a reply to: savemebarry
Now I realize I don't know your situation or any of the details, but I want to ask some questions and make suggestions (which you should at least
think about and devise your own unique personal approach to a solution).
Have you told her how you feel?
If not, why not?
I think you should tell her about your Love for her.
In fact, I don't think just telling her face to face is good enough, there are too many variables involved and you will probably (as we all tend to
do) say things wrong.
I think you should commit to writing her a Love letter and expound upon all of this in detail. If it has to be 20 pages long so be it, she will read
all of it. For me personally I needed to write hundreds of pages at length and still want to write hundreds more pages to explain to my Love how I
feel about all of this.
If you write it down you can edit it and make it exactly the way you want it said. You should organize it and cover each relevant topic (like the
past, present, and future). Make it as big as necessary to cover everything. This way you can give her the letter and some flowers or whatever and let
her mull it over and then you'll just play the waiting game to see what happens.
Make sure to remind her that you sincerely value your friendship and if she's not into it you'll drop it and just stay friends and you'll ignore it so
it doesn't screw your friendship up. That's important to distinguish I'd think. That way you can buy more time just in case she responds negatively to
Now - don't get me wrong here - I'm not saying do this. I'm saying that's what I think you ought to consider doing. If you feel like there are better
approaches than take those. This is all up to you. What you feel is best will be best.
But under no circumstances should you sit back and let all the other guys get her while you sit back crying. # that! No way! This is just unacceptable
and I cannot bear to think you'd allow this. In fact my natural reaction is to want to slap you around till you stop letting this slide and commit to
a war for her hand.
If you honestly think you're in Love with her like this, than you must also realize that you're going to be the best man for her as well (because you
can ensure she's treated right and gets the Love she deserves so she can be Happy). If you think that you are not good enough for her, well I guess
you don't Love her that much.
Having a true Love for someone is extremely rare and probably a once in a lifetime thing. That means something. You need to go to the drawing board
and develop a warplan. You need to put your warpaint on and begin fighting the battles.
You are going to lose some ok? That's part of war, you cannot win them all. But if you approach this strategically you have a chance of winning no
matter how bad the odds are stacked against you. You have got to fight for this, bottom line. Stop letting the world dominate you - and instead face
the odds and don't surrender easily.
Even if this blows up in your face (which it probably will over and over) you gotta think through it and understand that there is always an
opportunity to reach final victory. You need God to help too.
God is the master of our Hearts and God decides who falls in Love with who, God directs and guides this. That free will stuff is an illusion, because
God is Almighty. That means God is the final say on virtually everything. God "allowing" this or that is actually God planning that this or that
happens and in fact scripted it before the Universe was even born. God tells Cupid-Eros where to fire the arrows ok?
I found out over and over again that I have control over only one thing - Me and my thoughts/reactions - and even then I'm unsure if God controls that
too (which I'm pretty sure God controls me 100% including writing this for you right now word for word). You can only "influence" things around you,
so get to influencing and creating action. Start pushing the dominoes over and see what happens. Living a life of regret and remorse is NOT ALLOWED!
You MUST ACT.
I don't know what you've done, I don't know any of the details - only you know this stuff - so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt and figure
out your own directions based off what your Heart says. Do not let this woman slip away without you giving it your best shots (plural). Try everything
you think is best, invest years into it if that's what it takes.
If you really truly Love her with all of your Heart and Soul, you'll get up, dust off, and get back into the ring and fight like a madman (who is
madly in Love).
Why are you even alive ? Why are we here ? What's the point to all of this ?
Cmon man!!! Give her your Heart!
Saying "I Love you" is will define your Life - your entire Life till the day you die.
Scream it from the mountain tops man! Go ALL OUT, no holds barred.
All is fair in Love and War.
Follow the Spirit,
Listen to your Heart,
and Talk to God.
Then Fight for this.
((( Keep in mind this is how I personally approach this issue and you can take from it what you need and add your own unique flair and do this YOUR
WAY - not MY WAY - and handle this the way YOU know best! )))