Banana Board

Another member posted about the Internet making people lazy. One of the responses discussed woodworking, garnering a similar response from the OP. I didn't want to hijack the thread off-topic with yet another woodworking response so I decided my response might warrant a post.

I too like woodworking, although I don't seem to do it much anymore. My table saw is covered with outdoor gear (which I seldom use anymore also). But I do remember my first woodworking project.

Long before the "Internet" (see how I did that?) I had a Wood Shop class. I think it was about 8th grade. I chose to make a cutting board for my project. I was going to give my masterpiece to Mom. I cut and glued many pieces of wood together. I planed, I sanded and I planed...and I sanded. I was having a hard time getting my cutting board perfectly square on the edges, so I planed and sanded some more. I planed and sanded until my cutting board was only about 4" wide and 12" long when I finally got it right.

I proudly presented my masterpiece to Mom and she did the "Oooh Ahhhh" thing that Mom's do. She hesitated for a moment and then said..."what is it?"

" Why, it's a cutting board, Mom!", I said, somewhat mortified she didn't immediately recognize the exquisite craftsmanship and blinding ingenuity. I mean, lightning bolts of coolness just shot out of this thing (in my mind). How could anyone not see this?

So Mom profusely thanked and praised me as she took the masterpiece to the kitchen and set it down.

Later that evening Dad came home. He usually liked a snack after coming home from work. His favorite snack was a banana. Upon entering the kitchen he grabbed a banana and a knife. He immediately seized upon my creation to cut his banana, and then exclaimed..."Hey Honey, where'd you get this 'banana board?'"

Banana Board? I thought...BANANA BOARD?????? I mean not even Leonardo DiVinci could have made a work of art in the likeness of my near perfection...and this knucklehead is calling it a "Banana Board"???? How dare he! I was crushed (well, not really, after all it was pretty funny).

Of course Mom came running to the rescue in a desperate attempt to preserve my last remaining drop of ego.

"It's a CUTTING BOARD...and YOUR SON made that!" she exclaimed. (I think she might have kicked him in the shin too, but I couldn't see for sure from around the counter). It didn't matter, the damage was done; it would forever be a "banana board".

Dad held onto that old scrap of wood for nearly 40+ more years, and every single time he ate a banana from that day forward he'd dig out that crappy old Wood Shop project out of a cupboard somewhere and cut his banana on it!

And for the rest of his life he always referred to it as...The Banana Board.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

My very first wood project was a stool.

I was ten years old and decided I wanted to make a stool (like a full kitchen-sized stool), so I went into the garage, grabbed my dad's jigsaw and went to town. Nobody was home, I had free reign of the power tools.

I grabbed a scrap of plywood and cut out a circle for the seat. Grabbed a couple of 2x2's and cut three legs (I even cut the wee little pieces that go in between the legs for support.

Used the drill to screw all the pieces together and walla !

A stool.

It was lopsided and rickety, but damn if I wasn't proud of myself for my ingenuity.


Mom and dad got home.

After a 30 minute lecture on safety and power tools, I was grounded for two weeks.



... and I've been permanently damaged ever since.

Pardon me now while I run off to rob a bank, kick some kittens, and tear the labels from my mattresses.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

My last wood project was a Medicine cabinet for the bathroom. My next one will be a corner hutch. That one is going to be a slight challenge. The wife wants one so I will do my best.

Just wanted to let you know that I enjoy reading your threads.

Beautiful story
Your dad loved the banana board with all his heart.
Thanks for warming my heart with your story

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Oh man I am rolling with laughter. Lightning bolts of coolness? I snorted, sincerely. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story and sharing it so well.