High-Tech Spacesuits Eyed for ‘Extreme Exploration’, page 1

(Warning: Yes, I am a curmudgeon...)

We had another thread on this a long time ago. Never in the history of government has any agency wasted more money on completely useless crackpot ideas as has NASA; the administrators have a Darwinian approach to innovation: 'try everything, and see what works'. But we got velcro.

When I go into an extreme environment, the last thing I want is something sheer, thin, or sprayed-on. Of course, I am an old fashioned pilot. As in I prefer wool underwear in Alaska. Not Gore-Sucks. And a parka with a fur collar. Wool socks, not Leggs. And a real extreme exploration suit when off-planet.

This latest your-tax-dollars-paid-me-to-study-Seven-of-Nine crapola would be hilarious if it wasn't spending the money that could take you and me to the Moon, Mars and Beyond.

On the other thread, I encouraged all Junior Pilots to do a thought experiment about plasti-dipping a frog (yes, frog dies) up to the neck (please don't actually try this), then to imagine spraying plastisol onto some of the more private and hairier parts of their anatomy- then peeling off. Ouch. Now Yes, we can all shave our pits and other bits then spray away but a mammal still dies if you plasticize its pores. Ask any woman if makeup makes their face warmer (no, it does not insulate). But I've come up with an experiment You Can Do At Home- for real: get a can of spray bandage stuff at the drug store. Spray your left arm from the elbow to the wrist. Now fill a five gallon bucket with ice cubes, rock salt and water. Have a timer clock handy. Now plunge your left arm into the bucket and start the timer. Two, three, four seconds and YOWWWWW!! Hurts, doesn't it. Now try your unsprayed right arm. Two, three, four seconds and Same Result. Spray-on suits are sure real good for 'Extreme Exploration'- NOT. Now wash off your left arm with whatever solvent (mmmm Vodka) the maker reccomends. Imagine those Explosive Fumes building up in a hermetically-sealed life support system...

While you're at it, go outside and spray the rest of the band-aid spray up into the air with the sun at your back. See all the pretty microspheres of sticky plastisol? Imagine them in zero gee in the same sealed cabin, all floating around, not falling, not blowing away. While you breathe. Yeah, emphasema sure is fun under the conditions of 'Extreme Exploration'...

Make mine a hard suit.

Postscript Addendum: why do I care so passionately about this? Well, one of my ancestors was involved with the Cherokees Will Rogers and Wiley Post. Wiley (where the Coyote got his name) was a good ol boy from Oklahoma who, just out of the blue really, invented the world's first pressure suit for flying above the viable atmosphere. He did this on his own; NASA did not exist yet. You can see the first Aviator's Pressure Suit here. Can you believe the looks of that space suit? You can not imagine how cold, how hot, and how deadly space is until you've been out of the atmosphere. Space sucks.

[edit on 26-1-2005 by Chakotay]