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You said he had no other choice which that is what I was saying is wrong.
I´m a bit overfed on making every excuse for wrong behavior. The only one to blame are the kids.
They know full well what they are doing, they just don´t care. No one can make me believe a 14 year old does not know what he´s doing when he´s bullying another one.
originally posted by: bender151
a reply to: Boadicea
Administrators are supposed to know about how exactly?
There is much that is not being stated or unsaid in this report.
Did the staff know, what all did they do, how many of them tried to take action and stop this before it happened?
originally posted by: tribal
i was bullied off an on in school. I changed schools every 2 or 3 years so i was always the new kid....that didnt help. In 8th grade i went to a very dark place where i was ready to kill. I was seeing a girl who had a jealous ex boyfriend. He said he would show up at the school dance and beat me down. I was mentally ready and would have done whatever I needed to to put the issue to rest for good one way or another. His friends who were still students at the school saw my demeanor and knew it was going to be bad if he showed up. My adrenaline was so high i had to go outside in the rain and run laps. He never showed and I got invited to the principles office to talk about it. I went home and nothing ever came up again. Maybe someone tipped him off, i have no idea...but after that no one messed with me.
When things like this happen the failure sits squarely on the adults. Humans dont have fully developed frontal lobes until their 20s.....so actually if we were really going to structure society around real science and biological understanding we wouldnt even allow kids to join the military and die. Nevertheless, we are not as sophisticated as we think we are.....we are not as enlightened or evolved as we think we are. As long as we are sacrificing children to the gods of ignorance, neglect, and apathy we are no better than the mayans who happily cut out their hearts on the tops of pyramids. Our children might be biologically alive.....but the system is designed to kill us spiritually, creatively, and in every other way that truly matters.
So sad for this boy and his family.
originally posted by: SlapMonkey
a reply to: Boadicea
It's a catch-22 for kids (and parents) anymore. If a child is being bullied, school systems claim a no-tolerance policy on the matter, but we all know that this impossible and often only lip service.
But what isn't lip-service is things like no-touching policies, and when a child is tormented, even if they can fight back, they end up getting in trouble as well, even if they were in the right to defend themselves.
So, that leads to a tendency for kids not to fight back in time-tested ways that may injure someone, but at least it would usually get the bully off of their back when they stand up for themselves. When they can't fight back, they continue to get bullied. When they continue to get bullied, if they are not strong-willed kids and have parents and other friends who can and will back them up, they generally develop a disorder that can cause them to do drastic things (suicide, school shooting, assault people with knives, call in bomb threats, etc.).
The we get to the parents, who are often berated, investigated, or publicly shamed if we try to do things like train our children to be able to defend themselves with fists and legs--we're contributing to violence, they say. It's not healthy to promote fighting, they say. So, most parents cower away into the shadows and just assume that the school is enforcing their no-tolerance policy of bullying--again, which we know that they're not.
So, tell me, here--what do we do? When I was a kid, if you got into a fight on the playground, you may have gotten in trouble for fighting, and maybe you were sent home for a couple days or so, but you went on with life. Now, it seems that, if it comes to violence, it's been bottled up for so long because of the aforementioned issues that it's like a powder keg exploding, and then cops are called, people are shot, school districts are shut down, Congress and the White House get involved, and suddenly it's a national crisis.
My choice would be to let kids figure it out. If a kid needs to defend themselves, let them, without turning them into a criminal for doing so. If I have the right to shoot someone in self defense, can't a kid throw a few punches in self defense and it not be the end of the world?
We're raising a bunch of cowards, and it's not their fault. Adults are creating these situations for them, and their young minds are finding the best way to cope that they know how. It's a sad reality.
You can't tell a kid not to bring a weapon to school to protect himself against bullies, when the whole world is doing this on the grand scale.