I need some advice It's roommate problems

originally posted by: schuyler
You don't have a room mate problem; your room mates do. Find your own place with no one else. Preferably you can buy it so there are no landlord issues. Yeah, I know. You can't "afford" it, right? So basically you NEED the help of others to get a place. You require their assistance. In fact, not to put too fine a point on it, you're still dependent on others. And THAT means you have to be mindful of their needs as well. You don't have a "right" to smoke, so if it is an issue, whether or not is used to be, you need to stop, go outside, or move.

He has a RIGHT TO SMOKE Swear etc. He is dealing with 2 Females so it's a problem but i would tell them i was here first so shutup. If it was guys it would be handled quickly and efficiently but that's me. A Fat lip is more immediate then my Cigg smoke.

originally posted by: Kazber
About a year ago I moved into a house in the city. As a smoker, I looked for a place where I could smoke. The place has 5 rooms. 2 months ago 2 girls moved in a they don't smoke. I stopped smoking in the house and only smoke in my room. I have something at the bottom of the door, the window wide open at all times, and I use spray and incenses.

There is another smoker in the house and they go out side every once in a while so it looks as if everytime they smell something its my fault.

So they want me to go outside to smoke and winter is coming up and if I couldn't smoke in the house I would not have moved here.

Please let me know what I should do here because I can be real hot headed sometimes

If the lease says you can smoke then a good way to get rid of the little princesses.

a reply to: Hermit777

Smoking is not illegal. That which is not explicitely forbidden is implicately allowed.

I like that you have no right to smoke business. If it isn't forbidden by law, than it is a right.

Do you have "right" to wear perfume. Do you have a "right' to dress in a way that others find offensive? Can you eat meat in front in front of a vegan?

Since there is no implicit right to do these things then they must be forbidden also.

Do you have the right to reasonably undertake legal activities in your home? Of course you do! That includes the activity of smoking.

Tired of Control Freaks

originally posted by: TiredofControlFreaks
a reply to: Kazber

From a smoker, who finds that other people treading into issues that they don't have a right to tread into:

Get a little pot that you can burn essential oils in, with a candle that provides the heat for simmering.

Buy the most obnoxious substance known to man, I am think african fish oil here. simmer the oil and left the obnoxious fumes envelope the house.

When complaints are received, enquire as to whether the complainer would prefer to smell cigarette smoke OR the obnoxious substance (a food substance but one that is particularly offensive.

To all the other posters who insisted that the poster give up his rights in the room he pays for. SHAME ON YOU.

Have we all not lost enough rights and customs to whiners. The same people who complain of cigarette smoke smell will smoke skunk marijuana without hesitation. The idea that cigarette smoke is offensive is a madison avenue idea foisted on us.

Back in the day, cigarettes were sold on the notion of a "rich virginia smoke smell" . People did not mind the smell of cigarette smoke at all (there are always people with tastes that lie outside the norm).

Cigarette smoke has not changed its smell. What changed was peoples perception of the smell. And then only after an intense advertising campaign.

Why should a smoker give up the right to smoke in the only indoor place where he can smoke? If the room mates don't like the smell, they should go to a bar or restaurant for relief.

Tired of Control Freaks

Thank you. You said it better then i did.

originally posted by: TiredofControlFreaks
a reply to: Hermit777

Smoking is not illegal. That which is not explicitely forbidden is implicately allowed.

I like that you have no right to smoke business. If it isn't forbidden by law, than it is a right.

Do you have "right" to wear perfume. Do you have a "right' to dress in a way that others find offensive? Can you eat meat in front in front of a vegan?

Since there is no implicit right to do these things then they must be forbidden also.

Do you have the right to reasonably undertake legal activities in your home? Of course you do! That includes the activity of smoking.

Tired of Control Freaks

I think you misread my post i was answering someone else... schuyler

go to the bottom....

a reply to: Hermit777

Sorry, somtimes i hit the wrong reply button.

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: Kazber

I find it odd that these two 'new' roommates would agree to live there knowing that there was smoking inside the house and they are unable to tolerate the smell.
People do and agree to strange things, I suppose.

I realize that you are (apparently on your own accord) doing what you can to minimize the effects of the smoking.

You were there first, you have a lease (I assume) and they were aware of the living conditions
up front (again, I assume) so, IMO, they have to deal with it or move.
It's simple really to me.

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: Kazber

I find it odd that these two 'new' roommates would agree to live there knowing that there was smoking inside the house and they are unable to tolerate the smell.
People do and agree to strange things, I suppose.

I realize that you are (apparently on your own accord) doing what you can to minimize the effects of the smoking.

You were there first, you have a lease (I assume) and they were aware of the living conditions
up front (again, I assume) so, IMO, they have to deal with it or move.
It's simple really to me.

Yep you are accurate

originally posted by: TiredofControlFreaks
a reply to: Hermit777

Sorry, somtimes i hit the wrong reply button.

Tired of Control Freaks

And i agree with you fully i can't stand bullies male or Female. I would tell them they need to tolerate it or leave.
That would be first. Then it would be their choice, but if trying to bully me not a good idea. It's just the way to handle it,
Girl's one way which takes time but it would work, Cigg parties come to mind. Guys a different way if they tried to Alpha around me, never a good move.

Dude, I work outside, you are whining about 5 minutes outside in winter weather? Try 8 hours.

Suck it up buttercup.

a reply to: GodEmperor

Oh so you are being PAID to be outside so I should give up the right to engage in a legal activity in my own home?

Yeah that is is really relevant.

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: Hermit777

The first mistake that the OP made, that all smokers make, is trying to appease their bullies.

In this case, the OP restricted his smoking to the private area of the house voluntarily, without being asked, even though it was common practice before the girls moved in to smoke in the common area. He signalled that he was ashamed of being a smoker and that he felt that he was doing something wrong.

That was an invitation to be intruded on.

Tired of Control Freaks

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: Snarl

I smoked everyday for 25 years. I was up to three packs a day when I quit.

I quit after thirty five years. Hardest thing I ever did. It is doable.

Hey OP try the patch. It lets you down easy. Nocoderm CQ. Worked for me.

I tried Nicoderm when it first came out. Gave me the most realistic nightmares ever. I had pretty good results with the gum (until I started chewing the heck out of it. LOL)

Best cold turkey I think.

Personal to intrptr: Damn, brother!! You're older than the hills almost. LOL

If you're allowed to smoke in the apartment, then it's their problem, not yours. They shouldn't have moved into a place with smoke if they didn't want to be around smoke.

wow!! Thank you everyone.

My point as many said. They moved into a place where people smoked and they had the choice than.
Not to assume that I would just cater to there needs. And I never thought about being bullied and that is what is going on here. We are aloud to smoke in the house and that is why I moved in. and now I feel like I am the bad guy here and I feel like I should move.

Why should I move when I have lived here the longest and they moved into a house where they knew people smoked. They should have not moved into a place where there wasn't smoking if they didn't want it

a reply to: Kazber

Now you are getting it.

The basis of the anti-smoking campaign is to make smokers feel ashamed, inconsiderate etc etc. It is true bullying in its ugliest form against a minority, supported by the government.

Stop feeling ashamed. You are doing nothing wrong.

Please try my idea of creating a truly horrible smells and see what they say then.

Tired of Control Freaks

a reply to: Kazber

You lived there first. You have a right to smoke in your room. The roommates knew when they moved in. I don't think you need to change anything. I agree that it seems kinda like bullying.

You are being respectful by smoking in your room only. If they don't like it they should move out.

a reply to: TiredofControlFreaks

You allowed people who did not approve of smoking to live with you. Why didn't you address that issue before they moved in? What right do you have to negatively affect their health, and increase every single person's insurance costs because you want to expose people to second hand smoke?

This is the deal, you have a few options: smoke outside, find new roommates, find somewhere else to live.

a reply to: Kazber

It's pretty much ball in your court my friend.

We all have our own advice (readpinion lol).

If I put myself squarely in your shoes (indoor smoker, attempts to appease etc) I'd tell them to please waste oxygen elsewhere.
My main point has always been consideration of others. You've shown plenty. Tell them smoking here's okay, mmmkay, and to move along

I hope you get a good outcome :-)

Peace
V

originally posted by: TiredofControlFreaks
a reply to: Hermit777

The first mistake that the OP made, that all smokers make, is trying to appease their bullies.

In this case, the OP restricted his smoking to the private area of the house voluntarily, without being asked, even though it was common practice before the girls moved in to smoke in the common area. He signalled that he was ashamed of being a smoker and that he felt that he was doing something wrong.

That was an invitation to be intruded on.

Tired of Control Freaks

Yes he did you are correct. I do try to be understanding of things but in my own house not a chance.

My stepdaughter showed up ( for months ) and the first thing she said is i should smoke outside like she does ???

I said knock yourself out, thus ended the lesson.