how would you handle a drunk father in law making threats

Ultimately - do whatever you need to do to keep you and yours safe.
Would also suggest approaching it with compassion.


If alcohol is the issue, then there's an Addiction driving it.

Not saying that Addictions don't negate a person's inherent propensity to simply be an a-hole regardless of any Addiction...but just from experience of knowing/working with countless people within the AoD (Alcohol and Other Drugs) Sector...it's so often a battle against the booze/blunt/bullshyte/burden than it is against the person themselves.

Only way to really work with the person is to work with the person...sans the problem.


Just keep in mind what you're seeing, experiencing, having to clean they shyte up from ISN'T the person...it's the combination of the person AND the problem/poison...

Either way.
Be safe. Be strong.
Much strength to ya.

Being a CCW in a state that has a very robust castle doctrine, i have many more options than you.

My FIL isn't an a-hole, but he was a very overbearing father that loved using catholic guilt to make his daughters easier to control. I had to back him off on about year 5 of our marriage. We get along great now, we just don't mention that I had to flat out tell him i'd whoop his ass. Im much larger than him, so it was highly effective.

Your plan...sounds fantastic if its needed. One thing to keep in mind: "deal with him" isn't a direct threat legally. In a world of probable doubt, he could mean, "repay that small loan i've been dodging paying back".

Me personally, i think you shouldn't open the door.

Kid in the house is your priority.

Threatening you is designed to cause you anxiety and stress, he doesn't need to knock on your door to cause a sh*t storm in your life.


Call the police now, not when he shows up smashing windows or driving a car through a bedroom window.

originally posted by: Dumbass
I'm being just silly ol' Dumbass but...

originally posted by: TinySickTears
... my wifes father in law ...

That is your father right?

no im just slow.
my father in law
her father

a reply to: alien

for what its worth i appreciate what youre saying but this asshole gets no leeway from me.
he tormented my wife her entire childhood. he bullies and torments everyone around him.
everyone is afraid of him cause he is big bad danny.

all his kids have totally cut him out of their life save for my wife and that ended tonight.
they were going back and forth yelling when he called and then he told her that i was a punk and a con man and an piece of # so she told him to # off.
she told me that was it. she is not talking to him ever again.

this was just a last straw kind of thing. she is very protective of me.

i got laid off the other day so she went and got a fast job at a pizza shop just till i get situated. she told him the other day and today he is drunk and talking # about me.
he said this should prove to her that i am a punk and dont want to work.

thats funny because we have been married 5 years as of yesterday. she has worked about 2 months of that.
i on the other hand have been in the foundry for the past 5 years. its nothing for me to do 12 or 15 hour days. 30 days with no days off. work ten then come home for 6 and go back and do another 10.
i got my finger curt off. im still at the foundry.
i got my face smashed with the hook of a small crane. busted me open and took some tooth. thats why i finally got around to capping it gold. still at the foundry.
so it pissed her off that he says that about me when he is just talking out of his drunk ass.

so she hangs up and then the messages started and she does not respond anymore and that really pisses him off. he cant just let it go. he has to keep going.

i decided to wait till she gets off at 9 to talk to her about calling the cops. i do not feel right doing it when she said she did not want to. i feel like i am going behind her back and i wont do that.
we will talk it out and in the end the call will be made but i can not do it if she does not approve.


that said she is totally cool with me stomping his ass if it comes to that.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Hearing ya.

So...only sending love bro.

It sucks. It really does.


Sending love and would happily - if you were in my area-code - cook you up a feed of slow-smoked pork ribs, point you towards the homebrew, hand you the remote, toss a blanket over you when you pass out...

Much strength to you bro.
You seem like 'good people' who don't warrant this 'bad crap'...

Get familiar with your state laws.

Hypothetically, you already have at least Harassment/Harassing Communications on him for the threats.

If he shows up drunk at your house, you have...

- Public Intoxication
- DUI
- Possession of a Pistol w/o permit.

And all that is just before he even tries to huff and puff and blow your house down.

OP, start a paper trail with the local authorities. It will only work in your favor, no matter what the eventual outcome. If you find yourself before a jury of your peers, an established pattern of behavior showing his aggression and your attempts to do things the right way will only work in your favor.

Sure it'd be satisfying to bloody his nose and make a point, having that assault charge on your record will make it harder to provide for your family.

In today's litigious society, it really is better to CYA and have a good paper trail.

Dearest Father-in-Law.

I hear you may be coming by for a visit soon.
This reminded me of something I've been meaning to ask you.
Are you an organ donor?
Thanks in advance

Be the bigger man and ignore it. He hasn't harmed you and a drunk guy isn't much of a physical threat anyway. If he turns up do what you need to do but otherwise don't even waste your energy thinking about it.

He's an idiot and his karma is going to be to have to live with the mess he's created when everybody goes on to have happy lives without him.

a reply to: MagnaCarta2015

a drunk felon known to have a gun (i assume felon, snce he is disallowed from poessessing said firearm)...seems like a viable enough threat to me.

In a fistfight, i'd not worry about a drunk old man. In a gun fight, i'd worry about even a 4 year old girl (in the unGodly scenario, anyway)

a reply to: TinySickTears

Forget all that talk of guns and stuff and buying one best thing i ever got was a stun gun 350.000 volts of fun , It will not matter if he is a giant it will take him down as quite a few people can shrug off mace , i have seen this first hand .

But a stun gun on the door handle when you shout come in saves all the violence and shooting and it is silent

www.bing.com...

invite him in for pizza and beer and watch a movie or football game on TV. Disarm him that way. Don't try match violence with violence. Only makes things far far worse. You or him will end up dead or in jail.

a reply to: cynicalheathen

Speaking of a paper trail, if he leaves messages on an answer machine, buy a small recorder and save them.