Explain This Term Women Use.....

originally posted by: savemebarry

originally posted by: berenike

What circumstances would you recommend for this honesty?

Alone and in private. not for the world to see, not to make a scene.

That you even ask says so much more. the virtue of trust and honesty is lost. we live in a world of "I don't love you but I will have sex with you and show you off, till I find someone better." and I am not ok with that.

but that's just me... you can all go about ruining futures for people as much as you like.

Beg pardon?

I asked a fair question. Suppose the reason a woman is rejecting a man is because he has a history of mistreating his girlfriends and he's built like a brick outhouse.

Do you wanna stand between her and him when she gets honest with him?

Women get hit on a lot. Introductions aren't the 'done thing' anymore. How can anyone feel entirely safe when rejecting someone who's shown an unwanted interest in them?

There's an element of self preservation involved as well as trying not to hurt someone's feelings.

Where did I mention anything about sleeping arrangements? In my mind the people involved were at the stage where she's trying to let him down lightly because she doesn't fancy him.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha

originally posted by: VengefulGhost
Translation - he not rich enough .

This. Is always the answer. Always. Call me a misogynist, and I'll show you a misogynist who is correct.

Not true at all.

"My type" is dark haired. It always has been ... except for some reason I got a crush on a red-head once in junior high. I've gotten crushes on dark haired guys who were less conventionally attractive than some blondes I suspected were interested, but I just couldn't care. I liked guys with dark hair ... especially if they had lighter colored eyes.

And, in fact, I ended up married to guy with dark, curly hair.

a reply to: Abysha

I don't look for women, and women don't look for me.

And yet they still manage to get into my wallet. Once I close the bank they take off to find another fool.

I'm not a terrible looking bloke. Money is the isolated variable here.

Case closed as far as I'm concerned.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Wow, seriously? I used to hold you in high regard around here, but sheesh that attitude's offensive.

I am the least materialistic woman you can meet. Always been that way.

I've been cheated on, and abused almost to death. But never would I say that ALL men are cheats or abusers.
Anyone who has such a horrible opinion of an entire gender is never going to have a healthy loving relationship.

Quote from a song by Will Smith, "Don't blame the next one for the last one".
jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Oh I don't blame a single gender. I blame both.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: jacygirl

Oh I don't blame a single gender. I blame both.

Ok, good.
Yes rich men buy beautiful women. To me that's just a business transaction with each person getting what they want.
But that's not love and maybe they don't care.

And yes I have known the typical gold-digger type of female, but we could never be friends for long because I don't view people (men) as something to exploit.

I likely reacted as such because in my relationships, the men have always been the materialistic ones. Maybe I somehow attracted them by being low maintenance, lol?

Anyways, just please stop thinking that ALL women are after money. Perhaps you also were attractive to that type because you're generous and unselfish with your funds and they took advantage of it?
jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Yep. I was an easy target. Now I'm just a cold-hearted jerk.

Sorry, this is what life experience does to us.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Don't let it make you cold (or a jerk).

After all that I've endured, I'm more compassionate than ever.
In no way would I ever want to be a cold selfish person who only cares about herself.

I'm much more careful and picky about who I associate with anymore though. I once inherited some money, the only money I've ever had in my life...and everybody around me took advantage. So I do understand.
But I cut those people out of my life and carry on being me.

Like I said, I've always enjoyed reading your posts around here. Keep a warm heart but don't let yourself get used again. That's the same advice that I tell myself, lol.
jacy

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
She is single and has been burned by cheating bad boys and yet still says this...
"He is a super nice guy, but he is just not my type"

Now it could be a legitimate statement, but what is the woman really saying.

1) He is boring.
2) He is not attractive to her.
3) He is useless in bed.
4) She actually likes bad boys that treat her badly because she is secretly addicted to perpetual drama, but won't admit it to herself or her friends.
5) He is "friend zoned".
6) He is a Beta Male
7) He is not rich enough.
8) No chemistry.

Maybe 2 and 8? If I used that term, I'd mean the person wasn't someone with whom I had much in common, few shared interests, nothing to talk about, and maybe not someone to whom I could be attracted. Mostly the rest. Some people really do have a "type". My oldest, for example, likes guys who are darker haired, brooding, and cuddly. I am told I like "scoundrels", but will debate the term, lol! NOT "bad boys", by any means. basically good guys, but willing to do what is needed in certain situations. Han Solo is a good example. Captain Kirk, another, to stay with fictional dudes. I want a guy who's strong, but willing to listen, decent inside, but tough as necessary. People do have different tastes. Had ONE blind date, ever, and it was one of the sort you mention. He was very nice, polite, etc, but so NOT my type! Nothing to talk about, and I tried, and nothing at all in common. So, nice, but not for me! Really hope he found the right girl at some point! Money? Would be nice, but can do without. Looks? Again, nice, but so subjective! A guy doesn't have to be perfect to be attractive, either. Some guys who are NOT what you'd consider conventionally attractive can be quite appealing.

So, don't take it the wrong way of you hear that from a girl. Even someone with whom we have a lot in common can be the wrong one for a romance. Have a GOOD old friend like that. The guy s adorable, has a good job, always a nice car, similar taste in music, movies, etc. Love his family. No romantic spark whatsoever. Heck, if he'd have had one, I'd likely have been amenable to romance,just because he was so nice. The romance wasn't there, though.

originally posted by: IkNOwSTuff
Id say trying to understand or make sense of anything women say to be an exercise in futility.

Theyre fricken awesome and I couldnt imagine life without them but they are all bat shyte crazy and for the most part illogical.

Of course we are! All part of the plan! If you men figured out the rules, we'd have to change them; that's in the rule book! Freebie for you.

Trust me, we feel the same about men!! Love them to pieces, but they can drive a girl crazy!!

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

Number 2.
It's always about the physical attraction.

It means there is no real chemistry. The person feels more like a brother or family to them. And often this also means the person isn't "attractive" in that way to you. It doesn't meant they're not attractive but not the way you need.
A combination of those 2, and the chemistry may have a lot to do with attractiveness because sometimes people's looks grow on you due to chemistry. These things aren't always logical either, but they are somewhat individual. What isn't your type may very well be your friend's type, or sister's type.

Women like men who don't sit on internet forums trying to dissect what they say and what they mean.

It could be potentially anything.
For example, maybe he is military and she is ideologically opposed to such a career. Perhaps he looks like her ex and that creeps her out.

Simply, maybe she does not find compatibility in him. There is more to a relationship than "being nice".
It could also be said because so many people seem to feel they have the right to demand an explanation for their advances being rejected, as though it was a personal slight or attack. This gives a reason.

I am a lesbian, who is engaged, and I still have males demand I give them a chance at a date. I have been told I am lying about my partner and being a lesbian. I can imagine such a thing being said because it is also irrefutable. "No thanks", is often rejected.

Alas I digress, there is no general rule as to what it means. You'd have to ask the person that said it.