The Mortuary - A Multimillion Dollar Industry

This video is like a super serious, capitalism exposed, think about what you want the people to do with your body, type of Mister Rogers "how they make crayons" segment.




Embalming: flush the body of all blood and inject with formaldehyde. Massage to ensure complete infusion. Poor blood down drain into normal sewer system.

Cremation: ovens "retorts" that burn at 1000 Celsius, and emit vaporized heavy metals like mercury (from fillings) and all sorts of other stuff......

Promession: deep freeze and then shatter, remove heavy metals, use as compost for trees. (THIS IS MY DIRECTIVE)

Eternal Reef: Cremains are formed into concrete and put on coral reef floors to try to replenish the coral reefs that WE SCREWED UP (AN ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVE for me).

Plasticenization (or whatever): immerse body in acetone and turn it to plastic and put it in weird poses and use it for anatomy lessons
(Acceptable, but I still don't like the chemical bit)

When the body dies, it still contains "life." The idea of what to do with corpses is a HUGE industry. Watch this video to see to what extent!

For my part? Either just leave me to rot, or do the Promession thing. Or toss me on a campfire and let it just blow away.

NO HIGH-TECH stuff. Thanks for caring.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Flagged because it's like, super serious. Had to chuckle.

I'll watch the video when I have time but suffice it to say that I've yet to meet anyone who wants to be a mortician. Thus possibly the high price tags.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs
Donating my body to science.

Hopefully they can have a laugh and my family can dump me in the garden 2 years later.

ALL for FREE!!!

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Yup, no doubt about it... funerals and the burial business are massively huge money-makers.

Highway robbery if you ask me.



I've already established that I want a viking-like funeral, I've instructed family and friends that those are my wishes.

There's a small isolated lake not far from where we live deep in the bush that's only accessible by quad or snowmobile. Toss me into an old wooden rowboat, shove me out onto the water, and have everyone try to set me on fire via flaming arrows.

Then put on the music, lay out all the food stuffs, and drink and party into the wee hours like the zombie apocalypse is about to begin. My one and only stipulation is that they must play "Child In Time" by Deep Purple at some point during the farewell celebrations.

No muss, no fuss.

The only costs are the num nums for everyone and the ethanol libations.




I'll be right royally pissed if somebody spends a bunch of money burying me in the ground with a headstone.

Hauntings will happen... and I'll show no mercy.

Im all too familiar with the dead people industry.....having buried, burnt ,and dumped a few in my time.....
The whole horrid business is just another phony scam on the uninitiated and ignorant grieving people.......
Much like the rest of our BS "Society".

I hear that people are dying to get in.

originally posted by: Violater1
I hear that people are dying to get in.

Indeed: There are people dying today, that have never died before!

Seriously though: do remember about 16-20 years ago, a couple of huge mortuary corporations started buying-up all of the mom-and-pop small local salons. They were getting ready for the un-booming of the Baby-Boomers.

On same wavelength: anyone seen this silly Canadian comedy movie called: Just Buried?

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

My last instructions... ( yes typed out notarized and 100% legal... Except the like 3 illegal instructions lol)

I want to be cremated at least a couple test tube sized vials of my ashes scooped up...

My younger brother and my wife taking a vial each with them on a flight to Tokyo.

Where they are to flush me down the urinal in the international terminal of the Tokyo airport.

Bonus points for everything beyond two test tubes they get to Tokyo!

While undeniably silly and quixotic in the extreme, the idea is twofold.

1. It will be damn near impossible for them not to giggle every time the thought of my death enters their minds.

2. I got to experience Japan once, and I want my two best friends EVER to have the opportunity too!

What better way to make sure they see Japan too than a bit of good natured and well intentioned emotional blackmail?

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

In case vets want to go this route: Make sure your DD-214 form is easily locatable.

For Burial in a National Cemetery
Burial benefits available include a gravesite in any of our 135 national cemeteries with available space, opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, a Government headstone or marker, a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family. Some Veterans may also be eligible for Burial Allowances. Cremated remains are buried or inurned in national cemeteries in the same manner and with the same honors as casketed remains.
Burial Benefits - National Cemetery Administration

I've decided not to go that route. Left instructions for cremation. No fillings left so mercury not a problem. I've paid for cremations before, not that expensive around here. I should check how far in advance I can have a ticket held.

If I had my druthers:

But I don't have a horse, not too energetic, probably won't even make it to the mountains.

Whoa! Not very heroic at all!
Yeah, I'll settle for cremation.