I cannot believe I am writing this. I wake up in the morning and it is even more raw and real.. it's like a nightmare I just can't wake up from.
This has been the most devastating loss for my family (and all of Ian's friends and admirers). My brother also has a twin, who I am concerned for but
we are doing everything we can to support him. I'm also very worried about my mom because she lives by herself and has a history of depression and an
eating disorder, so it's imperative that the family sticks together and loves each other now more than ever.
To summarize what happened this past week.. my brother was on a few different medications. He had some struggles these past few years, but in the
past few months he had moved home (we are in New England) from Chicago, got a new job, was seeing therapists and taking medicines as they told him
to, and literally doing everything right. We could not be more proud of him!
But the doctors messed up big time... they will likely get in a lot of trouble but that's neither here nor there.
We thought my brother had the flu about 12 days ago. Finally last Tuesday he went to the docs (his skin was fluorescent yellow at this time, and he
was looking like this since 2 Sundays ago).
The doctors said to stop taking his medication, he might be lethargic for a few weeks but he would be fine.
Well they totally f'd up. His liver was probably already failed at that point. Moving on... on Thanksgiving we got the call from his Twin that
they were going to the ER to get him checked out, get him some fluids, etc. My brother (his name is Ian) was having trouble moving and was getting
Doctors told us his liver and kidneys were failing.. that we would need to transfer him to Lahey Hospital near Boston since they are the best in the
nation for liver transplants ("in case he needed it"). Ian was still lucid, joking around with us, and although he was in pain and scared for his
life, he put on a game face and was extremely strong and as always hilarious. We stayed in the local hospital overnight until a bed opened up in
Lahey, then in the morning he got transfered. Me and his twin (his name is Derek) raced down to Lahey to try to beat him, which we did.
By the time Ian was getting carted in last Friday, his consciousness began fading. His eyes were open when he was on the stretcher, and when the EMTs
asked if he saw his brothers, he nodded and kind of looked at us. But I would not get a chance to speak with him again
Slowly his condition would
The next 4 days were the most difficult and trying times ever for my family. It was very graphic.. he was hooked up to many different machines and
IVs.. they needed to get his blood pressure up.. they needed to try to keep the swelling in his brain down.. all the meanwhile trying to get him
listed for the transplant list. Day #2 in Lahey we found out he had the flu on top of everything else. Day #3 we found out he had pneumonia on top
But he got listed, and remained on the list for the whole time we were down there. But on Monday his head swelling was going up, his respiratory
was also failing, and his acidity in his blood was going up. They told us if they got a donor the transplant team would not be able to operate on
him since he wouldn't make it, and that they couldn't justifying risking a good liver. We prayed and prayed hoping that the antibiotics would help
him fight pneumonia and the flu and that this would help bring the acidosis down (they weren't sure if acidosis was from the liver failure or his
However at 11 PM on Monday night his blood pressure kept dropping. They let us know we should call his father and sister who were back at the hotel
to come by. They did. We had a Greek Orthodox priest (who we happened to run into) say a prayer with all of us outside of Ian's room, which was
just so grim.. I couldn't believe what was happening. But at the same time I'm glad we were able to do that.
By midnight it was getting worse and worse. Ian was surrounded by his 5 siblings, and his parents, all praying, talking to him, and crying harder
than I've ever seen people cry. We needed a miracle, and we kept asking for one.
Ian fought so incredibly hard... he was
a marathon runner. He was 35 years old, an avid skier and tennis player (and instructor), and
absolutely loved hiking the Appalachians (and any mountains, but especially Mount Mansfield in Stowe, Vermont) and loved dogs and all animals. He
kept fighting... no one could have fought for as long or as hard as Ian did.
Finally at a little after 1 AM on Tuesday, we consulted with doctors. They said he would slowly continue to deteriorate, but the medicines were
facilitating a lot of it. So we asked that they remove the breathing tube and medicines so it wouldn't prolong the suffering.
We all came back into the room shortly after they did this. I didn't see his chest moving to take air anymore. He had an ICP monitor (a device they
insert in the skull to check brain pressure) sticking out of his head, and his skin was very fluorescent. We all said our goodbyes, kissed him,
thanked him for being our hero, and felt the world tumbling down around us. I cannot believe this is real. It really is true that the good die
young.. Ian had a heart of gold and would never ever complain about anything - that's partly why we didn't know he was so bad for so long.
I wake up in the morning and the world feels so empty now. I'm being strong for my family, but this is by far the most tragic thing I could have
ever even imagined.
We are going to make it through, but the world lost an amazing soul. I pray to God that I get to speak with him and see him again one day. We are
so lucky Ian was a part of this world. He will live on through his family, his friends, and most of all his twin Derek.
We are Team Ian forever - and he will be watching over us.
Rest in Paradise big brother... you are my hero and idol forever, for as long as I remember. The first time I thought I was cool was when I was 9
or 10 years old at tennis camp and he was a counselor (he's 8 years older than me). Ian invited me to do a Backstreet Boys lipsync with him. I
finally thought I was "a cool kid" because my awesome older brother invited me to be part of this hilarious gig he put together.
Growing up skiing, playing tennis, hiking, going on vacations, enjoying holidays together... nothing will take away the amazing experiences I got to
share with him.
But nothing will ever replace him either. I feel shattered.
Me and my brother
Ian R. Graddock
9/7/1981 - 11/29/2016
We love you brother.
Ian is on the right (in all of these pictures)
See you on the other side...
edit on 30-11-2016 by FamCore because: (no reason given)