continue, this is everyone in my family minus my dad because he decided he'd rather not bother being a
dad. Although, he says that one is on me because he let me choose (read: gave me an ultimatum) between him and mom on his weekend before his christmas
holiday. Obviously, I chose my mom and he kept true to his promise of me never seeing him again. But my rant isn't about him, although I'm sure I
could add a paragraph or two about him if I wanted.
No, this is about how my aunts, uncles, grandma, and sister all seem to work to make sure my life is under some form of their control. While I didn't
list my mom, she did play a part in making sure I didn't go to college. I couldn't go to the college I wanted because it was 11 hours away.
According to her, I should keep living with her, take a couple of online classes, and work with her at the bog-box retail store in town. Even when I
applied without her knowledge, she made sure to screw me over by somehow removing or voiding the loan in her name late enough into december that I
couldn't find a supplementary loan or grant in time, so now I directly owe the college for one semester on top of the student loans in my name.
I'm still bitter about that, but it's like they say: hindsight is 20/20.
But I feel like I need glasses for my hindsight because it seems blind as a bat sometimes. I'll get to the point of this in a moment.
When it comes to the rest of my family, anything I did was instantly known by someone. My town is small-- 7k --so I expected this on occasion but this
was every. single. time.
Walking 5 minutes down the road to the general goods store as a teen? My mom got a call that I was walking the streets.
Stopping by McDonalds after school? I'd get a phone call the moment I got home by some aunt, or my grandma, asking what I had at Mickey D's.
Headed to a friend's house? They call my mom asking who lives in the area. This happened even after they've been told who lived there.
Alternatively, a friend entering my house? My mom or I would get a call to see who was paying a visit and how long they'd be there.
They knew every move I made. The creepy part was we lived a good couple of miles from them and none of our neighbors were friends, let alone
acquaintances, with any of them. Come to find out, it was a habit for at least one of them, aunt, uncle, or great-aunt, to drive the area we lived in
and the area I walked from school to mcdonalds to home, multiple times a day. They even did it to my mom after she got off work. If her car was not
home, they'd make a point to find it because they just had to know where she was. If they couldn't find it, they'd call her asking where she was.
After putting up with this for years, both my mom and I had enough. Questioning them only gave us the mutual defense that they were just making sure
we were alright, that we (especially I) should be thankful, and we were being rude and unappreciative for the amount of time they put forth into
making sure we're alright. At the same time, ALL of their kids in my age group (13 - 18) minus one were on some sort of drugs or in trouble with the
law. Yet it was I, who was getting straight As in school and only interested in reading books and watching nature documentaries that needing
That's not even including the times they berated my mom over the phone for not inviting them to grocery shop with her after they spotted her car at
And not to mention the time my disabled aunt sent her 18 year old son (ironically, the one who molested me up until I was 15) to an apartment they
seen me at. A male friend lived there with one of his friends and both were great people. Helpful to the community, friendly to anyone they talked to,
and all-around safe to be around. One happened to be in the same graduating class as my cousin so he used that as an excuse to be there, however they
were never friends. Never. But, being the nice guys they were, they let him in that day because they weren't sure if this was a cry for help.
Sometime later that day, my mom got a call from disabled aunt saying she had to take her son to the ER for a drug test because they spiked his drink.
She also let her in on the nefarious goings-on that happened at the apartment, such as any girl going there is sleeping around with them all and doing
Her son tested negative for everything, by the way.
And I guess it didn't help her case that they had been recording themselves playing guitar hero when he stopped by for all of 10 minutes, which was
all on tape. Never once did he drink anything. But, he did ask about me a heck of a lot like what I wore here and how I acted around them. And then
left when they asked why it was his business. The clock on the wall in the video matched the time he checked in to the ER if he was to leave that
second from their apartment and drive to the hospital. So, come to your own conclusions.
But it doesn't stop there.
Without all the unneeded details, I moved FAR away from this state. I was free, for once, and I managed to finally gain 10 pounds to reach a healthy
130 lbs. Of all my years, I was actually happy. I had a great job, all four of my roommates were awesome, and I could be myself without having to
answer for everything I did. Except, that wasn't the case. If I didn't answer my phone, my sister would threaten me with cops. If I failed to call
or text back after 30 minutes, I would be met with multiple text messages and calls from other family. I tried cancelling the phone service but that
was met with a "welfare" visit from the police a day later. And, because one of my roommates smoked weed, I was booted from the household because it
was too much of a headache for them.
And so I had no choice but to head back to my home-state because my job was only part-time and minimum wage. It was nowhere near enough to maintain
rent in that area without at least another income and everyone I knew there were mutual friends with my roommates. Because they knew and sometimes
were present for the harassing calls, none were open to that type of drama.
So there I was, heading back to my family in what I'm sure they saw as a victory. Especially my sister, who you'll soon find out is the worst of