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Public Service Announcement: BRI or "Bagel Related Injuries"

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posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:02 PM
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Bagel Related Injuries still rule the ER.

America consumes some 5 million bagels per year.

Each of us eats some 10 bagels each per year.

Amongst our group of bagel eaters, about 2500 of us will have ended up in the ER with some awful slice to the hand that needs more than a bandaid,

So this is my public service announcement: Use A bagel-slicer if you can.

Otherwise: Check to see if the bagel is pre-sliced; don't plunge your knife-wielding hand through the bagelage. Then, after you've checked, only appply the knife lightly; let the knife do the work.

Some cream cheese, lox, and there you go.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Thank you.


edit on 6-12-2016 by Dan00 because:





posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:06 PM
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I worked at a bagel shop when I was 19. Watched a girl slice clean through her fingers.

She was able to have them reattached after I put the nubs in a bag of ice. She lost some mobility in her left hand.

Now the place uses bagel slicers instead of knives.



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:08 PM
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a reply to: projectvxn

Well there ya go.

Thank you, Sire.




posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:10 PM
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Bagels should be banned

Edit: ignore this post, its just me star whoring for giggles and I dont really think bagels should be banned.
I do however think that there does need to be more regulation on how bagels are stored and before anyone buys a bagel they should have a licence that shows they know how to cut them responsibly without harming themselves or others
edit on 6/12/2016 by IkNOwSTuff because: (no reason given)

edit on 6/12/2016 by IkNOwSTuff because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:23 PM
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This is why I dont eat bagels in bed



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:29 PM
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a reply to: visitedbythem



This is why I dont eat bagels in bed


And that has to be the next plot-trajectory for American Horror Story: Bagels in Bed.




posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:35 PM
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a reply to: IkNOwSTuff





posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:35 PM
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No really, look at this, you'd be surprised at how many folks have never see one:



It's like a saggital-cut guillotine for bagels,

Get one if possible.




posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:36 PM
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I think that bagel slicers should be registered, applicants passing a background check, taking bagel classes, and paying for license to operate a bagel slicing device.

Bagel crime



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:41 PM
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Actually, bagels are over rated. Younger people keep telling each other how great they are but once you get older you start to think on your own. Someone told you they were good so you believed they were good. They really are no better than some of the other options we have. Some people obsess over them like some obcess over bacon.

I've been there, I did it, I believed they were great a while back. But I actually was just following the leader.

How many things are you eating that you really don't like. You convinced yourself they were good or someone bragged how good they were and you started to eat them. Be honest with yourself and your spouse and friends just say you do not care for them that much.



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:42 PM
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a reply to: intrptr

Well,

God bless you. You're a bagel-fascist.

Down with bagel-fascism. Up with People.


Bagel populus: Vivat!




edit on 6-12-2016 by Dan00 because:




posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:55 PM
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a reply to: Dan00

Do you have an open carry permit for that? I think that thing is evil, just saying.

It might go off accidentally.



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:56 PM
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If ya cant handle a knife , MOVE AWAY FROM THE BAGEL.
Stick with oatmeal.



posted on Dec, 6 2016 @ 11:58 PM
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a reply to: intrptr

A well sharpened bagel slicer, being necessary to the success of Einstein Bros Bagels, the right of the people to keep and eat cream cheese and bagels, shall not be infringed.



posted on Dec, 7 2016 @ 12:08 AM
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originally posted by: Dan00
Bagel Related Injuries still rule the ER.

America consumes some 5 million bagels per year.

Each of us eats some 10 bagels each per year.

Amongst our group of bagel eaters, about 2500 of us will have ended up in the ER with some awful slice to the hand that needs more than a bandaid,

So this is my public service announcement: Use A bagel-slicer if you can.

Otherwise: Check to see if the bagel is pre-sliced; don't plunge your knife-wielding hand through the bagelage. Then, after you've checked, only appply the knife lightly; let the knife do the work.

Some cream cheese, lox, and there you go.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Thank you.



Are those numbers correct? 5 million bagels, because if 1/3 the population eats 10 bagels a year that would be 320 million x .33 x 10= 10,560,000 bagels. Or do I need to go to bed?

edit on 7/12/16 by spirit_horse because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 7 2016 @ 12:11 AM
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originally posted by: Dan00
No really, look at this, you'd be surprised at how many folks have never see one:



It's like a saggital-cut guillotine for bagels,

Get one if possible.



Excellent! I got to get one of those.



posted on Dec, 7 2016 @ 12:19 AM
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50+ years eating , lets say 1 bagel/week .Thats 48 bagels a year (that is a very conservative estimate). Thats 2400 bagels. Always used a knife (GASP!!!!) . A bagel has never attacked me in that fashion. Ever



posted on Dec, 7 2016 @ 01:15 AM
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Don't cut yourself for breakfast, people.

Be alert if you have to use a knife to cut a bagel.

It makes all the difference between you makiing it to lunch, and you making it to the ER before lunch.

Think about where your hand is before you slice.


edit on 7-12-2016 by Dan00 because: alright then.



posted on Dec, 7 2016 @ 01:20 AM
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a reply to: spirit_horse

No, it really is some insane amount of bagels coast-to-coast.

We should probably both go to bed,

Before we start dreaming of bagel pimpdom.




posted on Dec, 7 2016 @ 01:23 AM
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a reply to: Dan00

lol! I concur.

*heads to the bedroom*








 
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