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Your worst one liner

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posted on Jan, 7 2017 @ 11:22 PM
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And one by my good self.

"I recently had a testicle removed thanks to Cancer, I have still got more bollocks than 95% of the men on ATS"






posted on Feb, 3 2017 @ 11:05 AM
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a reply to: Dinnedwiththedevil

That was a good one.



posted on Feb, 3 2017 @ 11:07 AM
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a reply to: enlightenedservant

I'm glad that made you smile


Sometimes the Universe shifts it's attention towards us right when we need it.



posted on Feb, 4 2017 @ 09:16 AM
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True Story:

An a acquaintance of mine commented that he got three new books at Christmas.
I asked him if he got them all colored yet.



posted on Feb, 4 2017 @ 11:00 AM
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If You Took A Wrong Turn In Life... Don't Fret. It Was Us Who Put It There!



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 05:52 AM
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I can't wait 'til tomorrow... I get better looking everyday




posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 06:20 AM
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When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 06:30 AM
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Is that a mirror in your pants?
I can see myself in them tonight



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 06:34 AM
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What was Forrest Gump's email password? "1forrest1"



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 06:47 AM
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I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 06:49 AM
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Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday. (snicker)

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

I put the 'Fun' in DysFunctional.



posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 02:06 PM
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originally posted by: Neith
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.



When I get naked at night, the light usually get’s turned off…


- JC



posted on Mar, 11 2017 @ 02:41 AM
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I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...

If Mayans could predict the future, why didn't they predict their extinction?

Oh... I didn't tell you... Then It must be none of your business...



posted on Mar, 11 2017 @ 08:58 PM
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My Tank or Yours?



posted on Apr, 21 2017 @ 08:58 AM
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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.




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