In God we trust. Everyone else gets frisked!

WANTED: Consider extremely charmed and boisterous. Middle-aged, half burnt-out cop with morbid sense of humor and receding hairline. Stop and hold until he tells you a good joke. If subject is apprehended, take him IMMEDIATELY to the nearest doughnut shop. Do not lie to him because he is trained in advanced lying. Do not try to hide the paraphernalia because he knows better hiding places than you do. Do not run from him because he quit running years ago-now he just drives fast and shoots really good. Do not get in his way because he is either going to a call or going to lunch. Do not feed him anything except old microwave burritos from the Quick Stop and coffee that tastes like paint thinner. Most important of all: Do not let the beer get cold when he is about to go on days off!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What in the hell is this thread supposed to be about?

Is this a self-description?

[edit on 1/30/2005 by djohnsto77]

It's a joke, New York! Chill out and take your anxiety down a notch. It's a cop thing, I guess. We tend to make fun of ourselves sometimes for stress management. It was intended to be a novel way to break the ice and introduce myself, that's why it's posted under "introductions"??? If I need explain more, then you will just never get it. Nice to meet you anyway..............

Ok, welcome then...

I just wasn't sure what you meant...thanks for the clarification!

Welcome to ATS.

welcome

have fun

Welcome to the great ATS! Enjoy yourstay.

Welcome to ATS, blueknight.

Where do I get one of those hats with the flashing blue light on them ?

Welcome.

Care for a cup of coffee and a Dunkin Donut?

Hi and welcome.

So its really true that American cops love donuts? You always see it in the movies...I just thought it was a fictional thing. Here (in Australia) I dont know what the perferred snack of law enforcement is, but you never see a cop with a donut.

actually, the reason it is portrayed that way is because back in the early 1900s or whenever, the only places that were open were bakeries in the early morning, when robberies most often occurred. the bakers needed to be there early to start all the cookering and the doughing and the rolling flat of uncooked bread! so, being the only place open, the bakeries were the only places needed protection most of the time. the cops would go to some of em and hang out, chat it up with the baker, and in return for their services, they would recieve donuts! i wish i could have been one of them


anyways, welcome blueknight, this is the first welcome i have ever done, i think, you should feel special! or...get an award or something.

Thank you for that bit of trivia, Kompaktor. I study history as a hobby, but I had never heard that story, pretty cool-I'll have to see if my buddies at work have heard that. Here's another one for you: most scholars agree that the term "cop" comes from one of two origins. The first theory is it's an acronym for Constable On Patrol, dating back to England in the 1800's. The second theory is that it is short for copper, because the first policemen in old England wore copper badges. Cool, huh?

As far as the doughnut thing, it is mostly a myth perpetuated by Hollywood. Most cops of the modern era are very healthy and eat high protein, high carb diets and work out a lot. I personally hate sweets. I was the wierd little kid that liked brussel sprouts and spinach over candy and cake. Most police departments today won't even hire you unless you first pass a rigorous physical fitness test. Some departments, like mine, actually have rules against eating, smoking or drinking in public. I guess they are trying to restore the image of professionalism, although that's an uphill battle when one video clip(usually from southern California) can shed a bad light on all of us.

Anybody want to know the secrets in getting out of a speeding ticket!!!!!????

It will only cost you ten thousand dollars in small, unmarked bills!

I work at Tim Hortons...

Welcome aboard, the beer is in the fridge and nuts are all over the place.

Is disliking candy somehow abnormal?

Cop question:

Do you prefer dunkin donuts or tim horton's donuts?? yes tim horton's are in the states too...

Same question for coffee... Since we pay city taxes I see some of it go towards the police department, just for future reference when i'm in a good enough mood to take my ass down to the office i'd like to know which they prefer so I can go bearing donuts and a nice big tin of coffee...


timmy ho's is the best out of the two from my p.o.v, but I also don't want to be responsible for clogged arteries and high cholesterol...

I can't speak to either issue of the doughnuts or coffee. Sorry, but I don't care for either one. I usually drink hot tea in the winter with a shot of lemon juice and iced tea and bottled water in the summer (we wear upwards of ten pounds of equipment and several layers of clothing, making for a constant need for water). I also prefer beef jerky, fresh vegetables and other high-protein, high-vitamin foods. As you can imagine, we deal with a lot of diseased people and therefore need to constantly wash and fill ourselves with vitamins. We also need muscle building proteins for physical conflicts. So I cannot comment on the different brands of doughnuts. Reminds me of a funny story, though:

A state trooper I used to work with got into a physical confrontation with a guy once who did not want to go to jail. The trooper was losing the fight along the side of the road when the Krispy Kreme doughnut delivery guy came along, grabbed the bad guy, beat the snot out of him and became a local hero. Pretty funny, huh?

the subject is correct but the joke seems pale in comparison to that truth

Have fun here.... welcome aboard

Donuts I understand, but what's wrong with cold beer?