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Losing civilities not to offend Transgenders

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posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:27 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko

People that refuse to date others because they are sterile are known as assholes. His point is valid.

If someone is sterile and you love them, is the common decision to dump them? No, it's to make things work through other options like adoption if family is wanted.

I only mention this because people with this 'preference' only tend to try to inflict it on others as following it themselves is easy enough on it's own.




posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:27 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko

People that refuse to date others because they are sterile are known as assholes. His point is valid.

If someone is sterile and you love them, is the common decision to dump them? No, it's to make things work through other options like adoption if family is wanted.

I only mention this because people with this 'preference' only tend to try to inflict it on others as following it themselves is easy enough on it's own.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:28 PM
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a reply to: Skywatcher2011




The day I go out on a date and find out they were once a male.
.. Even if the nuts were changed...they are still a male in my view. PERIOD.


hopefully it doesnt get to that ie look for the adams apple



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:32 PM
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originally posted by: Aazadan
a reply to: Skywatcher2011

Would that matter? They're still the same person you liked enough to go out with 5 seconds prior.


A lot of people don't like artificial expiration dates on relationships. If there is a deal breaker like not being able to bare children (for whatever reason), it's not a bad idea to bring it up within the first couple of dates. Nobody is obligated to, of course, but it might save some heartache.

I lucked out with my boyfriend but he knew going into it that I couldn't have any children. And he likes the one I already have so there's also that.

But a lot of guys (and girls) absolutely need to have their own offspring (because of ego, compulsion, culture, tradition, etc).


ps edit - I thought you were responding about child baring but I just looked up the post you were responding to. Yeah, that's asshat sentiments he holds. I totally agree with your post in that regard. Sorry for the mix-up.
edit on 25-1-2017 by Abysha because: clarifying



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:34 PM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:43 PM
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a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

An Adam's apple isn't actually proof. Many ciswomen have pronounced Adam's apples. Women aren't actually lacking them, they just tend to be smaller due to less testosterone. In fact women who take testosterone eventually build up their Adam's Apple and develop deeper voices as a result.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:44 PM
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originally posted by: ROBOTNINJADRAGON
a reply to: ketsuko

People that refuse to date others because they are sterile are known as assholes. His point is valid.

If someone is sterile and you love them, is the common decision to dump them? No, it's to make things work through other options like adoption if family is wanted.

I only mention this because people with this 'preference' only tend to try to inflict it on others as following it themselves is easy enough on it's own.


In the case being mentioned, it seems that we find out right away that the person is transgender which means incompatible with having a family biologically.

Most people who end up discovering they are sterile don't do so until after they marry someone who also wants kids and then suddenly the kids don't happen. In other words, you don't typically know you are sterile while dating.
edit on 25-1-2017 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 06:47 PM
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originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
a reply to: Skywatcher2011




The day I go out on a date and find out they were once a male.
.. Even if the nuts were changed...they are still a male in my view. PERIOD.


hopefully it doesnt get to that ie look for the adams apple


Look at Ann Coulter and then tell me there are fool proof ways to determine if a woman was assigned male at birth. Besides, there's a procedure called a tracheal shave which gets rid of it.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 07:25 PM
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a reply to: Puppylove




Women aren't actually lacking them, they just tend to be smaller due to less testosterone. In fact women who take testosterone eventually build up their Adam's Apple and develop deeper voices as a result.


Thanks for that. I was hopefully trying to diffuse what I perceived as slight aggression from the poster - This is such a difficult area for me to involve myself with - as I am a "typical normal male", hold no moral judgement of peoples sexual identity, and try to "live and let live". I hope I haven't offended anyone in my ATS family.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 07:26 PM
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a reply to: Abysha

thanks for that



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 07:27 PM
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originally posted by: Puppylove
Before I knew who I was I was a major homophobe and such in school too. I tended to overcompensate to try and fit in, always failed, and never knew quite where my disconnect was at the time. Oddly once I knew who I was it actually became easier to fake being my physical gender as well

Conversely and to show how different we all are without meaning to detract from you own experience, I'll share my story here for those that don't already know. Born in 1955, I was never a "normal" boy, never tried to be one or was perceived to be one nor have I ever thought of myself in that way, ever. My gender wasn't something I discovered, questioned or grew to understand, it was just something that was. As I got older, because of my personality, interests and manner, I was perceived to be gay because I was born male bodied, however, had I been born female, who I was and the way I was would have never been questioned. By high school, I may have even been a bit homophobic myself because I was nothing like gay people and didn't particularly like being considered as such especially when it came to the bullying and extreme homophobic violence I was subject to.

By the 1970/71 school year and with the onset of natal puberty, I was in grave distress. I had also nearly been killed for being so different but I became even more "different". By the time I was 16/17, I was presenting androgynously femme which was unheard of at the time and more often than not, was gendered as female outside of the school environment where I was just a freak or an "it". I began hormones my senior year and upon graduation in 1973 with my parents and doctor's help, was able to change my name and gender markers on identification. There was no real transition or before and after as I was always and still am who I was. My life would have been a lot more simple if I could have lived as a girl from grade school onward but that sort of thing just didn't happen in the 1960's.

As a girl and young woman, I have never been discriminated against beyond the ways any other women in our patriarchal society were and trust me, sexism and misogyny was much more prevalent in the 1970's than it is today as I'm sure other women my age can attest. I was never misgendered or treated with disrespect because I was fortunate enough that people were unaware of my history or birth status. Until I was able to obtain SRS in 1977 at the age of 22, I would have much rather have died than for anyone to have known of my genital status. My school years were rough but those between 18 and 22 were the most difficult years of my life filled with drugs, alcohol, depression, anxiety and constant thoughts of suicide although I was outwardly successful, had a decent job and was able to support myself.

I've done well in life managing to live with gender dysphoria. I've done some amazing things and had some great adventures. I've had some great loves and friendships as well and have been married for 12 years and divorced to a great guy that is still one of my dearest friends.

So yes, my perspective on all these trans issues is different from most. I have lived my entire adult life as basically a cisgender (non-trans) woman and in my 62 years have seen many things but that doesn't mean I've forgotten how I got here or don't understand the issues faced by trans kids and people of today. I am still not open and out about my history. People don't know and I don't want them to know because it's pretty private and personal but I have opened up and shared these things on ATS (and ATS only) as a way of helping other people understand and to bring dialog and awareness to these issues. I am not an activist or a flag waver but consider myself more of an educator or teacher and at my age, probably a historian?

Indeed, I think all the non-binary and gender creative identities and made up pronouns are kind of silly but I also understand the need for expression and individuality and will treat people with dignity and respect for whatever they want to be. I do wish these folks would stop co-opting the trans label for legitimacy though. It does nothing but confuse the issue with identity politics which in turn has been turned into a political wedge. It's great that "real" trans people are more accepted today but there's still a long way to go.


originally posted by: Abysha

Look at Ann Coulter and then tell me there are fool proof ways to determine if a woman was assigned male at birth.

Or even this woman:


I can throw shade with the best of 'em!



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 07:58 PM
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a reply to: Freija

All my friends and interactions were with girls as a toddler up until I hit preschool. Then suddenly I was thrown in with the boys and had a whole bunch of expectations to fit in with them heaped upon me. I was a comfortable happy toddler with who I was. I can actually vaguely remember how I felt before preschool. I don't remember having any fear and confusion about who I was until then. I was just me, and everything was great. Then suddenly nothing made any sense any more, and my attempts to try and do what was expected of me ended in failure after failure. I distanced myself from girls at that age, cause I knew what I liked was wrong, and I was supposed to be like the boys. Who ended up never really accepting me either. I think before then, I knew who I was too, even at that age.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:13 PM
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a reply to: Golantrevize

The more these groups push, the more likely I am to go out of my way to say something they'd find offensive! I have no intention of catering to people who think the language needs to be rewritten to suit their fantasies.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:14 PM
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originally posted by: FamCore
a reply to: Golantrevize

It's getting crazy pretty much everywhere. I live in the states and my accountant friend who just began working for a college told me everyone in his department has to put down "their preferred gender, he or she or whatever in between" in the signature line of their emails.

Now every single email has this at the bottom.


I think I'd sign mine as "Master of the Universe" or something to that effect, just to be annoying!!



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:16 PM
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a reply to: LadyGreenEyes

And this reaction is why the deviants and SJW's frustrate normal transgendered. It's a reasonable frustration to have, and it harms us, because we're not the ones actually pushing for this crap, but are lumped in because this is all loudly claimed in our names.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:22 PM
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originally posted by: butcherguy

originally posted by: eletheia

originally posted by: Golantrevize
The SAAQ ( société d assurance automobile du Québec ), Government agency in charge of insurance and driving license of the province of Québec just put a new politic in place preventing all the employees to call customers Monsieur and Madame after a Man in the process of becoming a 'woman' was wrongfully called monsieur.



So just what are they supposed to call them?

If one is living to all intense and purposes as the gender they wish to be

it would be impolite to do anything else but call them as they present??




Political correctness madness at its best.


OR worst?

Some groups are pushing to have everyone called.... Ze, instead of 'he' or 'she'.

Ze: dictionary.com


Wow and it took them YEARS to come up with that. Back in the 90s they were talking he/she in books rather than a gender specific he or she. This was once again at the university.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:23 PM
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originally posted by: LadyGreenEyes

originally posted by: FamCore
a reply to: Golantrevize

It's getting crazy pretty much everywhere. I live in the states and my accountant friend who just began working for a college told me everyone in his department has to put down "their preferred gender, he or she or whatever in between" in the signature line of their emails.

Now every single email has this at the bottom.


I think I'd sign mine as "Master of the Universe" or something to that effect, just to be annoying!!



Yes or really stud like old school ladies man.......the kind of lover that the ladies dream about.



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:25 PM
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a reply to: Logarock

The most popular gender neutral pronouns are they/them/they're. It sounds a little weird to use singularly but are already common words and it's grammatically correct. Given a few more years that's what I imagine people will use. Many in the trans or gender fluid communities already prefer those too.
edit on 25-1-2017 by Aazadan because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:26 PM
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a reply to: Aazadan

Is what I use when I need gender neutral language. That or he/she.

This Ze crap and such can kiss my tranny ass.
edit on 1/25/2017 by Puppylove because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 25 2017 @ 08:36 PM
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a reply to: Golantrevize

Ridiculous. Thankfully, I have no such rules at work or in my personal life. If I had a customer with ambiguous gender, I would just avoid using a sex-based title of any sort. If you're a man in the process of a sex change to a woman and you look/sound like a dude, and your name is Bruce, however, I'll probably call you "Mr. ______" or throw out a "yes sir" - how would I know?

If, however, it's obvious you're in the process of making the change to a woman but aren't quite there and you go by "Larissa", I'm going to go with "ma'am" and "Ms."

Besides, if someone who is transitioning or simply ambiguous gets offended because you got their gender wrong, they're probably well aware it's hard to tell.

If it's important to them, then they can make the effort to either look like the gender they want to be called, or introduce themselves in such a way as to indicate. Example: "Nice to meet you, I'm Ms. Smith." - not "Hey buddy (friendly shoulder punch), I'm Pat!" and then get pissed off when the response is, "wassup dude?!"




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