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originally posted by: goou111
originally posted by: isaanbkk
Dont long for someone elses money.
Obviously it came off wrong. I have never wanted anything from them,never.. I have been on my own since I was 17 years old. I have never asked them or anyone else for anything .
I have a job, own a home , have raised 2 kids, and now ave a grandkid. I am just irritated that on their own volition they have never just done something for me or my kids. so I vented.
originally posted by: seentoomuch
What did you give them this Christmas and past Christmas's? Did you even send them a card? Exchanging gifts is the tradition. Have you invited them to family events such as christenings? Have you included them in anything? College graduation cards? Wedding invites? How are they supposed to know anything about you if they are not kept up with these notices. For all you know they think you are stiffing them for not inviting them or noticing them when these special moments occur.
originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: goou111
I really hope you re-read your OP when you are not inebriated, and that you really think about your words.
It would be very easy for me to assume the worst about your wealthy aunt, having seen the worst from my own very wealthy family members, one of whom can pinch a penny so hard a booger pops out of Abe's nose...
But what struck me in your OP is that you seem to have absolutely no relationship with your aunt, and you make no mention of trying to have a relationship with your aunt. If you haven't seen her since you were 15 years old, and you are now old enough to have a grandchild, I'm left wondering what effort you made to be "family"... or if you made any effort at all. Because it seems to me that if you had made any such effort, that would have been very relevant to your rant.
In other words, I see absolutely no regard for your aunt as a person or someone you love and respect and want to have a close relationship with... you just want her money. Where's the love for her? How would you feel if the situation were reversed? What if your mother was the fabulously wealthy one, and it was your cousins who wanted her money after blowing her off for years?
When my "second mother" passed a couple years ago, I received a couple baubles. I don't believe they were actually willed to me, but that her children wanted me to have something to remember her by. I could probably sell them for a pretty penny, but I won't. The sentimental value is worth far more than their market value. Of all my brothers and sisters, I was the only one who had maintained any kind of relationship with her. When she was dying, I was the only one in contact with her children. And yet my sister, also quite wealthy, and also her God-daughter, was quite bent out of shape about the fact that she got nothing. Under the circumstances, my sister had no reason to expect a darn thing, and I suspect that she is really more upset that I got something and she didn't, which means it's just jealousy and entitlement... which is really funny because my sister could buy and sell me in a New York minute!
In the end, it's all about the love.... for HER. Not her money. I hope you really think about that for your sake -- no one else's.
originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
Ahhhh, the RAS (Rich Aunt Syndrome) at work again. The sense of entitlement is an interesting phenomenon. Not suggesting you have a sense of entitlement, but it does happen.
This thread is interesting to me because it made me think about perspective. Things are not always what they seem.
In my case, the tables are somewhat reversed. We're not fabulously wealthy by any means, and certainly not Richey Rich wealthy, but my wife and I have been successful in our lives and endeavors.
I have two nephews (my sister's children) who apparently have copped a bit of an attitude (from their mom, my sister) because we don't pave their future with gold. They grew up with golden spoons in their mouths. Their dad's family was very wealthy. However, that gravy-train ended when they were in their early to mid twenties. (long story) The playboy life was no longer paying the bills and they had to go out and get jobs like everyone else. That didn't sit very well with their mom (my sister) I guess.
I had always been the black-sheep of the family. If there was a hard way to do something, that's the way I would wind up doing it usually. My sister (the middle child, I'm the youngest) always prided herself in being the rebellious one. I never really cared one way or the other, but to her it was a badge of honor. What she didn't see was that while she thought she was the "rebel" she'd really always had everything in her life given to her on a silver platter (by my parents and her in-laws)...and she passed this entitlement mentality on to her kids (my nephews). When all that ended (divorces, deaths, medical expenses, etc.), when the money ran out, she was standing there with her hand out waiting for someone to give her stuff. When it didn't come she took it personal. There was nothing personal about it, there was just no more money to give.
For our part, my wife and I never took any hand-outs. Me, being the hard-head that I am, and my wife being as shrewd as she is, were long gone (financially and geographically) before ever becoming part of that lifestyle. So then, when the chickens come home to roost, and reality set in we were free from all the fallout and baggage associated with maintaining an unsustainable lifestyle.
Money and sense of entitlement are strange bedfellows. To those with a sense of entitlement there is absolutely no care where the money comes from, just so long as it keeps coming. When one spigot shuts off...they just go looking for another spigot, regardless of who or where.
So now, I guess we're the 'bad guys' for being somewhat successful independent of the whole gravy-train life. And, when the "Eye of Mordor" swings around searching for money there's actually resentment that we just don't give away land and monies to those who feel entitled to it (for what reason I have no idea...other than it exists).
I would love a relationship with them again of course, it might be selfish but that would be pretty cool.