originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: muzzleflash
I don't know what you are upset about, but none of us here enjoy the drama of a tantrum. I don't know why you would think that. If you are knocking
down furniture and ruining perfectly good cake, do it in your house, not our home here in the shed.
Everyone enjoys drama, otherwise Hollywood and literature would have never got off the ground. Who doesn't gossip?
But fine, I won't knock anything over or ruin the cake.
I am going to say something though,
(this is directed to everyone in general, the culprits know who they are)
I found out earlier that people were saying some mean things about me, calling me insane, a nutcase, and other unfounded things. It was very hurtful
to find out about and I am very disappointed and saddened.
None of you folks have ever met me in real life so you don't even know what I'm like. All you see are my words I type, you don't know what I sound
like, how I speak, what speed or intonations I use, nothing.
If you met me in real life than you'd know you were wrong and that I'm not whatever you imagine me to be. I don't think I say mean things about any of
you, and I've learned enough to know that when I do start judging someone that I've probably got it wrong and I need to step back and think it over
more deeply and give that person another chance.
Anytime I do say something mean I'll say it to your face and let you deal with the Truth.
It really deeply hurts to know that someone is willing to speak negatively about you behind your back and then turn around and pretend to be your
friend. It's betrayal and kills loyalty.
I might seem like a harda** or act real tough but I'm just a person like everyone else, I have feelings too, and not only that I'm actually very
sensitive and my emotions are exceptionally powerful and often overwhelming. All that I experience are thoughts and feelings.
Please, if you have an opinion of me, say it to my face and let me deal with that reality.
I'll prove you wrong. You'd only hide your insults of me because you know I'd be able to defeat them and show you are wrong about me. I'm not insane
or a nutcase, you don't even know me yet.
I'm a really nice person and I'm very patient and relaxed and laid back, I speak slowly and eloquently, I think deeply, I love passionately, I give
freely. I'm analytical and I am far more scientific in my methods than you might initially think - just challenge me if you disagree please. Give me a
chance and read what I say closely and think about it.
What you think is crazy might be a great idea or concept you are overlooking, or maybe I'm trying to teach others something important and you didn't
realize that yet? Just give me a chance. Don't hurt my feelings by judging me and saying all these hurtful comments in secret.
One thing you will learn about me, I WILL find the Truth, if even by pure random accident, it does reveal itself to me. I will find out. And you know
what? I'm glad I did. I do not want to live in delusions or believe in lies, I want to know the reality, the Truth of what is going on around me. I
want to be informed and make decisions based on accurate data or working theoretical approaches.
I'm glad I found out that I'm made fun of and looked down on. I don't mind hurting. I've spent my whole life alone in pain, it's nothing new to me. I
have trouble making friends here on ATS because they judge me immediately and aren't applying a proper set of criteria upon me.
In fact, I'm afraid I don't have any friends on here. I could go years without more than a few people sending me a small u2u. When I was gone for a
year from late 2014 to late 2015 only 1 person sent me a u2u and they didn't even realize I had disappeared, they just mentioned something in an old
thread. I've been here since 2004 and tried to make friends.
If I have to choose between being myself and having no friends and being insulted or being fake and having fake friends and having people pretend to
like me, I'll choose being me and alone by myself. Always. The Truth matters. And if people don't like me than so be it. I can't make anyone like me
or be nice.
Yall can enjoy the stupid cake now.