It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

The Four Cats

page: 1
18

log in

join
share:
+1 more 
posted on Feb, 19 2017 @ 09:23 PM
link   

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet … Ate the cookies … Drank the milk … Crapped on the paper … Screwed the other three cats … Claimed he injured his back while doing so ... Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions … Put in for Workers Compensation ... and Went home for the rest of the day on paid sick leave.

And that, my friends, is why everyone wants to work for the government



posted on Feb, 19 2017 @ 09:59 PM
link   
a reply to: Snarl

Lol, he was a bureau-cat.



posted on Feb, 19 2017 @ 10:43 PM
link   
Thanks for that. I have five cats-one that has had 3 litters - used to be homeless - but Planned Parenthood showed her how to stop having babies and still collect from the government.



posted on Feb, 20 2017 @ 01:27 PM
link   
a reply to: intrptr

Intrptr, that was just awful!l! You made me snarf my coffee!!! Where do I file a claim for the dry cleaning bill?? 😀
~LB



posted on Feb, 20 2017 @ 03:35 PM
link   
a reply to: LittleBurgh

What a catastrophic problem you have there.

Unfortunately I am terribly, terribly, terribly unable to help you.

Except with the humor. It was rather good wasn't it?

Thanks again for the star stuff in that other thread.



posted on Feb, 20 2017 @ 03:44 PM
link   
a reply to: intrptr

It's okay. I was still in my sweats & they've been through worse than a coffee spill. Welcome for the star stuff. It's kind of in the genes in my family. 😀

World's worst joke:

A ham sandwich walks into a bar.....

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

Hehehehe... Awful!!!
~LB




top topics
 
18

log in

join