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The best present [SCC2016]

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posted on Dec, 1 2016 @ 06:51 PM
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December 24th

3am and the only car on the parking lot. Common man what’s up with you, hurry up or we won’t be able to get a present for Emily.

It was a cold night and everyone was sleeping, soon most of the preoccupations on everyone minds would be not to burn the Turkey, please don’t sit me next to the mother in law, and am I going to remember what happened or am I gonna get too wasted? But not for Garrett.

For Garrett, Christmas eve would be one of the rare opportunities he will be able to see Emily after his high school sweetheart left him. 7-year-old Emily don’t know too well her father, during his time in prison the mother never took her to see him. It was a welcome surprise when he received the call he could go to the dinner the next day.

Garrett has not been the sharpest tool in the box during his whole life, little he knew recreating Jackass Egg Nog Challenge that faithful night would result in the death of that poor lady, but five years of his life and the impossibility of finding a job as an ex-con surely has thought him you cannot go around life being a total jackass.

The call filled G with joy and two ideas crossed his mind, he would finally could be a stand-up dad for his daughter and good citizen in general, and what kind of present could he bring to her so she could love him. Realizing he is a failure who could never get a job and expend his last money on beer, sadness and need for more beer quickly replace all hint of hope in his mind, but as a true Christmas miracle he remembered the conversation he had with his lifelong friend Tirone.

And that bring us to this cold parking lot at 3 am. Charise, the completely out of Tirone league girlfriend, has been working on this Lithuanian bar in the middle of nowhere, she is constantly nagging Tirone he should stop drinking beer and passing out till 3pm and get a job so she could stop working on that hellhole; so Tirone came with the idea that the 23 the place would be packet with old people remembering about the mother land, so the cash register would be packed and those oldies could not do anything to stop them.

3 hours ago Tirone went inside and said it would just take 5 and G should keep the engine running. Now he started to wonder if Tirone meant 5 minutes or hours. Freezing his ass on the old gremlin Garrett seriously started to freak out, so he decided to see what’s going on inside.

Stealthy as a cicada on heat, G approached the bar and was shocked by what he saw; the scariest Christmas carol was being played, the chipmunk song, and the place was empty. Not wanting to waste the opportunity he approached the counter and he could not believe his eyes, the place doesn’t even have a register…

Furious about Tirone incompetence he started to fume about his bad luck when he started to notice the voices in the distance.


“Greitai baigė išskrodimo nenaudingas, tai yra tik naktį Ragana gali patenkinti mūsų poreikius“


It seems the local had a basement and old people where talking down there, perhaps Tirone info was not bad after all.


"Ragana mūsų panele reikia kraujo auką ir laikas yra trumpas."


"tai idiotas, nėra grynas, ne tarnauti"


Garrett felt bad when he saw they were all old ladies that seem to have come from a fairy tale, it was almost a shame to rob them, who eats fondue on Christmas he began to ponder when he realized they were slowly removing the intestines of a barely conscious Tirone and placing it in a cauldron.


Freaking out Garrett started to run not before letting escape a very girly squeal out of his mouth, he ran to the car, but that damn old thing would not start.


Come on come on, continue saying until he saw one of the old ladies in the bar entrance. Just start gremlin piece of # he said, when from the back seat the voice of Charise asked, “where do you want to go with such hurry G man?”.

Sharting his pants our brave hero almost past away when like a miracle, he remembered where do he wanted to go with such a hurry, Emily…


Garret jumped out of the car and ran as fast as he could towards the city, years of beer soon took its toll as he slipped and fell out of the road smacking his head on a rock.

3pm. Waking up with a wicked headache, he could not remember where he was. Man I must have gotten pretty wasted yesterday -he though- where is my car.

A quick look at the city skyline remind him what day it was and that if he hurried up he could still be in time for his dinner with Emily, he decided he could find the car other day and commenced the long walk to the city, luckily, he could hitch a ride from trucker.

As he approached the ex door he released he should had taken a bath and not appear as someone that just spend the night in a ditch, he could also had gotten a teddy or some other present for Emily, as doubt started to settle in he started to back away from the door when suddenly the door opened and Emily ran towards him screaming DADDY!!!

His eyes started to go teary, when he said, sorry honey I could not bring you a present; that’s ok daddy – she said- I been waiting for you and you are the best present I could ever had!

As they enter the house 2 old ladies saw the scene from the distance…
"mergina bus geriausias siūlymas Ragana"


edit on 1-12-2016 by Indigent because: title with [scc2016] im sure the text is unreadable so its useless to proof it

edit on 1-12-2016 by Indigent because: stealthy edit to fulfill contest requirement




posted on Dec, 1 2016 @ 06:53 PM
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About the Author

Third time the charm? Maybe it’s the fourth for Indigent.

Failing over and over on those ATS writing contest, probably because he don’t even speak English, or just because he is plain bad, the reason he won’t win may be his stories may not have much relation to the contest itself.

'What the hell' he said when he considered to fail once again, his strategy is failproof after all, one day every ATSer will have writer status and he will be the only one on the non-writer category, winning by default.

If you want to know what ups with the weird text in the tale, Indigent is not quite sure as he google translated the heck out of it, but Ragana is a mythological witch in Lithuanian culture.

One day may be the lucky day for our favorite little lizard on ATS, wut there are more lizard avatars on the site and im not even top ten? Crap…




Ragana taking a child
edit on 1-12-2016 by Indigent because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 1 2016 @ 09:12 PM
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After writing this I read some of the competition and read mine, don't flag this pos you polite monsters, it's an offense to the good stories the others write.



posted on Dec, 3 2016 @ 12:46 PM
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a reply to: Indigent

Giving the 4th Star and Flag whether You wanted them or not! I enjoyed this Tale! Very well done actually!!!
Very well done indeed!!



posted on Dec, 3 2016 @ 04:44 PM
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a reply to: SyxPak

thank you!!!



posted on Dec, 3 2016 @ 05:30 PM
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a reply to: Indigent

Nice!




Failing over and over on those ATS writing contest, probably because he don’t even speak English


To this I would say, your better than a good amount of native speakers!!




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