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I Just Found Out You're Free!

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posted on Jan, 11 2017 @ 02:09 PM
a reply to: Night Star

It is a tragedy in a lot of ways, but it's dynamic.
It pushes me and compels me towards things I never would have bothered with prior.

I am in extremely difficult situations that are teaching me things about the world that I couldn't possibly know otherwise absent a first hand experience. I learned what living outside in the elements what about, I learned about all of these different types of people and saw their problems from a perspective where I had to deal with their problems for prolonged periods and could not just run away. There was no way to hide from it.

I am becoming industrious and discovering the depths of entrepreneurial ingenuity. I'm discovering opportunities and learning strategies to develop my own networking community and spread my good ideas to others and inspire them towards better things for themselves. It grows, I am carried by all of these positive interpersonal connections I create with people throughout the city of Nashville (and even here on ATS).

I am learning about all of the virtues and values that create a Good Life. How to focus on an agenda by setting goals and striving towards achieving them, from immediate goals to long term ones. How to adapt and readjust to problems.

I wanted to exhibit Spiritual Authority and be awesome, but God needed to beat the crap out of me first to teach me a few things about how that really works and what it's really about. That to increase my social standing I have to work hard at it and build it, and that I have to maintain my Piety despite all of the temptations to cut corners.

I'm increasingly easy to get along with, courteous, show manners, am candid and friendly. I want to be this, that's who I strive to be, I need to be that for me and my Happiness.

I have great pride in who I am and what I do and can do, and continually develop my sense of self-worth and esteem. I treat others with the sense of Dignity I expect others to respect me with.

I'm learning how to work hard and stay focused, though for me this is one of the most challenging aspects of my life because I am strongly drawn to comfort and simplicity, but my circumstances right now have no room for this so I'm forced to try my best and keep at it.

I am earnest and give my situation and other's situations great gravity so I am serious and solid. I am devoted to myself and others and work on respectfulness and my patriotism. I am learning what a sense of community is about, and what kind of community I want to see around myself and know others want to experience as well, one based on respect for dignity and integrity and founded upon Honor. A place where we can all create culture through expressing our strengths and talents and be appreciated for it.

In this crash course on humanity I am discovering Prudence and Wisdom. I know better now than ever the value of discretion and exercising foresight.

I see the benefits of cleanliness and not only giving the outward impression of a positive appearance but to also ensure that everything underneath it is healthy as well. Having a good diet and staying active and maintaining and improving my body matter to me now more than ever before, as well as seeking emotional and mental health.

I'm stern and in control of myself and how I react to others and what choices I make in reaction to the world around me. I choose to be Merciful and gentle and express Gracefulness. I refine myself, seek to learn more every day, become more civilized, and appreciate Art in all of it's forms - from shoes to literature or music or paintings, even the Art of Nature itself from flora to fauna to landscapes.

I want to be an Honest, respectable member of society and I refuse to pull anyone down with me, no, instead I am determined to pull everyone up with a helping hand as I raise my own standards and achieve betterment of myself. I am frugal and economical, yet I do not sacrifice my quality of life in the process.

I am courageous and strong and stick to my plans as best as I can giving myself a great sense of purpose and duty. I persevere with fortitude in the face of hardships and simply do not accept defeat. I'm a fighter and tough as nails.

I learned how to have incredible Hopes and a steadfast Faith in myself and in God and even the world around me despite all of these horrible negative things I am facing on a daily basis. Every time I fall down I get back up and hit harder and faster because I am going to WIN I just know it through every inch of my being.

I never let my Love die, I feed it and kindle it in this cold darkness I find myself lost within.

This woman may have caused me to go through pain and suffering for what seems like an entire lifetime, she was cruel and mean spirited towards me, but she has also led me to become who I am by rejecting me. She's central to who I am. I am a GENTLEMAN because of her! She forced me to be Great because I always felt like I was never good enough, like I always failed and was missing something. So I kept raising my standards and getting better at everything that it means to be a Full Human Being.

Of course I Love her, and of course I am going to Love others and share with them and care.
By giving to others in Charity these gifts I have been blessed with I find Cosmic Harmony and am in concordance with what God wanted for me and the flow of the Universal Spirit itself. I am confident and when I rejoice, as rare as it may be, it is deep and real, it is ecstatic! I am patient and endure the storms with no fear. The stress of trials, travails, and tribulations doesn't break me it makes me!

I can discover true Joy and can give thanks wholeheartedly in celebration.
I am a man of Justice, Liberty, and Peace.

I am a Nobleman and I have her to thank for it.
Of course I Love her, that's "Me".

God's a great conspirator, the Plan unfolds wonderfully.
Now I must go back to my suffering and toiling, lol.
I have Great things ahead and be sure I'll share the fruits with all of you.

God I Love all of you so much!

posted on Jan, 11 2017 @ 02:10 PM
My gift for all of you...

posted on Jan, 11 2017 @ 05:58 PM
Wow Flash, that was very inspiring! You might like this...

posted on Jan, 11 2017 @ 06:45 PM
a reply to: Night Star

I came up with the funniest sexy response but I definitely won't say it aloud.
Rules an all!

I know as a fact 99% of you would crack up except the one whom the OP is addressed to.
She'd slap me silly! Which would be just fine but, oh well!


posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 10:34 AM
Good morning sweet Sunshine...

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 10:44 AM
I called The Police on you!!
I asked em to play us a song.

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 10:53 AM
a reply to: muzzleflash

Such an interesting journey you share with us... quite fascinating to read, as well as beautiful and inspiring as others have said.

The flower is simple, yet it is still beautiful..seems you have found out how to enjoy the simpler things in life and find the beauty within them... so, I thought it would be a fitting gift to give to sharing your thoughts here in this thread have been quite a gift for those of us who are following it.

Wish you well on your journey and look forward to reading more....

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 10:56 AM
Hey Honey...

Wanna make my day?

Please go and change your Facebook profile pic.
Maybe even give a thumbs up in it or something.

We will keep this all Above Top Secret and no one will ever know.
Promise on my Honor.

Cmon do it.
This will be so fun!

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 11:07 AM
a reply to: blend57

Oh I Love Daisies!
Thank you Blend, I have a purple China Aster for you...

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 03:16 PM
Sweetheart, I'll be patient, I understand you got work and all that today.
You do still have a job right?

Anyways, just change the profile pic please.

I promise you I will not use it against you in any way.
I knew you were coming to watch me last year, I saw you walk right up to me several times.
I know it was you.

I didn't ever mention it to anyone except now to you.

Please give me a sign.
I don't wanna be depressed about this anymore.
Cure me.

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 04:32 PM
I feel so horrible right now.
It's like I can lose all my focus and faith in just a few minutes and become overwhelmed with this negativity.

It's a nothingness inside, a black hole that sucks me into pure miserable depression.

Of course it's based on circumstances. I have really high expectations from God.

I'm so unhappy I just wanna lay down somewhere and cry my eyes out all night.

I have 1000 things to say about that.
I'm so disappointed.

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 05:47 PM
A lot of really bad things just happened and are happening to me right now.

I wonder if this is the tipping point?
It almost is if it isn't.

I'm completely devestated.
It's like no matter how hard I try or how good I do nothing works for me. Everything just keeps getting worse.

I'm not even going to describe my thoughts or feelings. It's like every important thing in my life went to hell in under two hours.

I'm cursed. I know it now.
Why would God do this....

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 09:28 PM
Ok so what have I learned?

That I can be a complete idiot, that I jump to conclusions far too often, that I'm impatient and keep expecting certain things to happen which aren't and might take longer or may never happen.

That I have an emotional problem where it's usually a rollercoaster of ups and downs in the extreme, or maybe I'm so naturally melodramatic it seems extreme to me.

It's not an illness because this is based on circumstances, especially my court battles which I keep losing over and over. I'm really frustrated and getting worn out.

My economic situation sucks. That's a huge pain.

Until they make a pill that magically wins my cases, fills my pockets with $$$, and fixes my family I'm not interested.

I'm saying that because everyone generally seems so inept with dealing with complicated life problems that they give up and suggest takes meds. Because you know if you melt your brain on drugs you'll stop caring so much about all these things.

Well dammit, I want a good life.
Drugs ain't what I want.

I want no more legal bs, a nice home and car, and a family to love with. Nothing short of this is acceptable and I'll NEVER GIVE UP.

im gonna fight till my last breath. I am not a punching bag! I do not accept verbal or legal abuse! I do not accept being a complete failure with an empty bank account! I just do not can not and will never accept it.

I'm gonna step up my game to a whole new level now. I'm opening new fronts in the war. No more rest or relaxation. No more smiles. I will now be brutal. I am not cool with this and my last drop of kindness has been spent.

Every man has limits. Mine are now breached.
It's on now.

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 09:48 PM
I am in a dispute over a document and a video tape that prove a judge violated rule 10 of the TRSC.

They are so terrified of what I can do if I get this in the designated record that they are railroading me in the most childish lame ways which are themselves new lists of violations of rule 10 (judicial ethics).

This damned document has been fought over for 4+ months now and we are stuck cuz neither side will budge.

It's in the least important case I'm fighting, purely over the principle of the thing, in Equity a type of civil law cuz Ms Lady needed to sue me for asking the governor of TN to veto her bill she wanted passed to criminalize me writing my book.

It's a really long story, but this document, they railroaded me again today. So now I gotta file in 4 seperate courts, the circuit the appeals the Supreme and I'm gonna sue in Federal circuit. All over this piece of evidence!!

I've got a minimum of 8 or 9 other cases going on to fight.

This woman opened Pandora's Hell of legal problems on me.

Don't tell me to let it go.
Tell them to let it go and pay up $$$ cuz they owe me for this.

I'm so pissed.

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 11:02 PM
I am so genuinely sorry to this woman for screwing up her life but I only wanted to reveal the truth to her, love her, and be her best friend.

What ended up happening is I was obliterated and she hit a bump in the road (me).

I'm sorry I said I'd file to have her investigated for violating her therapist ethics and seeking to have her license revoked. I thought it sounded justified and realistic enough to cause her to capitulate and just APOLOGIZE for leading me on and causing my marriage and family to shatter. All I wanted was compassion, but no, hell no. I got unmerciful hell for daring challenge her high and mighty social position in a multi-million company as it's co-founder.

I am so unbelievably sorry but I just don't see how I'd make better choices even if I could go back in time and try this over and over again like Groundhog Day - one of our favorite films btw.

But yeah, I'd screw this up every time because I had to make judgment calls based on morality. I'd choose the decisions I saw as morally correct over and over. It's a mistake I cannot escape.

But cmon, almost 10 cases of which just this one lil equity injunction has already turned into a dozen hearings, 20+ doc filings amounting to literally me writing over 350 pages of arguments so far?? And I lost (wrongly) every step of the way though I should have won immediately in the first hearing and I technically won every single step afterwards? Gimme a # break!!!

Now just that case has spawned into the mythical hydra, every head I lop off more sprout? All of these 8 or 9 cases are hydras, and I'm going nuts!!!

This is all because I said I Love U and demanded she say "I don't Love you Jason" as my one and only requirement to stop pursuing her hand in marriage. She cost me my wife n kids, I cost her her husband, and she absolutely refuses to say she doesn't Love me so therefore we're apparently destined for this.

I keep wanting to sue her and instead of money I'll ask for her to marry me (which makes this incredibly romantic in a weird way). Look I won't do that but it sounds really interesting and cool and exciting.

All she has to do is say she does not love me. She knows this for sure would end all of this. She refuses to say it. Why?

Well I thought hey what the hell, she loves me but is trapped in an abusive marriage I'll come to the rescue cuz we're soulmates.

All the million legal hydra wars are almost worth it. Losing everything for her is almost worth it. I am so passionate and religious about this insanity.

I wanted to write a book about it now the story is getting good.

What sucks though is that this legal gibberish has gone so far that, since I have to play exactly by the law books to perfect details, I am going to have to destroy peoples careers over all this just to win. It's not my fault they are corrupt heartless psychopathic criminals that hate our Constitution. I keep giving everyone chances to end this now with no repercussions.

But now that I'm getting very pissed and tire of these petty games I think the kid gloves are off and the iron gauntlets are going to be necessary.

I'm going to have no choice but to open investigations with at minimum 7 committees, request criminal charges be filed (but I will not file them personally, liability reasons), I will publicize all my evidence proving how insanely corrupt they are, I will sue everyone, bla bla bla.

In other words, I'll be in 100 courts for the rest of my life. This is a freaking career now.

There's no way to always lose. I'm gonna win somewhere eventually. That's inevitable.

Look what she did to me. I've lost it. I lost.
She defeated me. I won every argument, every last one, but she won the war. All because of love.

And really, I'm proud of her. Her tons of $ and social status is very impressive when viewed from this vantage point.

But what we're doing here is getting more and more dangerous. Her or I, or both, could end up in prison or worse. It's spiralling downwards. I can't stop it I can only chop more heads off the hydra. That's all I can do.

She has the torch. She can slay the hydra but she must act soon. She's not even participating in any of these lawsuits currently. She needs to. She needs to walk in and say "Look! Jason's had enough! This is going to far he doesn't deserve this! End it now, throw it all out, let him go home to see his kids!"

Thats all she's gotta do.
The Hydra's eating me alive.

I met my match and it's her. The only person in the world tgat can humble n humiliate my ultra arrogant perfectionist stubborn ass.

Does it make more sense now?

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 11:13 PM
The first time I saw her in the mid 90s when we were kids I fell into infinite love.

We talked on the phone countless hours, I went over to her house, gave her flowers and other gifts, she even came to talk to me in class instead of me approaching her. I was afraid to cuz Im shy and shes everything.

We were friends.
I screwed it up over and over and she was so cool to let me keep trying.

I know she didn't mean to create a hydra. She thought I'd get a slap on the wrist as payback for when I got her in trouble in 98, and that'd be it. That slap became a mega monster because the government is retarded beyond comprehension and when you pit me vs the govt we go to war as Im Captain Patriot extreme and they are Nazi tyrants in the extreme.And I'll win this war for our children and grandchildrens future freedom as that's my duty as an American citizen.

Immovable object meet irresistible force!

posted on Jan, 12 2017 @ 11:59 PM
a reply to: muzzleflash

You need to turn your life into a book and I know it would be a best seller. You have one amazing story. If there is anything I can help you with let me know Jason.

Peace to you and I hope you win your battles.

posted on Jan, 13 2017 @ 08:56 AM

originally posted by: Jdennis10
a reply to: muzzleflash

You need to turn your life into a book and I know it would be a best seller. You have one amazing story. If there is anything I can help you with let me know Jason.

Peace to you and I hope you win your battles.

I keep feeling like I'll never have a chance to write it because I'm so embroiled into all of this madness and I simply will never have time or energy to do so.

Things are getting worse, not better, in terms of how much time every day I need to devote towards fighting the state.

posted on Jan, 13 2017 @ 09:05 AM
a reply to: muzzleflash

You have a gift and I hope you win in court. I know judges are not on the side of "we the people." I had a court case and everything was on my side and the judge did not care and I lost my case.

posted on Jan, 13 2017 @ 09:38 AM

originally posted by: Jdennis10
a reply to: muzzleflash

You have a gift and I hope you win in court. I know judges are not on the side of "we the people." I had a court case and everything was on my side and the judge did not care and I lost my case.

I actually don't really care about the courts abuse of me.
I'm just wrestling them because my life has no more purpose or value and all I know is being abused and taken advantage of.

I care about the people I Love and my broken relationships with them.
All I want is to fix it and make it better, but I don't think that's on the table for me in life right now.

I'm really feeling I should just surrender and go find a nice quiet place to deal with my heartbreak.
I'm tired of fighting. I never liked it ever, not one minute of it. It feels so horrible and wrong.
I only fight because the options I see are so limited and fighting is the only one I can live with.

An acquaintance I speak to a few times a week, I tried to explain my story because he could tell I was sad and I couldn't get through to him. He just rejected ANY hope I had at ever winning. He kept shooting me down saying basically I need to take it up the rear no matter how unfair "I think it is" cuz "I'm always wrong if the govt says you're wrong". Which I just can't accept it, I never said I did it all correct, I know I made mistakes, but no one's perfect and I know as a fact this thing has gone way overboard and they need to drop it so I can leave and go find my life wherever it is.

I became so frustrated with him, I don't wanna even talk to him about it. I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE OMFG! It's maddening. Why can't someone on this planet just stop JUDGING ME when they don't know anything about this??? It's like I'm automatically guilty though I was never convicted of anything ever in my whole life, I'm guilty because someone accused me of something which morphed and mutated into this ultra-monster that has no bearing on reality anymore.

Last thing I told that guy was "I'm really sorry for whatever happened in your life and all of the things that went wrong. You deserve way better than that and I do care about you."

The difference between him and me? He's a quitter and gives up. He decided to accept defeat and move on as a hollow shell of whatever he dreamed he might be yet will never come because he gave up. I am fighting to prevent that from happening to me. That's the last thing I want to be, a failure that gave up and accepted failure. No I want to try and try and try and try and try and try until I die! I'll get this light bulb working damit, I just know it.

God it's so hard. I'm in tears right now because I'm devastated and reeling from the impact of my own realizations of reality. Just getting up today was near impossible. I just want to sleep for eternity. This life has become nothing but burdens and suffering, I feel abused and mistreated all the time from nearly all directions.

I'll NEVER be a "Victim", I'm a "Victor". I'm so deeply upset about all of it.

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