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In the future, CANADA will influence the outcome of the US Presidential Election. (satire)

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posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:26 AM
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It doesn't appear to be that difficult, nor even that sophisticated, really.

Whatever Russia can do, Canada can do better, even in hockey.

Had we picked this one though, we would have gotten it wrong, so I have to hand it to you my American friends to the south, your collective genius is just unparalleled, on THIS one...

You got lucky maybe. Dodged a bullet by "this much" (said like Maxwell Smart).

NEXT time however, given the degree to which this election appears to have driven your nation stark, raving, mad, it might become necessary for Canada, and Canadian hackers and activists and independent journalists, in the future, to be like ready to you know, eh?, to take over your election or at the very least alter the outcome so that you don't ever go and accidentally sell your soul to the devil, forever.

We got your back America, and thanks, this time 'round for knowing what you were doing, because I've always trusted the collective genius of the American people, but my God just think of how close you came..?!

So I'm going to go ahead and make 100's of millions of dollars (I have an idea), and then just do it, if needed, maybe with the help of Assange, as well as a whole army of Canadians from a whole spectrum of disciplines and technical expertise.

We're really smart, Canadians are, and just because we got this one wrong, doesn't mean that we won't be right the next time, and SAVE you from yourselves, if needed.

But would you then threaten to go to war with us? Would there be sanctions?

Screw it, it would be worth it, because we love you, and we've been really worried about you to be honest, and we do not want to lose you as a true friend and as friends that are a lot like us in so many ways as fellow North Americans.

It's been hard though, watching and observing, but somehow I've been turned into the eternal optimist in the process, ironically, and it's because I'm smart enough, as a smart Canadian, to re-evaluate and admit when I was wrong and sadly mistaken.

Anyway, all joking aside, if i could, on behald of all Canadians, I would say to you, our American friends, and I do say, Merry Christmas, and may God Bless You All!!! throughout the Christmas Season, into the New Year, and beyond, come what may, and who knows, it could be good (ya never know..?).

AnkhMorpork

edit on 16-12-2016 by AnkhMorpork because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:31 AM
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When the curling riots start, I'm out.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:34 AM
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originally posted by: underwerks
When the curling riots start, I'm out.


Do curlers riot? C'mon, let's be real.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:37 AM
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posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:41 AM
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Kevin O'Leary 2020



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:49 AM
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a reply to: TheTory

I went to star your post, and then I was stopped dead in my tracks. He's not Canadian, is he?! #.

No, it has to be one of you. We can't send in a Canadian imposter, I don't think that's realistic.

edit on 16-12-2016 by AnkhMorpork because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:54 AM
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originally posted by: AnkhMorpork

I knew it!

I pictured a lot more blue jean shirts and poutine flying though.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 12:55 AM
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a reply to: AnkhMorpork

He will be the next prime minister right after the collapse of the Canadian economy a la Trudeau, and it will be just like Trump did in America. It's inevitable.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:03 AM
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a reply to: underwerks

And a Moose, a Beaver, a Hockey Puck, a Mountie and maybe even an Igloo, not in that particular order. Oh, and a beer, first and foremost at the top of the list. Everything is secondary to beer.

That'll be the "sign" that our fingerprints are all over it. We'll secretly place a Molson Canadian beer somewhere in the oval office during the official entry on day one, and then you'll know, and your own intelligence agencies will be too embarrassed to admit that the election was rigged by "the Canadians".

Let me start thinking of what our whole policy platform ought to be...

Beer.

what else.. hmph.

More beer?

Friendliness..

...



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:06 AM
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originally posted by: TheTory
a reply to: AnkhMorpork

He will be the next prime minister right after the collapse of the Canadian economy a la Trudeau, and it will be just like Trump did in America. It's inevitable.


Ah, I got you now.

Huh. Interesting. Have you checked with Kevin on this?

Trudeau is lame.

He's like our version of Obama and his popularity for being Trudeau and allegedly good-looking, is about to start fading fast, you're right.

Kevin does know money, but the problem with him is that he puts it right at the top of the pyramid, and there's no love there.

Then again, we are a very wealthy country..

Very interesting analysis.

What has to happen to trigger an election in Canada? lol (I know American politics better than Canadian, by far).



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:07 AM
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a reply to: AnkhMorpork

#Labattgate



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:13 AM
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a reply to: underwerks

Or, as I like to call it, "LaBLAHHHT!" (Flush)

Y'all are fine. Just do what you are doing.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:16 AM
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originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: AnkhMorpork

#Labattgate


Beats the # out of that other, now nameless "gate", provided everyone's of the age to drink alcohol.

Some day you'll see it. It'll be there right on the table in the oval office, a Labatt's Blue Light, but there won't be any context, and nor would the President Elect comment on such absurd allegations.

Canadians? Ah ha ha!

It'll be a joke. No one will ever believe it for the life of them. It's too crazy, but good crazy, in this case.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:27 AM
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originally posted by: TarzanBeta
a reply to: underwerks

Or, as I like to call it, "LaBLAHHHT!" (Flush)

Y'all are fine. Just do what you are doing.


The blowback has already started.

Er, no, by "y'all" you mean Americans making you a Canadian.

In fact, it's beginning to appear that it's already begun in a way whereby everyone that's posted to this thread so far is Canadian, if only because we're suckers for self deprecating humor - sorry.


Anyway, I purchased, from Roger Stone and Alex Jones, Stone's upcoming book, three Trump is my President red t-shirts and two Make America Great hats, just like the one that Trump preferred on the campaign trail, as Christmas gifts (to wear during the inauguration) for my upcoming company Christmas party next week - and the funny part is that I really am into the spirit of the whole thing, having flipped right over to Trump (for all the right reasons), and yet, I'm not sure if I myself will have the courage, nor my friends and colleagues, to actually WEAR the gear when the time comes, and it will be interesting to see how far they're willing to walk around town in it next week right here in Canada! Should be interesting!

If I was in the States, in certain areas it could and likely will be dangerous, but here, ah, you'd just get some strange looks maybe, or a wonderful conversation piece, although I'll leave out the satanism stuff just in case they were a supporter of Clinton and the Clinton machine.

We'll make some friends and "enemies", but they're not likely to go ape# on us for openly wearing the Trump gear, but I can't wait to see how my friends deal with it on Tuesday night..

edit on 16-12-2016 by AnkhMorpork because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:34 AM
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a reply to: AnkhMorpork

Lol.

I'm just a redneck that accidentally received a brain.

But I smell what you're stepping in, and it smells fun.



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 01:56 AM
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a reply to: TarzanBeta

for some reason, only Canadians are participating so far as yet..

I think it makes a fine point about the nature of Russia-gate.

If I could, I would like to take this opportunity to encourage all our American friends who are not so enamored with the MSM's and the establishment's blatantly biased continuation of the Clinton campaign against Donald Trump, even if you voted for Clinton or against Trump - to, just this one time, just this once, access the social media and email tools at the upper right of the page of this thread, and spread this article as a satire piece in response to the Russian hacking allegations.

Post the link to the thread to Info Wars, or in the comment section over at Breitbart. Tweet it at Donald Trump. It will get his attention, don't worry.

You just never know when you might open up a channel of communications and by God we need the world to listen to us, even little old us here at ATS.

Our voices and what we think, and feel and intuit and perceive, it matters, and believe you me they're paying attention, it doesn't matter whether we're in Canada or the United States.

That's the kind of fun that I had in mind, I don't know about you, as I'm always hoping to break through and speak truth to the no longer powerful, who are willing to concoct a ruse as a psyop and, after excoriating "fake news" to be caught as the very purveyors of fake news.

I've seen enough, listened to Assange, noted the untimely passing of Seth Rich, have seen what came out of the Podesta emails and accompanying FBI manual, conveniently released by WikiLeaks at around the same time, and I've seen what the MSM is mounting, after everything else failed, whether it be the recount, the fake news did it, to the electors, and now with Russia as the culprit, in part it would seem to hide where the information REALLY came from and how it got to WikiLeaks in the first place, maybe even to the degree that the bad, dark and evil part of the CIA and Intelligence Community, have come up with a canard that's capable of duping the nation and perhaps even the President who only goes with what he's fed (something that Trump knows to be careful of and leary about - so his off the cuff comment about it as "ridiculous" might not be so ill-informed).

Personally, I think that what we're seeing right now is a type of panic attack reaction to the "insurance" and personal security key that Assange has created in the event of his untimely death, and that this whole thing is a psyop with dual spin capabilities, both of which provide cover, of a sorts, while attempting to delegitimize the election, which I don't think is going down with the American people.

It's fake news.

But here, I'm rather serious.

Russia didn't hack the US election, but some day, Canada will, we might have to.

edit on 16-12-2016 by AnkhMorpork because: damn typo!



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 02:57 AM
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originally posted by: AnkhMorpork

originally posted by: TarzanBeta
a reply to: underwerks

Or, as I like to call it, "LaBLAHHHT!" (Flush)

Y'all are fine. Just do what you are doing.


The blowback has already started.

Er, no, by "y'all" you mean Americans making you a Canadian.

In fact, it's beginning to appear that it's already begun in a way whereby everyone that's posted to this thread so far is Canadian, if only because we're suckers for self deprecating humor - sorry.


Anyway, I purchased, from Roger Stone and Alex Jones, Stone's upcoming book, three Trump is my President red t-shirts and two Make America Great hats, just like the one that Trump preferred on the campaign trail, as Christmas gifts (to wear during the inauguration) for my upcoming company Christmas party next week - and the funny part is that I really am into the spirit of the whole thing, having flipped right over to Trump (for all the right reasons), and yet, I'm not sure if I myself will have the courage, nor my friends and colleagues, to actually WEAR the gear when the time comes, and it will be interesting to see how far they're willing to walk around town in it next week right here in Canada! Should be interesting!

If I was in the States, in certain areas it could and likely will be dangerous, but here, ah, you'd just get some strange looks maybe, or a wonderful conversation piece, although I'll leave out the satanism stuff just in case they were a supporter of Clinton and the Clinton machine.

We'll make some friends and "enemies", but they're not likely to go ape# on us for openly wearing the Trump gear, but I can't wait to see how my friends deal with it on Tuesday night..


Theres a company in japan selling trump masks . You need one to go with your trump gear .
Though at present they out of stock and on backorder .



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 03:31 AM
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a reply to: VengefulGhost

Are you Canadian also? Just curious..



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 03:42 AM
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originally posted by: AnkhMorpork
a reply to: VengefulGhost

Are you Canadian also? Just curious..



Am an escapee from the american asylum , living in malaysia now .
Have been mistaken for canadian by both malaysians and singaporeans .
Usually have another beer rather than correct them as would be rude to turn down free beer .



posted on Dec, 16 2016 @ 04:41 AM
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a reply to: AnkhMorpork




Whatever Russia can do, Canada can do better, even in hockey.

We beat Russia too




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