Empty chairs at the Thanksgiving Table

a reply to: Nyiah

I doubt the OP calls his brother that to his face.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: Nyiah

I doubt the OP calls his brother that to his face.

Even if it wasn't used in that manner, he probably perceives he'd be on the receiving end of hostility via association. Kind of like an ethnic minority wary of & not wanting to be around those who snidely use whatever pejorative applies to their ethnicity even if no one utters it directed at them specifically. Broad sense use can still be taken personally.

a reply to: Nyiah

Still no excuse.

For years we endured that at my dad's side of the family where one aunt is a flaming lib and conceived nothing but contempt for my mother. But we went anyway and made the best of it for my dad's sake.

Good quote. I will have to post that on FB.

Sal

a reply to: TheRedneck


"Them who puts politics a'fore family ain't a-gonna win at neither."

I'm thankful I won't be with any of my immediate dysfunctional family at any of the holiday family functions. I call them the "Confederacy of Dunces"...

I'd much rather celebrate our blessings with my lady and her family, but for some reason she feel the same way about her family as I do mine.

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
you refer to your brother as a " hilbot " - he will declines social invitations

That's a fair statement to make but perhaps I should clarify. Yes, my brother is, in my estimation a hillbot. I wrote that in part to paint an overall picture. I should have gone on to explain that for this reason, I never, ever engage in political discussions with him. It would go nowhere and it's pointless.

As I mentioned, we only see each other a times a year so there is so many other things to talk about, get caught up on, laugh and joke and reminisce about other than politics.

originally posted by: zosimov
Honestly, you're lucky that everyone is alive and healthy. My family is dwindling fast and I am thankful for everyone in it, regardless of ideology.

Your bro will come around.

In part, that is why I feel bad for my parents. They aren't exactly "spring chickens" and as recently as a few months ago we had a health scare with my Dad. While I do get enjoyment from hosting people in general, it's also not really about me. I can't say how many more Thanksgivings, Christmases, 4th of Julys my folks have left. Such a waste for my brother to segregate himself not just from me, but from his family in the larger sense.

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: eluryh22

He'll come around. Or he won't. Me and my older sister are polar opposite politically and pretty much on anything else. That being said we love each other's company and would never let the fact we differ on everything separate us. Shouldn't even be an issue.

You are completely correct. It should NOT be an issue (or at least is shouldn't rise to the occasion of boycotting a long-standing family tradition).

originally posted by: Night Star
How very sad to hear this. I can't imagine politics getting in the way of family love. He may regret his decision. Who knows, maybe he might even show up. If not, it is a petty and selfish decision he has made.

May you and your family have a lovely Thanksgiving in spite of his absence.

In my last text to him I simply said he's welcome and should they show up, we'll have room at the table for them.

Thank you for the kind wishes. Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well.

Also, nice cat picture

originally posted by: Nyiah
Well geez, if you were my sibling & oh-so-lovingly referred to me as a pejorative political backhand term, I'd skip out on you, too.

.

I hope you don't consider this cheating but I'm going to copy/paste my reply to ignorant_ape because he (or she) made a similar, valid point....

I had written....

That's a fair statement to make but perhaps I should clarify. Yes, my brother is, in my estimation a hillbot. I wrote that in part to paint an overall picture. I should have gone on to explain that for this reason, I never, ever engage in political discussions with him. It would go nowhere and it's pointless.

As I mentioned, we only see each other a times a year so there is so many other things to talk about, get caught up on, laugh and joke and reminisce about other than politics.

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: eluryh22

Why would you want a toxic person at your family table anyway?

I'm reserving my right to respond to this question, in great detail, in a separate, dedicated thread, at a time when I can give it the full amount of attention it deserves.

a reply to: eluryh22

True love is not letting anything get in the way. If my family wasn't family many of us wouldn't talk haha.

But having a family like that with much diversity while keeping the love is what makes us tolerant in our personal lives.

I've had many a girlfriend who has ideology vastly different from mine and I has rarely proven to be an issue. That is because I can still respect and admire them (maybe more so) for being convicted in their own beliefs and not mine.

My wife, kids and I have decided to have our own Thanksgiving this year instead of with the rest of the Family. Seems everyone has family issues

I have a plan for Thanksgiving.
If politics comes up - sit quietly, smile, and say absolutely nothing.

I almost considered not going this year.
I love my family. We have a large family and they are good people. We get together mostly for holidays, as they don't live very close.
But that side of the family are mostly city-people, and are strongly, madly liberal.
They ridicule anyone who admits they are Republican. (Mainly - my brother, my parents, and myself. (and a few that are not strongly either party))
I would not be surprised to hear they took part in the protests.

At another event, when politics came up one of my aunts patted me on the knee "sympathetically" saying "Republicans are not going to do anything for you dear". I had to bite my tongue to stop from explaining to her how I don't want any president doing anything for me - I want them to fix things so that I can do for myself.
As you see - they have the give-me-free-stuff mentality.

We had a short debate that day with some younger relatives who were rabid Bernie supporters. I respected their point of view. They had nothing but contempt for mine and my brother's, and I doubt we convinced them of anything.

My parents had dinner with his brothers and sisters just before the election, and they ganged up on my father trying to talk him out of voting for Trump. They bombarded him with emails and texts when they heard who he was voting for - to the point of harassment.

So, I am a bit fearful of Thanksgiving dinner. I am sure if politics comes up they are going to be trash talking Trump. I am sure they are angry about the outcome of the election.

I have decided to take the high road, and just sit and smile.

Hmm... on second thought, I wonder if I should wear my MAGA hat?

a reply to: eluryh22

You did the right thing.
The problem is his, not yours.
Hopefully he will do the right thing when the day comes.

a reply to: BlueAjah

I wouldn't. It won't get you anywhere.

The closest I ever came to rebelling against my liberal relatives' POV was to wear my KSU gear to most every function. They all went to the in-state rival school, and especially when I signed as athlete and earned my letter jacket, it was all kinds of fun to subconsciously rub their noses in it without actually saying anything.

But that is college rivalry, not politics. I would never go that far with them. They were all proud Prius driving, Obama bumper sticker sporting types.

It's funny.

Here, on ATS, I'm a conservative.

When I visit family, I'm the liberal.

originally posted by: OuttaHere

My husband always says that when his mother passes away we will probably never have anything to do with her again. We can't waste any more time trying to rebuild bridges if she is just going to keep burning them down.

Families aren't really made from blood. That's just happenstance.

I take my holidays seriously, in that I intend to enjoy them - - being with people I enjoy.

a reply to: ketsuko

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

You seem to have it a little backward, there... since when is politics more controversial than college football? Around here, we got it in the right order: Alabama football, life-and-death, then politics.

Oh, wait... I forgot NASCAR...

TheRedneck

originally posted by: DBCowboy
It's funny.

Here, on ATS, I'm a conservative.

When I visit family, I'm the liberal.

That is a good thing.