Guilty or innocent? Opinions?

My girlfriend phoned me saying she will be late, because she was detained by loss prevention at a Meijer grocery store for shoplifting.. Her claim is, it got hot in the store, so she took her coat off and placed it in the child seat, covering some items that were ultimately not paid for.

My argument is, I have worked in retail and have a best good buddy who was in "loss prevention" at a Target store back in 2003 or so... You CANNOT approach or accuse a person unless you are SURE they are guilty, for obvious reasons, lawsuits, etc...

She insists that she put the coat over top of the items on accident. What bothers me is, that happens a lot, and they MUST have seen more, they HAD to have seen more, in order for them to make any accusation, or else they are in deep trouble and open for lawsuits and all other sorts of trouble.

The outcome, is they let her go because the Police Officer had not shown up after 45 minutes or so, and that there is a 30 day period from today where they can still take action, (bench warrant, etc)

My question is, well your opinion? I do not know whether she is guilty or not, although I suspect she is, because of the tight protocols that need to be followed in order to prosecute. She is obviously mad as hell at me for not taking her side, but I tell her, from my experience how loss prevention and the law works, that they would not have made that "move" unless they were absolutely sure about it, in order to cover their own ass'es legally.

A part of me hopes she is guilty, as bad as that sounds, because things have been rocky from week one (of 4 years) pretty much. Another part of me loves her. Anyway... Lawyers, leo's, what say you?

She was most definitely shoplifting.

I say this because security does not take action until you are outside the store with the goods, You can fill your pockets with stuff in a store and security will not react until you walk out the door, the reason is legally it is not theft while inside the store.

a reply to: iTruthSeeker

Sounds like you have difficulty in believing what she says.
Break it off.
Find someone you can trust.

originally posted by: ColaTesla
She was most definitely shoplifting.

I say this because security does not take action until you are outside the store with the goods, You can fill your pockets with stuff in a store and security will not react until you walk out the door, the reason is legally it is not theft while inside the store.

She is a bit of an airhead, not very bright, so I reserve the it "could" have been an accident. But if it were an accident, it should have been easy for loss prevention to realize that fact, and cut her lose. Which means there is more to it.

originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: iTruthSeeker

Sounds like you have difficulty in believing what she says.
Break it off.
Find someone you can trust.

Well that is not necessarily a fault of hers, could be mine, as far as trust and past experiences.

a reply to: iTruthSeeker

Good luck with settling that case Inspector Gadget! My advice... Go Go Gadget Doghouse!!!

I think a 'blood is thicker than water' approach may in store for this one... maybe until occurrences become repetitive???

Of course, if this is just one of the things that are filling out the list of 'no future potential'... then maybe a case of Go Go Gadget Boot To The Curb!

Best wishes with the case!

originally posted by: iTruthSeeker

originally posted by: ColaTesla
She was most definitely shoplifting.

I say this because security does not take action until you are outside the store with the goods, You can fill your pockets with stuff in a store and security will not react until you walk out the door, the reason is legally it is not theft while inside the store.

She is a bit of an airhead, not very bright, so I reserve the it "could" have been an accident. But if it were an accident, it should have been easy for loss prevention to realize that fact, and cut her lose. Which means there is more to it.

You know her best man, Has anything else ever went missing?

originally posted by: ttobban
a reply to: iTruthSeeker

Good luck with settling that case Inspector Gadget! My advice... Go Go Gadget Doghouse!!!

I think a 'blood is thicker than water' approach may in store for this one... maybe until occurrences become repetitive???

Of course, if this is just one of the things that are filling out the list of 'no future potential'... then maybe a case of Go Go Gadget Boot To The Curb!

Best wishes with the case!

Lol I really do not care if she did... I was a little delinquent when I was a teen and am guilty of far worse. But it is the trust thing. For what it is worth, she is 33 with no criminal record, as of yet lol.

originally posted by: ColaTesla

originally posted by: iTruthSeeker

originally posted by: ColaTesla
She was most definitely shoplifting.

I say this because security does not take action until you are outside the store with the goods, You can fill your pockets with stuff in a store and security will not react until you walk out the door, the reason is legally it is not theft while inside the store.

She is a bit of an airhead, not very bright, so I reserve the it "could" have been an accident. But if it were an accident, it should have been easy for loss prevention to realize that fact, and cut her lose. Which means there is more to it.

You know her best man, Has anything else ever went missing?

Noooo not at all. She hasn't done me wrong that way. She is a very giving person. Maybe she was just testing the waters for a thrill on a certain overpriced item, I don't know.

a reply to: iTruthSeeker

It all comes down to the simple complexities of coping I'd say...

People either cope with the 'rush' of feelings or the 'avoidance'. Maybe the personality type in question here merely copes by feeling a 'rush' of energy. This basic structuring causes a whole array of human actions that cause other humans great mystery.

Excessive coping and unhealthy repetitive forms of coping are what's to be alarmed over. Often times, healthier coping methods just need to be navigated to keep negative forces at bay.

a reply to: iTruthSeeker

My question is, well your opinion? I do not know whether she is guilty or not, although I suspect she is, because of the tight protocols that need to be followed in order to prosecute. She is obviously mad as hell at me for not taking her side, but I tell her, from my experience how loss prevention and the law works, that they would not have made that "move" unless they were absolutely sure about it, in order to cover their own ass'es legally.

A part of me hopes she is guilty, as bad as that sounds, because things have been rocky from week one (of 4 years) pretty much. Another part of me loves her. Anyway... Lawyers, leo's, what say you?

Sounds like you're not sure that you want to continue your relationship with her.
Because that's what you're risking by telling her that you don't believe her...

a reply to: iTruthSeeker

You will be fine bud...you already know the answers to your questions.
Slow down and take it in stride....3 years from now we will both chuckle at this thread.
Godspeed.

I've gone through the checkout and put everything from the cart down and payed for it and upon leaving noticed I had something in my hand that I had not put down. I went back to the counter and told the girl I had it in my hand and she said she was wondering about it but thought maybe I had taken it in. I payed for it before leaving the store, I can't remember what it even was anymore, it was small. I also left a big pkg of paper towels on the lower shelf of the cart one time and got all the way out to the car before I discovered it and had to go back into the store to pay for it. I had no intention of stealing, I am very honest.

One day I was in back of a woman in her twenties in line at the store and she pulled her wallet out of her purse. A dollar bill fell on the floor. I picked it up and tapped on her shoulder and said she dropped the dollar and she said it was not hers. I told her I saw it fall when she pulled out her wallet, she snipped and took it like she was doing me a favor for taking the dollar. The teller at the register saw this and when the woman left she said boy she was rude. I told her if I hadn't seen it fall I would have kept the dollar and she said I should have probably kept it.

Another time I bought some stuff and it came out to a little under ten bucks. I gave the cashier a ten, it was the only cash I had on me and I kept the purchase under that so I didn't have to use the credit card. Well, she handed me a ten dollar bill and some change back and I told her she gave me the wrong change, I bought almost ten bucks worth and gave her a ten. She argued I was mistaken and I told her to look in the drawer, she stuck the ten on top of the twenties. She acted like I was the one who messed up, taking back the ten still thinking she had not messed up even though the drawer showed she did. I tell you, sometimes being honest is so difficult some times, someone gives you too much money back and you have to argue with them to take it back.

innocent. if she didnt leave the store with the goods she didnt steal anything.
and youre a lousy boyfriend.

originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: iTruthSeeker

Sounds like you have difficulty in believing what she says.
Break it off.
Find someone you can trust.

Agreed.

That's pretty much what I was thinking as I read the OP:

It's not a good sign when you periodically question whether or not your significant other is lying, and that's not healthy.

originally posted by: iTruthSeeker
My girlfriend phoned me saying she will be late, because she was detained by loss prevention at a Meijer grocery store for shoplifting.. Her claim is, it got hot in the store, so she took her coat off and placed it in the child seat, covering some items that were ultimately not paid for.

My argument is, I have worked in retail and have a best good buddy who was in "loss prevention" at a Target store back in 2003 or so... You CANNOT approach or accuse a person unless you are SURE they are guilty, for obvious reasons, lawsuits, etc...

She insists that she put the coat over top of the items on accident. What bothers me is, that happens a lot, and they MUST have seen more, they HAD to have seen more, in order for them to make any accusation, or else they are in deep trouble and open for lawsuits and all other sorts of trouble.

The outcome, is they let her go because the Police Officer had not shown up after 45 minutes or so, and that there is a 30 day period from today where they can still take action, (bench warrant, etc)

My question is, well your opinion? I do not know whether she is guilty or not, although I suspect she is, because of the tight protocols that need to be followed in order to prosecute. She is obviously mad as hell at me for not taking her side, but I tell her, from my experience how loss prevention and the law works, that they would not have made that "move" unless they were absolutely sure about it, in order to cover their own ass'es legally.

A part of me hopes she is guilty, as bad as that sounds, because things have been rocky from week one (of 4 years) pretty much. Another part of me loves her. Anyway... Lawyers, leo's, what say you?

Hmmm. Covered the child seat.......May I ask, did she forget the kid there since evidently the child seat was missing a kid?

originally posted by: Rikku
innocent. if she didnt leave the store with the goods she didnt steal anything.
and youre a lousy boyfriend.

i wouldnt go so far as to say lousy but i will say not awesome....
its your lady man....get her back.....

what were the items.

a reply to: rickymouse

im not as honest as you.

i once paid for something that cost under ten bucks with a ten...i got just over 20 back in change.
i kept my mouth shut

a reply to: iTruthSeeker

I used to work loss prevention when I was in college...this was many years ago but the true measure of intent is what were the items under the coat. If it was expensive drug or make-up items or high end meat, wine or cigarettes or items with a significant price.....she intended to steal the items. I am pretty pragmatic and have seen this technique used on everything from cosmetics to wine and cigarettes....believe what you are comfortable with but look at the cost of the items under that coat....follow the money.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
a reply to: rickymouse

im not as honest as you.

i once paid for something that cost under ten bucks with a ten...i got just over 20 back in change.
i kept my mouth shut

Two weeks ago, I went to the store and the bill was twenty dollars and eighteen cents. I gave her a fifty and said there is fifty and gave her the eighteen cents. She gave me the receipt and said thank you and I said where is my thirty bucks. She looked at the receipt and said You gave me a twenty, then it hit her, she entered twenty eighteen as payment even though she knew it was a fifty. She filed the fifty on top the twenties too. She shook her head and said sorry. I know things like that can happen, I was not upset and I told her I try to pay attention and mention that it is a bigger bill when I do those things. I think a lot of people should pay attention when they give a bigger bill plus the change, it was the second time for me and I understand people make mistakes. That is why I said clearly here is a fifty and I'll get you change. It can go both ways. Concentrate on the transaction and always remember that the best way to solve problems is to be prepared in advance. The first time I had this happen it took her looking in the drawer and the twenty was on top of the tens. It is safer not to give change with it if using a larger bill unless you say something.