A house divided.........mine.

I strongly suspect that as result of the election and the resulting lines drawn , divorce lawyers will be doing booming business as events further unfold tearing families apart .

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

Oh I get what you are saying.

There are several competing "paradigm worlds"
And they do not share the same inputs or parameters or rules. They are not going to.

It is important in a relationship such as the OP has, for him to smooth the waters by validating her intelligence and feelings based on her understanding of the situation, while not feeling obligated to agree.
Why? His team won. He can afford to be gracious.


He can set boundaries on her venting by listening but not letting her anger be applied to him personally. He is not Trump. He voted for Trump based on seeing things differently. He can simply say "maybe I was wrong to vote for him. Maybe everything you are
saying about him is true. I guess we will wait and
See what happens."

That way she feels heard, he hasn't said he
Was wrong, only that he might be wrong, and then he doesn't have to feel like he is the Trump Defender of the family. He could also say his decision regarding his vote didn't mean he was voting against Her. He was just seeing his own fears and goals from a wholly different perspective. Assure her that whatever happens he loves her and believes in her right to feel however she needs to right now. He also retains that right.

Maybe she needs to talk about some personal experiences that Trump's behavior and words have brought up for her. Most men are truly blind to what women have experienced at the hands of douchebaggery their whole lives. It can feel personal when that behavior is rewarded and brushed off.

Trump does nothing to help heal divisions at this point either. So if our OP wants peace, he's going to have to be a bigger man than Trump. (Not hard)

AB

PS: thank you for your kind and measured response.

but trump hasn`t done anything yet she is basing her hatred on what she predicts he will do,
since she is so sure of her abilities to predict the future make a deal with her.

tell her that if she can accurately pick next weeks powerball winning numbers that you will STFU about trump,but
if she can`t pick the winning numbers than she has to STFU about trump.

hopefully she will realize that she is getting emotional over things that may never happen and that she really can`t predict the future.

originally posted by: AboveBoard
How about this:

Here is a thought experiment. IF THIS IS HOW YOU SEE THINGS>>>HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? (Not saying you should agree with anything listed, but pretend this is how you frame our current reality for the sake of the experiment.)

You worked for years, fought for years to have the first step taken toward universal health care, equal pay for equal work, equal marriage rights and protections under the Constitution, clean energy to fight climate change and better the environment on many levels, and a whole long list of things that are very important to you and achieved a lot of major steps, imperfect as they were, despite the complete and total obnoxious obstruction, vilification, hatred, mocking, delegitimizing, etc., by the opposition.

Now you are watching the newly elected President and Ryan and McConnel gloat and give that really annoying smug smile over how they will make you and everything you believe in irrelevant. And will they do it in a respectful or even a thoughtful way? No.

They are coming in with a wrecking ball of irresponsible, destructive and incredibly short-sighted "repeal and ?" on the ACA because they didn't have the balls to make carefully thought out legislation (that the Reps were fully consulted about and given concessions regarding) work -- no, they used their power irresponsibly, and set the conditions THEMSELVES for the high premiums and did everything they could to kill it, no matter the good it did.

Why? Are they evil? Or is it just a way for them to get power? You don't know, all you know is that they are now preening like prom queens over their ability to set fire to everything you believe in.

They are holding up Goldman Sachs big bankers and all the people of the billionaire class who have NO idea what the hell they are doing in regards to social programs. So much for being against the folks that screwed us in 2008, right?

They've set things up nicely to be able to sell off National Forest land -- your land, my land, and who do you think will buy it?? The billionaire developers and mineral extractors and who will benefit? Not the people. Not the environment. Not anything you care about though some people might get some work out of it temporarily until the irreversible damage is done...

They are giving an oil tycoon the SOS job, a gift to Exxon and Putin.

They are like a tidal wave of darkness and ID swarming the government with lies and hubris.

And then there's the fact that he's a schoolyard bully, a womanizing, cheating mysoginistic jerk who rates women like items on a menu. And it is mind-blowing how all of this is somehow okay, somehow worthy of the Presidency and the Governing of our nation.

And how did it happen? With gerrymandering. With voter restrictions targeting with "surgical precision" minorities who tend to vote liberal. And the popular vote was won by a larger margin than many Presidencies by the woman who lost, by about 70,000 - 80,000 votes. Meanwhile, the new President acts like he has some sort of real mandate, and is in his own narcissistic world of self-aggrandizement and ego.

And maybe, just maybe, you've experience sexual assault, sexual harassment, and a hostile work environment or worse. Maybe this contributes to having your buttons pushed on this guy.

IF THAT IS HOW YOU SAW THINGS...


Tell me you wouldn't hate that? Tell me you wouldn't consider the smugness and gloating in the "punchable face" category?

All the rage and outright hatred toward Obama for 8 years on this site, and people suddenly don't get why people are being reactive to the Russian-sponsored new guy? Please.

Does that help?

- AB

This is why America is great. Your experiment sums it up. You see, what you worked so hard for and believe is the right thing and great for our country, many others see as wrong and don't agree with. What works for you doesn't work for others. And that is what an Election is for, so that together, we get to choose the path. Your side won in the past, and you were able to work towards these ideas you believe in, but, now, and in the past few elections, the other side rejected it and now they have won the right to push for what they believe would be best for this country. We accepted it when we lost, just as you have to accept it now. In two years, another election will come and you'll get another chance to turn it around, but for now, it is what it is. The actions of mass protest and allowing violence to take place simply undermines the beautiful system that has existed for over 200 years. And that is simply the wrong way.

a reply to: Tardacus

But he HAS. See my thought experiment above...

a reply to: Rezlooper

Yes. I understand that.

I also remember the heights of hyperbolic vindictiveness and hatred towards the accomplishments of the past 8 years as they unfolded.

It would be irrational not to expect backlash.

I appreciate your response! Thank you.


PS: Tea Party and "one term President". I think you will see a mirror of that and in far greater numbers.

originally posted by: AboveBoard
a reply to: Rezlooper

Yes. I understand that.

I also remember the heights of hyperbolic vindictiveness and hatred towards the accomplishments of the past 8 years as they unfolded.

It would be irrational not to expect backlash.

I appreciate your response! Thank you.

Yes, agreed. I am one who has totally disagreed with the past 8 years of management. But, I didn't perpetuate violence. I patiently waited for our chance. And, had we lost to Hillary. I would've accepted it, no matter how painfully hard, and said, "well, there goes the country, I am the minority and America has spoken." But, that didn't happen, thank God.

a reply to: AboveBoard

You say one-term president, and maybe that will be, but rest assured, if he even achieves a handful of his goals to bring back jobs, improve our economy and make our borders safer, help our veterans, fix our infrastructure and give education back to the locals, etc., he'll lock up a second term.

originally posted by: Rezlooper

originally posted by: AboveBoard
a reply to: Rezlooper

Yes. I understand that.

I also remember the heights of hyperbolic vindictiveness and hatred towards the accomplishments of the past 8 years as they unfolded.

It would be irrational not to expect backlash.

I appreciate your response! Thank you.

Yes, agreed. I am one who has totally disagreed with the past 8 years of management. But, I didn't perpetuate violence. I patiently waited for our chance. And, had we lost to Hillary. I would've accepted it, no matter how painfully hard, and said, "well, there goes the country, I am the minority and America has spoken." But, that didn't happen, thank God.

I'm not being violent either. A tiny fraction of folks are and not more so than your standard post-college football championship. These are young hot blooded
folks.

The women's march was not violent. I hope you won't paint all dissent with the same brush as the anarchy types who are behind the destruction.

a reply to: Rezlooper

I meant what McConnel and the Reps said about Obama. I'm not saying that.

With the redistricting and zero checks on the right, we will be lucky to win anything.

I'm a liberal Independent, btw.

originally posted by: Tardacus

but trump hasn`t done anything yet she is basing her hatred on what she predicts he will do,
since she is so sure of her abilities to predict the future make a deal with her.

tell her that if she can accurately pick next weeks powerball winning numbers that you will STFU about trump,but
if she can`t pick the winning numbers than she has to STFU about trump.

hopefully she will realize that she is getting emotional over things that may never happen and that she really can`t predict the future.

This has to be one of the best arguments I have ever read. lol Powerball.

originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: bobs_uruncle

Until she STFU???
Wow. I'd cry if I was your wife. Such disrespect.

Respect is earned. I'd tell you to stfu as well if you were in my house, or there's always the door ;-) I have physically thrown out trash from the common progressive right through to goverment agents. I have no use for the uninformed masses that can't do their own research, are incapable of critical thought and rely on the government trough for their intellectual sustenance. I would rather they just go on their way, happy in their ignorance, delusion and herd mentality and just leave me the f*** alone, if I want a liberals opinion in my house, I'll give them one ;-)

Cheers - Dave

a reply to: bobs_uruncle

Ah, I see the Breadwinner Excuse Card is being played. Does it still apply if his wife's the breadwinner between them? After all, he did say:

originally posted by: openyourmind1262
My wife graduated magna-cum laud, Made the deans list, has a degree in child psychology . Me, I graduated high school. Get this.....she's a accountant/comptroller. Go figure.a reply to: Saiker

So it's not outside the realm of possibility. Should she tell him to suck it up, if she wants any opinion then she'll give him one?

You really didn't think that through.

originally posted by: 3daysgone

originally posted by: Tardacus

but trump hasn`t done anything yet she is basing her hatred on what she predicts he will do,
since she is so sure of her abilities to predict the future make a deal with her.

tell her that if she can accurately pick next weeks powerball winning numbers that you will STFU about trump,but
if she can`t pick the winning numbers than she has to STFU about trump.

hopefully she will realize that she is getting emotional over things that may never happen and that she really can`t predict the future.

This has to be one of the best arguments I have ever read. lol Powerball.

That's because with liberals and progressives it's all about pre-crime. They bitch and moan about what might happen while not considering what is or did happen, as long as it aligns with their confirmation bias. It's a mental disorder, severe cognitive dissonance, they accept an existing dystopian reality as valid because it aligns to the dogma produced that generates their herd mentality.

What I don't understand, is that it's over, Trump is POTUS, good or bad, hopefully good. Now it's time to work together and make sure he does a good job. If he goes off the rails, then that's a different story. Remember the big club, the intel community? They have a way of turning things around, since they are way above 'ole Donald's pay grade.

Cheers - Dave

originally posted by: Nyiah
a reply to: bobs_uruncle

Ah, I see the Breadwinner Excuse Card is being played. Does it still apply if his wife's the breadwinner between them? After all, he did say:

originally posted by: openyourmind1262
My wife graduated magna-cum laud, Made the deans list, has a degree in child psychology . Me, I graduated high school. Get this.....she's a accountant/comptroller. Go figure.a reply to: Saiker

So it's not outside the realm of possibility. Should she tell him to suck it up, if she wants any opinion then she'll give him one?

You really didn't think that through.

Yeah, if she's a conservative rational thinker and he's a progressive pussy, yeah, tell him my way or the highway ;-) The contention and arguments are not worth the trouble. There are no winners in these kinds of arguments, only varying degrees of losers.

If it's get too much for me here, I can can just up and leave, give her half the assets and I'm out the door, living in Belize or Uraguay and she wants to live in Belize lol. Grab a couple of my guitars, some tools, some cloths and I'm gone ;-) Like I said, I'm a "don't really give a f*** kinda a guy," I've been condition to be like that, some of it in military trenches and some of it in marital trenches.

Cheers - Dave

originally posted by: AboveBoard

originally posted by: Rezlooper

originally posted by: AboveBoard
a reply to: Rezlooper

Yes. I understand that.

I also remember the heights of hyperbolic vindictiveness and hatred towards the accomplishments of the past 8 years as they unfolded.

It would be irrational not to expect backlash.

I appreciate your response! Thank you.

Yes, agreed. I am one who has totally disagreed with the past 8 years of management. But, I didn't perpetuate violence. I patiently waited for our chance. And, had we lost to Hillary. I would've accepted it, no matter how painfully hard, and said, "well, there goes the country, I am the minority and America has spoken." But, that didn't happen, thank God.

I'm not being violent either. A tiny fraction of folks are and not more so than your standard post-college football championship. These are young hot blooded
folks.

The women's march was not violent. I hope you won't paint all dissent with the same brush as the anarchy types who are behind the destruction.

No, I'm not, but I am seeing a lot of "actual" anger from the left, even in my own circles of friends and family. I've turned it all off now and won't engage in any discussions anymore because it matters none, we believe what we believe and I can't change their minds and they won't change mine. But, losing friendships over it is beyond ridiculous. There was never even a thought in past years of me unfriending anyone in my circle over their support of Obama. Never once.

a reply to: Rezlooper

The actions of mass protest and allowing violence to take place simply undermines the beautiful system that has existed for over 200 years. And that is simply the wrong way.

I don't always get to choose the company I keep, as I have to often travel into the belly of the beast, but I have not run across anyone yet, knock on wood, that has been so unreasonable, that I have had to restrict their company.

You and "AboveBoard are more the rule than the exception. Though online it doesn't seem like it, most people are not like it is being played by the media.

I have found the majority of Americans in the real world to be experiencing election fatigue. Many are curious, and a bit apprehensive of what is to come, but most seem to agree that any ill outcome is going to require all hands on deck. We may go back to bickering with each other after the fray, but most realize that we are going to have to work together to survive any calamities we may have to face.

Maybe on some level it is good that most folk leave the insanity in the virtual world and take off their tin foil caps, leave behind their online persona's, and put on their big girl and big boy panties when they return to the real world.

We just have to be careful that it doesn't follow you into the real world. Recently had a young girl become the victim of an assault because someone didn't realize that her "play" online persona was just play.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

It is pretty bad in the real world too. You are a fortunate one then. I am a Native American and yesterday, one of my fellow Natives, a friend, called me "white" because I am a Trump supporter. I just decided it wasn't worth arguing over anymore and let him a rant a bit. Unreal.

a reply to: AboveBoard

That`s still hating him not for anything that he has already done but for what he might do. trump can`t do anything by himself so she needs to spread the hate around to congress also.

It still all comes down to hating people for having different beliefs and for what they might do.

That`s not a very tolerant or unity creating attitude.

to quote mick jagger:
you can`t always get what you want

hating someone because they won`t do what you want, is childish and unproductive.

she might think she is an educated adult because she is over 18 years old and has a college degree but her actions prove that she is still a child.

originally posted by: Rezlooper
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

It is pretty bad in the real world too. You are a fortunate one then. I am a Native American and yesterday, one of my fellow Natives, a friend, called me "white" because I am a Trump supporter. I just decided it wasn't worth arguing over anymore and let him a rant a bit. Unreal.

I share a little more than your pain. My maternal grandmother was born on a Res in Arizona, and I run across people that say ridiculous and acerbic things on a regular basis.

I would not consider myself lucky, but I do try to keep all conversation civil. I have been fairly successful at allowing a person to vent, while keeping myself calm and strong. Being an old lady I have become quite experienced with displaying the nonthreatening, non-confrontational, "enough is enough", "time to stop" facial expression. It may be something that is basic and primordial in most women.

I don't have many friends and I think now I know why. My family, well.... let's just say my family is diverse and unique. We can't agree on one pizza topping or a single ice cream flavor so, we gave up on agreeing a long time ago. It is much easier to just accept them for who and what they are and to love them anyway.