I didn't watch the whole video- this guys idea of "real life" is being photographed after having professional make-up artists and hairstylists work on
you for hours, your clothes chosen by others or designed by professionals especially for you, and posing as told or being bombarded with the flashes
of hundreds of pro photographers on a red carpet.
Not very "real life" to me.
Also, it hasn't been that long I realized that men don't see behind such stuff- the idea that you are being fooled seemed ridiculous to me but I have
now heard a few men claim this is the case. I see behind the makeup and I see what a woman looks like underneath it.
Just like man wearing a red tee shirt- I can't complain he is "tricking me" into thinking he has a red torso when in fact, he does not.
He probably chose that teeshirt because it goes with the pants he has or maybe red compliments his complexion, he probably wasn't thinking "haha! I'm
going to fool those women out there!!".
But what I think is interesting is the american idea of being sexy as so important. If an american tells me they think I look hot, I understand it is
supposed to be a compliment. If a french person says that to me, I understand it is a criticism. It is the way a girlfriend would try to let me know I
need to go change before we head out. (this happened to me a couple weeks ago, with a dress that had a neckline which revealed some cleavage).
Looking hot is seen as a show of low self esteem. As if you are trying to pull attention away from who you really are naturally, in your personality.
This made me question why american women, once married, and no longer looking for a mate, would try to look "hot".
I had to examine myself. I came up with the answer some here did- it is expected of us by our society. We take it for granted that looking inviting to
the male eye is being "feminine". To the point that even with no one seeing us, we feel feminine when in our home wearing high heels, make up, and
thick long freshly curled hair. We have integrated this value to a point it is no longer about what others will see, it is about how we shall see
After many years of having very long hair that cost a fortune to upkeep, wearing lots of make up and sexy type clothes, I finally gave in to the
french idea and adopted the Jaime Lee Curtis look.... short grey hair, little to no make up, and classic clothing. I was surprised to have so many
comment that I look younger, and...more feminine!
I thought I was giving up on the femininity.
Seems there are variations on what femininity is.
For them, a real woman is wise, not sexy. Wisdom in terms of loving herself as she is naturally, and not feeling the need to provoke sexual arousal.
I have voiced my feeling here before, that part of make up was, for me, an expression of my emotional state. The colors were a way of communicating
how I felt at that time- red if I feel energetic, purple if I feel mystical, imaginative, orange and gold if I feel happy and creative, pink if I feel
sensitive and affectionate, etc.
This is exactly the same reason I choose clothes on any given day, to communicate my mood- not to fool anyone, on the contrary! To make what is inside
more clearly visible. So people around me know right away, through such colors, what they can expect from me.
From there, I understand wanting to look hot sometimes- sometimes you feel sexually aroused and want that to be clear. But like.... at work??? Why
would a woman wear plunging necklines like The Good Wife, when going to the office??
You're likely to spark romantic intrigue. But then that is where you find the strange hypocrisies over there- the lawsuits over sexual harrassment.
Women continue to dress sexy, and claim that men shouldn't misread that, that they should resist and control their natural responses.
That is the crux once again. That our natural urges and automatic responses are the evil dangerous parts we need to fight against and oppress.
In a culture which values the man who can oppress his natural beastly emotions, this is a test of sorts, and women can actually use that to determine
who is a "strong willed man". Tease and provoke those drives, and see who is able to ignore and oppress them.
The trap, for women, in such a culture, is that finding a man able to ignore his emotions, and getting together with him means he'll be ignoring YOU
one day.... until you have to act crazy to get his through his thick skull.
I remember my mom telling me once that she loved her husband because she could sob in bed all night, and he'd not even notice. She thought it was so
wonderful that he was immune to her suffering. This caused me a lot of confusion.
But she thought it was admirable and a sign of his great intellect. Her dream was to be like him and no longer be afflicted with the curse of
Whatever. I have come to the conclusion that empathy, and the emotional sways it causes in me, is a gift and very useful.
But that is all a matter of perspective, I guess.
edit on 26-12-2016 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)