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how would you handle a drunk father in law making threats

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posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:05 PM
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so a brief history. my wifes father in law has a history of being unstable. he has a history of violence. he just got arrested for domestic violence last year. they do not talk much but every now and then he gets drunk and starts harassing her.
about a half hour ago he called her drunk running his mouth about me. that is per the norm.
i am this and i am that.
whatever.
he told her on the phone that he 'just might' come over to deal with me.
having heard that i am trying to figure how to handle it.

my plan is if he shows up here knocking/banging on the door i will open the door and spray his ass in the face with pepper spray and then call the cops. i have a 4 year old child in the house with me. i do not need to deal with a drunk dude.

i figure if he was at my house i would be within my rights to spray him. when the cops come i will say he was making threats and he showed up and i did not know what he would do.
i would have to mention the unregistered gun(he is not allowed to own) he carries in his trunk.

i mean what am i supposed to do? not spray him and hide in the house or go out there to deal with an irate drunk with a pistol close by.

how would you all handle it?




posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:08 PM
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they hardly talk but every now and then he gets like this.
he would do things like have his girlfriend call my wifes job and say she was a friend of hers and as soon as my wife answers grab the phone and start harassing.
i dont think he actually would show up at my house but with him being drunk i would not put it past him.

dude has like 6 kids and the only one that even entertains talking to him sometimes is my wife.
he is just a horrible, horrible person.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:10 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

If he is making threats...call the cops now and call your attorney. Domestic violence can spin out of control very quickly...don't be caught flatfooted.

Be sure to give the cops a good description of the finlaw and yourself...you don't want them to shoot you by mistake if you need to call them. Don't pepper spray until threatened.


edit on 20-11-2016 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:12 PM
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originally posted by: TinySickTears
so a brief history. my wifes father in law has a history of being unstable. he has a history of violence. he just got arrested for domestic violence last year. they do not talk much but every now and then he gets drunk and starts harassing her.
about a half hour ago he called her drunk running his mouth about me. that is per the norm.
i am this and i am that.
whatever.
he told her on the phone that he 'just might' come over to deal with me.
having heard that i am trying to figure how to handle it.

my plan is if he shows up here knocking/banging on the door i will open the door and spray his ass in the face with pepper spray and then call the cops. i have a 4 year old child in the house with me. i do not need to deal with a drunk dude.

i figure if he was at my house i would be within my rights to spray him. when the cops come i will say he was making threats and he showed up and i did not know what he would do.
i would have to mention the unregistered gun(he is not allowed to own) he carries in his trunk.

i mean what am i supposed to do? not spray him and hide in the house or go out there to deal with an irate drunk with a pistol close by.

how would you all handle it?



Beat him up..lol

Unless he is like my baby mammas dad. Who was a life long biker who still fights on a semi regular basis(late 40s early 50s).then run lol
edit on 20-11-2016 by JoshuaCox because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:12 PM
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I would say the only way to deal with this is let him come to your door and put him flat on his back. he wont be back....

Ringing the cops isnt going to deter him.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:13 PM
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originally posted by: olaru12
a reply to: TinySickTears

If he is making threats...call the cops now and call you attorney.

Be sure to give the cops a good description of the finlaw and yourself...you don't want them to shoot you by mistake if you need to call them. Don't pepper spray until threatened.



i told her to call the cops now but its still her dad. she does not want to unless it escalates.
if he shows up drunk at my door after making a threat i would feel threatened which is why i would spray him. plus i figure if i spray him he would still be here when the cops showed up. if i said i called the cops he might take off.
if they show up they will see he is drunk. they can run his name and see his history. my wife could show the police the text messages and let them listen to the voicemail



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:13 PM
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Call the cops. Pray to God he doesn't show up. If he does open the door and hug him. Wrestle with him. Pretend he is your huggable bear and love him to death.
Whisper to his ear "I love you daddy".

Then his violence will subside.

Dealing with this for about 3 years. My father in law loves it when I call him dad.

Source: just call the cops if he does show up armed.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:14 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

I work with Police, Fire and Search and Rescue...and informing them 1st is a must in case you have to confront and defend. Call the law BEFORE it happens and tell them about him. Then...you have every right...on your property...to defend yourself, your family and property.

Youve already been threatened. Call the non-emergency police line and just tell them you have been. And though nothing may come of it...you are wanting it on record if it does.

Good luck, God bless. Do it. Ok?

MS
edit on 20-11-2016 by mysterioustranger because: spell



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:15 PM
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Get a restraining order to keep the bastard away!



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:16 PM
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originally posted by: ColaTesla
I would say the only way to deal with this is let him come to your door and put him flat on his back. he wont be back....

Ringing the cops isnt going to deter him.


i was thinking the cops for the long term.
this dude used to be a bad ass i guess. he is pretty big. 6 foot 8. has an attitude. i guess when he was younger he used to mix it up a lot. now though he is like 65 and moans and groans every time he gets out of the chair.
if he was tough he is not anymore.
i am not afraid of mixing it up with him.
what i am afraid of is not being able to be sure exactly how far someone who is drunk will go.
that is what is making me a bit nervous because he does roll around with a pistol in his car.
i figure if he shows up drunk like that i have to assume the worst.
that is the reason for the pepper spray, shut the door, call cops.
if i go outside to deal with it who knows what could happen.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:19 PM
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originally posted by: mysterioustranger
a reply to: TinySickTears

I work with Police, Fire and Search and Rescue...and informing them 1st is a must in case you have to confront and defend. Call the law BEFORE it happens and tell them about him. Then...you have every right...on your property...to defend yourself, your family and property.

Youve already been threatened. Call the non-emergency police line and just tell them you have been. And though nothing may come of it...you are wanting it on record if it does.

Good luck, God bless. Do it. Ok?

MS


that makes a lot of sense. she is saying no and that he is not going to show up here.
i think the odds of him actually driving across town to come here are slim.
if he was sober and talking # i would not even be thinking about it.
you just never know how far someone who is drunk will go. especially if they already have an attitude



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:27 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

Unfortunately it isn't a legal issue if he doesn't break the law. If he comes over, its legal. If he bangs on the door, its legal.

If he storms around on your lawn making vocal threats while drunk, but still doesn't attempt to break down the door, its legal.

If however you open the door and confront him, threaten or injure him, that escalates it and you will be held responsible.

When you see him pull up, call 911. Explain he's drunk he's been threatening us, he may be armed, you can ask for a civil standby. That means cops show up but take no action until unless something happens. Yu also stay on the line and tell the 911 operator whats happening so they have a record of it. If he's drunk and driving the police may take action anyway.

If he suddenly rushes the door and breaks it down and comes into your house brandishing a pistol, you unload both barrels, just make sure he's inside and brandishing a weapon, first.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:34 PM
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a reply to: intrptr

the laws are strange. i didnt think it was legal to be drunk and threatening on someones property when you are not welcome.
i trust what everyone is saying because i really dont know.

these are the times i still wish i had a pistol. ohio has stand your ground/castle laws and all that.
i would have no problem shooting him as soon as he barges through the door.
i had a taurus .40 but there was a recall on it so i just sold it to a shop and have not got around to buying another piece.

i think i just might have to.
we talk about it but it is one of those things we put off and probably should not.

i might start working 3rd shift so we have been talking about getting a shotgun in case something happens while i am at work. my wife would not have to worry too much about having perfect aim....

maybe i will pick one up tomorrow after i drop my daughter at school.
not cause of her dad but just in case whatever you know



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:37 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

I'm honestly not trying to be a smartass, but ask any beaten wife, who has filed one after running away, how well words on a piece of paper work. A restraining order only works if the person isn't mad enough, drunk enough or just plain crazy enough, to not give a damn.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:37 PM
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Call the cops, do not pepper spray (but keep it handy just in case), do not open door to him. Domestic violence is bad, and even worse when drugs or alcohol are involved. Avoid at all costs.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:38 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

Great. You just said it and I told you. Dont listen to the "it wont happen because he's just talking and a drunk". DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT. Go do it and dont say anything.

The graveyards are full from guys like him where those desceased never "thought he would really do it". How much do you value your family?

Please. Do it for them. You dont have to tell them. And that may even get him drunk driving and off the roads should they know about him.

Good luck...keep it touch. Stay safe and protect you and yours!
Best, MS



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:44 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

Absolutely, defending ones home and family is completely justified.

Twelve gauge pump, short barrel and bird shot. You're seeing clearly. Sorry for your drunk, pissed in law.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:44 PM
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originally posted by: mysterioustranger
a reply to: TinySickTears

Great. You just said it and I told you. Dont listen to the "it wont happen because he's just talking and a drunk". DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT. Go do it and dont say anything.

The graveyards are full from guys like him where those desceased never "thought he would really do it". How much do you value your family?

Please. Do it for them. You dont have to tell them. And that may even get him drunk driving and off the roads should they know about him.

Good luck...keep it touch. Stay safe and protect you and yours!
Best, MS


i value your opinion cause you seem to know what you are talking about.
i think when my wife goes to work at 5 i will call the non emergency line and just give them some descriptors of the situation.

he really was a tyrant to my wife and her mother her whole life. has multiple arrests.
when my wife was 6 years old her dad threw her mom out of the house, into the yard, naked in an ohio winter.

i guess he used to pull his pistol on her mom fairly often.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:48 PM
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originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: TinySickTears

Absolutely, defending ones home and family is completely justified.

Twelve gauge pump, short barrel and bird shot. You're seeing clearly. Sorry for your drunk, pissed in law.


yeah. i think i will pick one up.
this dude is hard to get a read on cause you never know how much of what he says has actually happened.

i dont know how many times he has told me he has killed more 'n-word's(derog term for black people in case it does not show) in this town than anyone.
obviously he has not but what kind of a piece of # even talks like that let alone brags. ive heard him say it no less than 20 times.

he is the kind of dude that nobody has worked harder than him. nobody has been in more fights than him.
# like that.

he used to lie about being in the nam i guess too.
he never went but always had all sorts of stories about things that happened there.



posted on Nov, 20 2016 @ 12:49 PM
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Smith and Wesson usually gets the point across with little chance of misinterpretation



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