Target of cyberbullying

a reply to: Etoile

First things first - As someone on Facebook that likes to control their content, you may want to consider doing the following:

1. Edit you privacy settings - Set up your account so that either:
-Only people you are close to can see your statuses, posts, content.
OR
-Only certain people are not allowed to see your posts.

2. Utilize the block feature. I have no shame in blocking someone, especially if I don't want to deal with them. Blocking them will prevent them from seeing anything you do, even if they are a "friend of a friend".

3. It goes without saying, but do not add anyone you are not familiar with! Set up a brand new account, and only add the people you 110% trust.

4. Let them talk behind the scenes, and then document everything. Documentation is important to proving your case. If you are still in school (middle school or high school), give all documentation over to the counselor/principal. If you are an adult, you might even be able to get away with giving it to a police officer (I don't know, as I...have my own ways of dealing with a cyber bully...It's never gotten to the police level).

5. Watch what you post - people these days are sensitive. If you decide to post something someone takes offense with, explain as best you can in the comments on your post to avoid confusion. If someone sends out a meme with a part of your post, take a screen capture (Prt sc button) and send that photo to all that are curious (or make a public post), showing the original post.

6. Facebook should have some kind of mod support for bullying. But again, make sure you have evidence to back you up, in the form of screen captures, chat logs, and who is involved.

-fossilera

a reply to: Etoile

was it Mommy wars?

Yeah, facebook is full of creeps..

Right D. lmao

I guess you guys missed the part where this person and their fb page followers sent me death threats, harassed anyone who was on my friend list and faked a conversation with a real life close friend of mine and is trying to ruin my reputation. When I reactivated my fb account, I saw all the hateful messages and I was done. I DID close my fb account and I am never going back. I have never been cyber bullied before and I used to share the same thoughts as to how could anyone let words on a screen dictate to how I feel in real life....but the point you guys are missing, they sent threatening/hateful messages to everyone I knew irl. Took screen shots of things I said and took it out of context and sent it to everyone I knew and because fb disabled my account, they continued on sending these threats/hateful words to my family trying to reach me. Fb wouldn't help and my family and friends just kept blocking all the people who sent them messages but it never stopped. It went on for days till they just all deactivated their accounts. So think about that before you just say, "it's only words on a screen. you're too thin-skinned." You will keep thinking that till it happens to you.

originally posted by: RAY1990
a reply to: Etoile

You've kept all the evidence yeah?

It's harassment, it's a criminal matter. Where do you live? It's worth looking up what constitutes as harassment in your nation.

Also the message sent to family/friends what was said, threats of any kind?

Unfortunately, I only kept what happened after everything had taken place. =0(

originally posted by: RAY1990
a reply to: Etoile

You've kept all the evidence yeah?

It's harassment, it's a criminal matter. Where do you live? It's worth looking up what constitutes as harassment in your nation.

Also the message sent to family/friends what was said, threats of any kind?

I reside in GA. I tried to look up if there were any laws pertaining to something like this and I found nothing.

Sorry this happened to you. Life can be ugly sometimes and there are no answers. Hiding behind a computer to attack others is a sign of a pretty sick mind. FB is just empowering the sick and evil. I'd say just stay away from FB.

a reply to: Etoile

Cyber-bullying has always baffled me. Are they coming to your house and beating you up? No? Then the answer seems ridiculously simple. Get off the internet. Delete your account and poof! No more bullies. Right?

I am not a proponent of bullying, but honestly, unless you're a kid, claiming to be the victim of bullying on the internet just sounds weak and silly to me. Adults walk away from that stupidity.

Report it. Block the people causing you so much online angst. These people thrive on make-believe drama. It's like oxygen to them. So stop buying into it and suffocate the trolls. It is really just that simple. There is a whole real, live world out there where people who don't have the balls to say things to your face don't hang out...because they're too busy hiding behind a screen pretending to be cyber-important. Seriously, try it.

a reply to: Etoile

There will be...
statelaws.findlaw.com...

We don't know what was said, so we can't know if it constitutes as harassment.

As others have said though it isn't hard to change your privacy settings so nobody can message you other than friends, they can only request a conversation.

Much more can be done too like blocking.

originally posted by: schuyler

A basic rule of thumb is that nobody is really your friend on the Internet. The "relationships" you make on a place like ATS are superficial and ephemeral.

Rules are made to be broken schuyler. Sometimes people form bonds online that they take offline. It happens. Your logic here sounds like "You're born, you live and then you die......WHAT'S THE POINT!" You have always been the voice of reason for as long as I can remember on this site, but you sound pretty jaded there. And here. v

They can disappear at the stroke of a switch. It's happened to me and perhaps some of you.

And the truth shall set you free! LOL

A site suddenly goes down never to reappear, and you thought it was the basis of an "Internet community." But it wasn't. One guy could simply grow tired of "hosting" all this "community" and simply turn it off with little or no explanation. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if it happened right here on ATS some day.

You here that Simon? You're a flight of fancy. You mean nothing.

Of course we posters do not have the details, but the only thing keeping this place going is profit, that word most of us learn to hate. And if that profit is rather thin, then ATS is living on the edge. This place is not online to be charitable. And neither is Facebook.

Okay, you seem to have gone completely off the rails with that one schuyler. Name one facet of life that isn't about money. Just one. I'll wait.

If what you were trying to tell the OP was to grow a pair and grow up, just say it. Don't try to get your point across through a personal bias, you know better than that. I get it though, if you're offended by something someone says on the internet, you're ill prepared for the real world. You sound like me in that you grew up without the Google machine. We know the difference schuyler.....kids these days don't. Be nice.



Apologies to all my offline stalkers.......Joe has to get back to work.

.........Really? I guess nobody here reads what I have said. People were blocked and before I could change my privacy settings on my friend list, my fb account was disabled. There was nothing I could do. They went on other accounts to harass my friends and I. Do I have to keep repeating the same thing because you guys can't comprehend what I type?

...Apparently....yes, I do.

Words can't hurt when said on a screen but when they start to affect your reputation which links to your real life, they can. I'm sorry some of you don't get it. I can't help you.

originally posted by: RAY1990
a reply to: Etoile

There will be...
statelaws.findlaw.com...

We don't know what was said, so we can't know if it constitutes as harassment.

As others have said though it isn't hard to change your privacy settings so nobody can message you other than friends, they can only request a conversation.

Much more can be done too like blocking.

Thank you. At least you added something to help instead of telling me to, "grow up."

originally posted by: tigertatzen
a reply to: Etoile

. There is a whole real, live world out there where people who don't have the balls to say things to your face don't hang out...because they're too busy hiding behind a screen pretending to be cyber-important.

Hey, now that really hit home sister. Watch it.

If I knew you, I'd tell you how cool that was to your face. But since I don't........

I know.....I know.....back to work.

The net has always had the chance of trolling to happen from it's early inception. Well, bullying has always been around. Sounds like what you went through is a bit of both and more so stalking.

Now that everyone and their grandma is online, with that comes people who find it easier have one purpose when it comes to being on social networks, message boards, etc., to hurt others. In turn it's why I cringed when one of my favorite message boards opted to use Facebook instead of the forums due to disruption by relentless trolling. In the end the "non anonymous" profiles didn't exactly curb people who want to troll, bully, etc.

I dislike FB and don't ever see myself really using it. Though know some people don't have much a choice when it comes to people they associate with(had some friends upset at me because I don't want to use it but they do as a gospel for chit chat) from what I've heard of it; Set your page to private(yes, I see you mentioned about that already but this is in general for anyone). Screen people who want to be friends. I'm guessing lots of people do that anyway, now you know why.

a reply to: Etoile

I like to be of assistance.

Again, it really depends on what was said and why. The adding of all of your friends and family is in the line of stalking especially if they have no reason to do so. If multiple "randomers" did that then you may have a conspiracy to harass. Gang stalking?

Ultimately though you are your primary defence on line, how and where you interact can attract the wrong attention.

I'm not prying, but there is literally little else I can do or offer in terms of advice without more information.

Best of luck, try not to get too stressed over strangers online.

a reply to: seeker1963

I don't, words can hurt.

A girl I knew used to get bullied about her mum killing herself. Some really sick stuff like saying it was all her fault and she should have died with her. Words seemed pretty devastating to her.

Another lad I went to school with was always called all the derogatory words associated with being gay, his life was hell and he tried suicide a few times. Later he had a sex change, now he is living a happy life.

Words can hurt. I don't wanna drag out morbid discussions about other things in my life I've witnessed but sometimes words can push a person too far.

However, I'm 26. Never lived through segregation or any major conflicts... I used to say to mum am starving haha but no. I get what you mean, denying history can easily have it repeated.

It's why I've fondly reminded the "old timers" who think the past was greener that in reality their past was rather sordid... Even they need reminding that it was worse then. They just weren't looking.

Is there someone in real life who could act as a mediator between you and the person harrassing you?

From your post it looks as if you share a social circle or at least have one friend in common.

Sometimes people need to be spoken to properly and have things pointed out to them, in this case that things have gone far too far.

a reply to: Etoile

I want you to know that I agree with you and furthermore I always admit to being emotionally invested in my online conversations, lol. I care what people say. Words hurt. And it is against the law to threaten you and defamation is against the law as well. I hope you get help. I got help via an organization that provides legal advocacy and therapy(did I already say that?) and I hope you can get in touch with something similar near you.

Let me know if there's anything I can do. Pvt me for more emotionally invested conversation.

a reply to: Etoile

You fell into the world of "Catfishers". A dozen accts, screen names, addresses, messages...All can be the same person easily. Your neighbor, classmates, your ex or your brother.

Get off and outta Fake-booking and Twittering. You didn't know? And you mentioned "sexting" too? Great....Real stupid thing there as well...Go away from it all...And if you must...Go back months from now.

Why do you think so many are leaving those? There are trolls who love to mess with you....And you're learning the hard way. Those creeps are semi-PROS at this.

Stay away...find other things to do for awhile...And maybe talk to police. Call your non-emergency # and ask to speak with an officer about cyber crimes.

Dump the sites and messaging, make the call....Good luck.

MS

a reply to: berenike

Sod all that just send a big pal to warn em off.

a reply to: testingtesting

Yeah, a smack in the mouth fixes a lot of things. But T&C, you know.

So I most fervently wouldn't recommend one.

Seriously, though. Does nobody try and sort out differences face to face any more? Are they all so chained to Facebook and the internet?