It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Thank you.

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

# Santa Claus: An Engineers Perspective

page: 1
0
share:

posted on Jan, 25 2005 @ 04:10 PM
Santa Claus:An Engineers Perspective
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau).
At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

posted on Jan, 25 2005 @ 06:41 PM
My daughter will be very upset to read this

posted on Jan, 26 2005 @ 07:22 PM
That was good, my friends and I really enjoyed this.

Poor flaming reindeer
.

posted on Jan, 26 2005 @ 10:39 PM

...of 3.5 children per house hold, that...

Now how many people do you know have exactly 3.5 children? Besides that psycho killer down the street, of course.

posted on Jan, 28 2005 @ 03:19 PM

Originally posted by diehard_democrat

...of 3.5 children per house hold, that...

Now how many people do you know have exactly 3.5 children? Besides that psycho killer down the street, of course.

You stole that line from Yakov Smirnoff.

posted on Jan, 30 2005 @ 10:45 AM
I made that up myself. I don't even know who Yakov Smirnoff is.

posted on Jan, 30 2005 @ 01:31 PM

Originally posted by diehard_democrat
I made that up myself. I don't even know who Yakov Smirnoff is.

Ahh, I was kidding. What he said was something along the lines of, "When I moved to America I learned that the average American home had 2.5 bathroomws. This confused me until I learned that the average American family had 3.5 children."

I knew I was getting into trouble when I made that post.

new topics

top topics

0