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I tore mine down. There is a wall around you.

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posted on Nov, 15 2016 @ 12:01 AM
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a reply to: DeadMoonJester

What the hell are you even talkin'--




posted on Nov, 15 2016 @ 12:08 AM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Hi.

You and I have a lot in common actually.
Except I don't drink.

But I do get it, I do, I get it more than I want.
I wish I didn't get it.

How do you think I became a flaming skeleton reborn from the pits of Hell anyways?

I not only demolished my walls, I amputated every part of my body until there was nothing left.
Now the only thing left of me is what will remain forever.



posted on Nov, 15 2016 @ 12:25 AM
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I've posted this notion in other contexts, but there is an analogy to your feelings and your observations...

The concept can be distilled down a simple definition of a "fence" in a social construct sort of way. (bear with me here)

There are two sides to a fence; there is an "inside" and an "outside"...(a "wall" can be used in a similar fashion, but the philosophy is the same). Every fence has two sides. Those 'inside' the fence feel a security of being part of a group; they are "inside". Those inside the fence view those 'outside' the fence as wild and lawless. Those 'outside' the fence really don't have a particular view of those inside the fence. They don't feel shut out, they are just who they are.

Over time those inside the fence begin to progressively exclude others inside their "fence", effectively erecting another fence inside the first fence. They now have a smaller circle of people allowed "inside". Those 'outside' the inner fence might as well be outside all the fences. This fence (wall) building continues until there is only one person left 'inside' the fence. Alone inside is a lonely place and tiring place. So, they tear down the fence.

Suddenly they are confronted with the raw realities of why they built the first fence to begin with...BUT they now have something to compare it to. They have a context of both places, a comparison between the two...and it creates a paradox of sorts. Which is better?

Some choose one place, and others choose the other, but others still choose a balance. The wisdom of this decision doesn't come immediately but in time.

I suspect this is where you are, at a crossroads, deciding which path is better. In the end the truth is, neither path is better, but rather the path you forge for yourself. Balance.



posted on Nov, 15 2016 @ 02:24 AM
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roller coasters
leaping hearts
in all life
grabbing high heavens
walking & talking in unity
food
accomodations
and kissing

Well it appears together, that we all designed a pretty good time on vacation at an amusement park...

Now who is sad?

Oh yes the one that drank too much from holding on instead of going with the flow.

I have ridden in many boats and in many types of weather... pitching is bow and stern, rolling is side to side how could anyone fight such a thing the vast ocean and a vessel and little ol you... you can but it ends in sea sickness so you rock forwards and backwards and roll side to side like being in the womb of the vessel and it actually becomes very comfortable, relaxing and at ease.

Letting go to something larger than oneself and becoming no different than all else... unless you like to swim then it is just up and down breathing and gasping, but why paint such a picture? The unexpected happens so it is good to know the safety exits where the life rafts are and floatation devices... knowing one's way out sometimes becomes that balance called security something or someone you can depend on in an emergency when felt there is something and someone worth losing greater than oneself then take a deep breath and swallow that fear because you have work to do being the rock for those that depend on you for strength in the changing tides.









edit on 15-11-2016 by BigBrotherDarkness because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 15 2016 @ 02:38 AM
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originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
All I can do is drink myself blind every day hoping and waiting.

That's too bad if you're serious - drinking never solves anything - it only adds to it.


If you have a real answer, God, tell me! I'm owed one.

Even if there was a God, what makes you think he or even life owes you one? Where is it written that life is fair? It isn't. It sucks, but that's the deal.

I'm not poo-pooing on you, and I don't know your backstory, but there are lot of people in this world in very dire circumstances. Sometimes it's putting yourself into that perspective that can provide you with insight into your own.

Why not volunteer at a hospice and provide company to someone who's life is *really* over? I don't mean that to sound cold or callous. But maybe helping someone who is near their end might help you find some value in who you are and what you have to offer. Sometimes all people need is unconditional social companionship, without judgement or condition. For the very few people I have been around in such conditions (admittedly very few), it has humbled me everytime and made me value my own life and those around me.

Just a thought.



posted on Nov, 15 2016 @ 07:32 AM
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a reply to: noonebutme

It changes the state of mind same as placing the mind moment to moment in mindfulness can after having tamed it well instead of running off after it.

When drinking becomes coping instead of a celebration like with many other things of attachment from food to even control it can make one very unbalanced and out of control.

So not realy the drinking or anything else... it's poor coping to some situation that the mind is wanting to hide from or cover up but who's mind? Cease grasping and all just flows on through and eventually just awareness of it whether it is your mind or anothers one is aware of makes no real difference except the intent or energy that comes with it...

I read a quote yesterday actually very very many but one was similar to: Think of a scale the you on one side the world on the other... when you do good in the world? It tips in the worlds favor and everyone is saved and when you do negative in the world the entire world is destroyed... talk about a system of weight on ones shoulders... but it means weight every intent good and bad because intent will have cause and effect attached which the effect coming back may not appear in the short term gain one has thought that they have achieved as that intent flows through everything if done for negative selfish reasons well that energy comes back as a tsunami to wash all of that short term gain in being selfish right away.

Ive noticed this watching it it has also been seen as an effect in the world in the smile first thing in the morning making it back to you or that showing of kindness... and as soon as you cease giving so does it in unawareness but it still goes on then next thing you know when you need it? Someone smiles at you... and the chase is on again :p



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 01:31 PM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

You speak with much confusion.. Your thread is too personal and subjective to understand.

You will only truly find rest when you are extinguished.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 03:28 PM
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originally posted by: DeadMoonJester
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

You speak with much confusion.. Your thread is too personal and subjective to understand.

You will only truly find rest when you are extinguished.


NB: it's important here, to understand that what DMJ means, is not the end of life, but the end of the ego.

Others have been hinting at it, but DMJ just kinda blurted-out, that when you learn to extinguish your ego, then your soul will be unburdened, and you can reach for Nirvana.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 03:44 PM
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a reply to: Nothin

Well, not really.. not extinguishing the ego, extinguishing one's soul and even all of one's skandhas.

Total annihilation of the spirit unlike the ordinary nirvana this one is impossible to get back from. A Buddha can still incarnate as a bodhisattva.

Not after the total annihilation of the soul. This is the same annihilation that demon lords go through when they can no longer endure the endless darkness of their existence and their soul.

As far as ego, it is my duty as a demon lord to reach the absolute heights of arrogance and pride.. only through embodying the highest arrogance can I truly hope to understand the path of darkness.

Only through becoming the most arrogant can I truly become the most humble.. It's a technique by where you feed one side to such an extreme that it ends up transcending the whole spectrum as you transcend the most extreme arrogance and travel through the whole spectrum.. blowing through the limits and ending up on the opposite side of the spectrum.. entering as the most arrogant and emerging as the most humble.

It's a technique that most would not dare practice and most could not hope to handle, but it works.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 04:11 PM
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originally posted by: DeadMoonJester
a reply to: Nothin

Well, not really.. not extinguishing the ego, extinguishing one's soul and even all of one's skandhas.

Total annihilation of the spirit unlike the ordinary nirvana this one is impossible to get back from. A Buddha can still incarnate as a bodhisattva.

Not after the total annihilation of the soul. This is the same annihilation that demon lords go through when they can no longer endure the endless darkness of their existence and their soul.

As far as ego, it is my duty as a demon lord to reach the absolute heights of arrogance and pride.. only through embodying the highest arrogance can I truly hope to understand the path of darkness.

Only through becoming the most arrogant can I truly become the most humble.. It's a technique by where you feed one side to such an extreme that it ends up transcending the whole spectrum as you transcend the most extreme arrogance and travel through the whole spectrum.. blowing through the limits and ending up on the opposite side of the spectrum.. entering as the most arrogant and emerging as the most humble.

It's a technique that most would not dare practice and most could not hope to handle, but it works.


Well.
There's that.

Can you also see, how ever eloquently you have described your path, that the path is different for every soul?
For many: the exuberance and debauchery of a well-spent youth, has been followed by the torment and torture, of un-payable debts, and the realization that the foolish dreams of adolescence will never be?



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 04:16 PM
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a reply to: Nothin

I know nothing of which you speak...

I'm having trouble understanding the relevance?

But of course.. it is different for everyone. No one would ever choose the path of darkness.

I started out in the darkness but once I emerge I am of the light.. and the light is blinding.

Truly I am the most humble.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 07:25 PM
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originally posted by: DeadMoonJester
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

You speak with much confusion..


You're tellin' me! Here, maybe my old friend Jeff Lynne can explain it:


Everywhere the sun is shining
All around the world it's shining
But cold winds blow across your mind
Confusion--it's such a terrible shame
Confusion--you don't know what you're sayin'
You've lost your love and you just can't carry on
You feel there's no one there for you to lean on

Every night you're out there, darlin'
You're always out there runnin'
And I see that lost look in your eyes
Confusion--I don't know what I should do
Confusion--I leave it all up to you
You've lost your love and you just can't carry on
You feel there's no one there for you to lean on

Dark is the road you wander
And as you stand there under
The starry sky, you feel sad inside
Confusion--you know it's drivin' me wild
Confusion--it comes as no big surprise
You've lost your love and you just can't carry on
You feel there's no-one there for you to lean on



edit on 16-11-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 07:36 PM
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originally posted by: Nothin

NB: it's important here, to understand that what DMJ means, is not the end of life, but the end of the ego.


I know what DMJ refers to. I have studied these things for longer than I care anymore. Knowing doesn't help. Knowledge plays such a little part in finding harmony.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 07:46 PM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Indeed, there is nothing quite like it.. chaos..

Out of chaos I was born, into chaos I'll return..

This is the way of the dark side.. I do not like it myself and I would never have chosen it.. The women love a bad man.. but to my true love I am lost in the darkness and beyond hope, our love will never be.. no matter how powerful I become or how vast my dominion is. My existence is pain and tragedy.. love is so delicate, so fleeting.. if you ever catch it, never let go. I did and now I will never be with her again..

This is the pain of sitting on the throne of dark understanding.. to never be loved.. to have god turn his back on you for eternity.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 07:49 PM
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Now I am but a brooding figure.. a former shadow of what I once was.. or what I could've become had I not fallen so deeply..

Truly I am beyond saving at this point.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 07:55 PM
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originally posted by: DeadMoonJester
Now I am but a brooding figure.. a former shadow of what I once was.. or what I could've become had I not fallen so deeply..

Truly I am beyond saving at this point.


We can make club jackets



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 08:05 PM
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Maybe some counseling may help, you have had some traumas in your life and there are people who can help you process why and how you have ended up where you are. I know you are very bright NB and I believe you would take to it like a duck to water.

It's been years since I had counseling and I remember going in thinking: "yeah whatever they can't tell me anything I don't know" well within 2 minutes and 16 seconds I was weeping and sulking and blabbing and you couldn't shut me up. I think we can all do with a tune up TBH, I might just book myself in for one.



posted on Nov, 16 2016 @ 08:18 PM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

You too strayed into darkness?

I remember how I was once a Buddhist monk.. even though I have walked so far on the path of darkness I still sometimes try to escape the hell worlds.. But true to my nature I always stray into dark practices.. I can not practice magic without ending up practising black magic..

I am lost and spiritual practices can not help me.. If those bystanders seeing the Buddhist monk with his rosary only knew of the dark crimes he would commit once the darkness fell.. or knew of his history in the dark realms.. How they would never ever want to trade places.. how every breath of life in their life is worth so much more knowing they are free..

They could never understand.. the heavy burden, the existential anxiety of being a demon lord.. clouding every sunny day and sending shivers down my spine.. As a human it is sometimes too much to cope.. as a demon in hell I know it is just another Tuesday.. Ugh... let me dream away on heavenly clouds.. God destroy me.



posted on Nov, 17 2016 @ 02:27 AM
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a reply to: DeadMoonJester

Hey you get used to it after awhile...

Like sitting on the cushion having the great death hair like a hot iron wire, joints exploding, gritting ones teeth into dust and wooosh the other extreme presents itself.... took from dusk til dawn but a pain so tortuous and unbearable forced to be bearaible showed the shining face of impermanence.

Then later clinging to silly labels... I go see my abbot and start to explain. He looks at me and becomes like a small child laughing holding his toes and rocking back and forth saying impermanence over and over. My face matched his like a mirror and bowing finally made sense.



posted on Nov, 17 2016 @ 02:59 AM
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What the creator thinks


There is no such thing as good on this planet




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