Lost A Friend to Lies and Politics!

I'm having trouble thinking if this should even be posted, but this really set me off. A friend, in fact one that I would consider closer than others has decided to abandon the friendship on social media(facebook). I get that people here hate that site, but it's a way we had managed to keep in close contact when not in any viable proximity. And we did see each other relatively often in the recent months. We've survived all the election as friends though there were verbal fights at times with my friend being a Clinton supporter(he doesn't actually care about politics) and me a Trump supporter, not a master of politics though perhaps in comparison...

With him my behavior was different certainly from this site where I do regret some things I may have said and I apologize for that. Things get said in the heat in the moment. I'm sure everyone here is a good person despite disagreements. But now I apparently crossed some sort of invisible line where I spoke and spread the truth. Now a portion of it is opinion of course, but I back it with an argument albeit one is rather lazy, it was a facebook post, not a political essay. He had shared a meme(people are entirely too obsessed with the things) that suggested Trump is getting rid of the ACA, going through with the DAPL, and reinstated the Mexico City anti abortion law(stated in the meme, but referring to the elimination of the Mexico City Policy).

I would have gladly had an open debate on the topics, but instead he moved to delete the comment and block me and only said multiple times that I should learn the difference between friends and politics, even though he was the one who could not distinguish between the two by removing me.

Are people unable to handle opposing opinions that those who hold opposing opinions must be removed from their lives?! What is to be the fate of this world if so..Things could certainly patch up, but for now I don't wish to seek his company if that is his behavior...

My rant is really about the whole of it all, the inability to coexist.

originally posted by: ksiezyc

Are people unable to handle opposing opinions that those who hold opposing opinions must be removed from their lives?!

Increasingly..yes. It seems so. I have seen it all over social media. "You don't agree with me? I BLOCK YOU. " It's like a side effect of too much social media coupled with a passion for one's own belief on any given topic can give rise to some new type of oppositional defiant disorder. Slap another label on the interwebs...

originally posted by: ksiezyc
Are people unable to handle opposing opinions that those who hold opposing opinions must be removed from their lives?!

Yes, but God help you if you flip the tables on them in this instance because you'll be considered the "bigot."

Just let it go. People I went to high school with threatened to kill me because of things I wrote about Trump haha.

There's idiots everywhere. If someone gets that worked up its probably best to not be in contact with them anyway.

It happened to me as well.

I grew up very liberal in a longtime democrat family but always registered indepependant/unaffiliated. I was practically a hippy and lived in the heart of San Francisco where the Castro nmeets the Mission for over fifteen years.

The thing is, I still am a classical liberal and value liberty above all else. The current dem party has developed into an intolerant, anti-liberty authoritarian toxic mimic of it's former self.

I never voted for a republican in my life before Trump. Several life long friends have not spoken to me since.

True friends dont waste there time arguing over politics, just move on, or maybe be the bigger person and appologise.

People who insist on using Facebook for politics do so at their own risk. To me Facebook is a place to keep in touch with friends old and new--not discuss politics that I would never discuss in person. I don't want to be assaulted by political nonsense on that site, especially with superficial aphoristic posters purporting to tell the truth. If you do that, then I won't follow you. I won't 'defriend' you, but I simply don't want to argue and be reminded that one of my so-called friends is an idiot. I can do that here on ATS where the posters aren't my friends at all. So on Facebook I pledge to keep politics out of my posts. It's the only way I can tolerate it. I'm not there to discuss politics. I'm there to touch base and keep connected. You, apparently, demand debate. I don't blame your friend from cutting you off. Sounds like he did the right thing to me.

a reply to: AccessDenied

People are increasingly given the opportunity of seeing another point of view, but increasingly decide to deny that opportunity. It's especially an issue with young folk. Your assessment seems on point.

a reply to: burdman30ott6
Oh yes, I've been a called a racist despite showing absolutely no racism. I tend to sympathize with anyone that deserves sympathy regardless of any defining feature.

@underwerks Yes I've seen your thread. Like I said there, there will be idiots looking for a fight making up any reason. I know from experience.

@Deny Arrogance Never voted before in my life and have been liberal for the most of it. Only changed in the past year or two. I agree with the assessment of the Democratic party. Again I say that the young ones are the most radicalized. They have energy and are easily influenced. I fear for the nation and the world to an extent.

@dukeofjive6969669 perhaps.

@schuyler. I might have to take you up on that advice.

a reply to: ksiezyc

TBQH if that is the case they were never a friend, purely a close acquaintance. Forget it and move on.

In response to a previous poster regarding your willingness for open debate,



I'm pretty sure the Open Debate would have occurred Face to Face and not on FaceBook ........... in saying that ....... in the UK I see through Jeremy Kyle's programme (Jerry Springer in the morning) that is how the young ones of this country communicate now rather than open their mouths and use their vocal coords when living together, never mind as friends

a reply to: corblimeyguvnor

If face to face were possible that is when it would have been done. Open debate is indeed possible on digital platforms, though face to face is preferable.

a reply to: ksiezyc

previous post edited, i wasn't having a pop.

Sure debate is possible on social media ......... if you want to keep it between two then a PM would work rather than showing the other persons "friends" the full blown convo.

If you were blocked for a PM post by this person i am even more disappointed

I don't even bother talking politics with people anymore.
People just get mad at me.
They explain their position on something and I listen, understand, ect.
I (try to) explain my position and get yelled at because they are upset.
Its ridiculous.
All my "liberal" friends ALWAYS want to debate, but it ends up with them interrupting with accusations and getting way too angry before I can get a whole idea out of my mouth.

Now, I just try to get them to explain their positions and how they came to their conclusions....
Funny part, they struggle to do so and they end up getting mad at me for asking questions...
No wonder they get so upset when their challenged..
Their ideas are not their own
and believe me, they looove when I tell them that.

I was out having drinks at a friends house with him and another friend who were both football jocks in hs (this was around 2003-2004, just 5 years or less after graduation) and not very politically aware at all, and we got to discussing the Iraq War, and I spoke out against it, because of innocent people getting killed, like women and children. I wasnt' all that informed about it either, but I knew enough to know I was against it.

These two friends were of the mind that,
a) it's unpatriotic, nay, TREASONOUS, to Ever be against the US military "kickin ass" Anywhere in the world, for Any reason,
b) "they" killed our innocent women and children, so F them! (apparently, since the 911 hijackers were "Arabs", you can just roll the dice and pick an arab nation at random and begin bombing the sh* out of it, and that's good old justified revenge and we should feel good about "punishing the bad guys". Nevermind almost all of the Alleged "bad guys" were Saudi Arabian. I don't think a single one was Iraqi...
c)if you care about the lives of women and children in the MidEastern region, that's basically just the same as saying that you worship Osama Bin Laden.

Anyway, it got late, I went into a spare room and made a makeshift bed on the floor and passed out. I have no idea how much time had passed, but, I was woken up by these two drunken maniacs bursting in the door, shouting, and kicking me while I was lying down on the floor, barely awake, and calling me names like, I don't remember exactly but it was stuff like "terrorist!" "blah blah blah respect the Troops" etc... Of course, I never once said anything at all, good or bad, about the goodamned motherfreakin TROOPS... All I basically said was "we shouldn't be there" and my reason was "innocent people, like women and children being killed". It was a drunken discussion. I could have came up with better reasons.

So, they continued this beatdown for about a minute or so before leaving, feeling satisfied that they "did their duty to God, King and Country". It was such a weak beatdown, that I just got up and shut the door and went back to sleep.

a reply to: o0oTOPCATo0o

I lost many, many friends in the last several years over politics. Not even by being overbearing or forceful with my opinions, but asking questions and trying to understand perspectives and explain mine. Politics/Public Administration is what I earned my second degree in, so I am familiar with the topics, processes, etc, and can articulate well during a discussion or debate. I learned that people do not care at all for truth and logic, they just want a sounding board. I just don't bother debating people any more.

Oddly enough, several of the people I fought with before ended up becoming quite conservative later in the Obama years and ended up reaching out to me again to rekindle friendships. They even ended up voting Trump! Whoa, yuugggeee.

OP, probably the best thing to do would be to either leave them alone or if you're really bent on trying to save the relationship, send a private message explaining your politics have no bearing on your high opinion of them as a person and a friend, that you'd rather not let something like national politics get in the way of whatever it is you had. If they can't be an adult and even have dialogue with you, then you shouldn't bother pursuing a friendship.

I was advised many years ago *never discuss religion or politics with

family or friends you value*


That advice has served me well .....


Doesn't mean the odd thing isn't said .... but in depth ....NO NEVER.

Politics and religion. Always, doesn't matter who it is, tread carefully. When you realize the other person is a diehard in either direction, change the discussion, fast, or get ready for a fight.

When have you ever been able to convert another person's deep-seated beliefs? Never. Whether a dear close friend, acquaintance or foe. It'll never happen, never.

Best argument ender- "maybe you're right." Doesn't say you agree or disagree.

See, there is some learning that comes with age.

We live in a world where technology has rendered everything instantly disposable, people included. Why waste time on somebody that's dared to intellectually challenge you when you can get 100 likes from people you barely know to validate your existence and make you feel warm and fuzzy?