How many of you felt more alone this year?

I wonder because I know I felt it, and I know some of my good friends are feeling that. I don't know if it's because we're all in our early 30s, but it seems like something in the world went totally obscure lately... The dominance of social media, internet, smart phones, we just take it for granted now like it's been around for decades.

It all happened so fast, now we cannot even sit with a friend without receiving messages or notifications from our smartphone overlord. Distracting us from the person in front of us.

And what the hell ever happened to just sitting and waiting? Looking at the sky or at some wall? Just having a chat with the other person sitting on the bench?

Forget about those days online where people use to share genuine or private thoughts and ideas without being discouraged, flamed, trolled, denounced, ridiculed and so on. That includes ATS, and most of us older members have seen this change going rapidly I believe. Even ATS is no longer a place to share real and heartfelt authenticity.

I mean, this is all just becoming strange, and so fast. As we dive deeper into this new world we lose more touch with ourselves, with our friends, with life. We become more fake, less authentic, each relationship becomes extremely complex because of the naturally bad communication of text messages that replaced phone calls, and information such as if the message was read, if the other person is typing, and so on.

It's naturally that we become more obsessed with our self and how we're looked upon. We are more interested in getting appreciated than getting real. We share less of ourselves, and more social media stuff, youtube videos, etc.

I fear that we're heading in a very bad direction, I would actually be surprised if people will say that their relationships have gotten closer. And that is just the beginning, and to be honest I say it very rarely but i'm scared. Scared for humanity and for what's to come.

I guess this thread will be buried deep down under the heavy mass of election threads, I just had to let out some thoughts instead of keeping it to myself again.

a reply to: Shuye
Turn the damn phones off once and a while. When I go to my cabin, phones don't work there. Its amazing how restful a couple of days off grid feels.

You only have to look in the mirror.

Maybe it's because I'm in my mid 40s that i don't have the compulsive need to constantly check my phone i constantly notice in others, i don't know. I consider it sooooooooo rude to be asked out for dinner, or other social gatherings only to have my company spend ridiculous amounts of time texting or checking Facebook.

At the end of the day though, no one controls you, or your actions other than yourself. Put the phone down, the world won't stop because of it.

originally posted by: Nickn3
a reply to: Shuye
Turn the damn phones off once and a while. When I go to my cabin, phones don't work there. Its amazing how restful a couple of days off grid feels.

I would LOVE to go off grid once I could afford it and have a more steady income. Two years ago I was in a meditation center for 30 days, turned my phone on maybe twice in total. I really miss that feeling of fresh mind.

originally posted by: nightbringr
You only have to look in the mirror.

Maybe it's because I'm in my mid 40s that i don't have the compulsive need to constantly check my phone i constantly notice in others, i don't know. I consider it sooooooooo rude to be asked out for dinner, or other social gatherings only to have my company spend ridiculous amounts of time texting or checking Facebook.

At the end of the day though, no one controls you, or your actions other than yourself. Put the phone down, the world won't stop because of it.

I'm not bothered about the bloody phone, I don't even answer to calls or messages from anyone when i'm meeting with others.

I just see this trend and it makes me sick. I only have a phone cause it's my work tool but I hope to replace it one day. Already started working towards it.

I was too engaged with social media prior to this year. But as the election antics unfolded and I found myself getting angry at my friends and families political posts, I first started unfollowing (staying friends but no longer seeing their posts) and then pretty much just stopped looking at social media other than perhaps once every few days when I was bored.

I think it is much healthier to experience your own life and not get bombarded daily with everyone elses life and thoughts. This will now be the new norm for me. It's sad how I can look around while waiting at any stop light and see over 50% of the people looking at their phones.

a reply to: Shuye

It always comes back to balance.
We are much more connected to each other as a world with the internet, before it was hard to talk conspiracies with your friends now I can jump in here and talk to my hearts content.
My friends now come to me when they want to discuss conspiracies because they are now more aware as a result of the internet.

It's a great tool but that's what it is.
I've sat in the company with good friends and not said a word and been comfortable in that space with them.
I find people are generally uncomfortable in silence with others, so the phone is a way to take the mind away from the silence.

That is the problem IMO.

a reply to: mclarenmp4

Yes these are the good and bad sides, but overall... Which is better and which is worse?

Maybe it's a non-dual thing, and it grows better and worse exponentially.

Just in case anyone's wondering, I mentioned smartphones just as another symptom. This applies to laptops and any other media or technology tool we use to communicate with. Even modern GPS tools, remember we used to lower the window to ask for directions? Yup, not needed anymore!

We rely more on online services than real people.

Even shopping we manage to do it online and we don't need human interaction. You don't need to face a cashier anymore if you don't want to because it's already made automated.

The bigger issue is that our lives are turning online to machines and robots and it makes an impact on all of us whether we like it or not. It disconnects us from each other rather than connects, to a point where we eventually either not interested in human communication, or fear it, or just don't need it.

a reply to: Shuye

Technology, social media and the internet has the potential to shape interpersonal relationships, or lack there of in unprecedented ways.

I have a retail shop across from a grade school and my office window faces the playground. I see little kids retrieve their phones [they can't have them in class] and spend their recess time on social media; Not playing, not socializing, sitting on the playground equipment, staring at their cell phones.

I fear that we're heading in a very bad direction, I would actually be surprised if people will say that their relationships have gotten closer. And that is just the beginning, and to be honest I say it very rarely but i'm scared. Scared for humanity and for what's to come.

AS a halfassed futurist; I see control of media content the ultimate destination for the world. Constant propaganda and manipulation into a surreal dystopian future of mind control, implants and addiction. The Orwellian world will look tame by comparison. Marshall McCluhan was a prophet.

www.marshallmcluhan.com...

At the gym....the exercise machines have special places for your mobile devises so you can stay in contact.

And I must cop to my own hypocrisy as I sit here on my laptop, TV on cnn, Rush on the AM radio, cell phone and tablet on the charger....And my plan B alter ego career as a filmmaker, actor, and crew with the very platforms we are complaining about....WTF?

a reply to: olaru12

Yes! You see what i'm seeing! Arguably enough we sit here with our laptops and can agree upon this, but the thing that really scares me the most is how super fast this world is turning into something that even Orwell couldn't dream of in his darkest nightmares!

We haven't seen nothing yet, we are just talking about the minor symptoms of a largely deadly dis-ease that is going to hit us. And we cannot stop it, we cannot just not use our laptops and technology because we try to benefit from it mindfully.

Sorry to hear about those kids at grade school. It's unbelievably sad and it just shows how fast this world is currently shifting.

I don´t use "social" media, no whatsapp and stuff, because for me, it makes no sense.
Because i just can call and talk with people, don´t have to read and write messages. Why should i read and write when talking is much more comfortable and faster?

Funny thing is, 99% of my friends and colleagues, including me, nobody is sitting together and just staring at useless messages, cat pics or food photos, reading Twitter SMS or facebook crap. We talk with each other, we look even at each other while talking. Some years ago that was kind of showing respect to the interlocutors, some might remember...

99% of the people i know use their phones as phones, even if it are smartphones. Those spying devices are the whole time in their pockets, when we hang out. First i thought that all has something to do with the age, but we are people from the early twenties up to the sixties. Nobody acts like a spyPhone zombie. It´s obstructive to stare on a spying device while playing football, rolling spliffs, playing frisbee, while discussing with each other, etc.

I don´t even know, as an internet junky, what i should the need the web for, the whole time and everywhere., outside of my home, away from my computer with a respectable screen and internet speed. There is nothing in this world, when i am outside, that can´t be solved without the web. Like finding back home, knowing when the next tramp goes, or whatever.

Now i guess it has something to do with intelligence. Average intelligent people talk to each other, look at each other while discussing live and direct, maybe for hours. spyPhone zombies stare at their spying devices 24/7 because they think they would lose "friends", if they don´t upvote or answer all of their "friends" useless posts and messages. Without mentioning that they are isolated, because they don´t have any real friends, when they only stare at their spying devices and waste their lifetime doing so. Not so intelligent...

Sure, i maybe miss if a facebook "friend" posts pics of his meal, a "funny" animals pic, but therefore i don´t feel alone or surrounded by isolated spyPhone addicts, when i meet with average intelligent people.

Online communication strips everything you would normally get by actually interacting with a person. Body language, pheromones, negative and positive facial responses, emotions.

It also allows a person to think about, and retype comments and statements a number of times before posting them. Adding a certain level of "safety" to what we say. (For those that think about what they are saying).

It really is a shame, because the energy that is exchanged in person is addictive, especially when you engage a person who can engage in the same fashion with you.

Online/digital communication is an okay thing for some things, but should be a tool in a larger basket of communication methods, and not the fore-most method.

a reply to: Shuye

It's like the internet was a force to bring people from everywhere together. Yeah, it was troll heaven since Day 1 and a lot of fun too. It seems like social media has slowly become more of a dividing force with so many picking camps and going online to argue and fight. Then there are all those who've exchanged hanging out with people for joining online crusades and culture battles. Youngsters who never go out because Xbox is more fun than hanging on the streets and parks with mates.

Superficial is the new currency BUT it's only there if we entertain it, right?

I'd write more if a couple of messages hadn't just beeped on my phone lol

a reply to: Shuye

Great thread! s&f

We haven't seen nothing yet, we are just talking about the minor symptoms of a largely deadly dis-ease that is going to hit us. And we cannot stop it, we cannot just not use our laptops and technology because we try to benefit from it mindfully. Sorry to hear about those kids at grade school. It's unbelievably sad and it just shows how fast this world is currently shifting.

and to think how fast technology has gone from having to put coins in a payphone to being able to talk, send video, documents, and other data world wide in less than 50 years, my God that's astonishing.

The future can be a paradise of luxury or revert back to the stone age in a matter of seconds, should an EVP or other catastrophe, wipe out the satellite grid. What a world!!!

a reply to: Shuye

I think people are just too neurotic and more so today but the technology isn't to blame.

Take my friend J, good friend, social guy but if you don't have anything to occupy his mind, he's on his phone constantly.
His GF is the same, her favourite saying is "I'm bored", if she doesn't have her mind occupied she's bored.

People are just too neurotic and technology gives them an outlet. Again blame society not the technology.

Maybe because I'm over 40 I also refuse to be swept by this "always connected" craze.
I use my cellphone only as a cellphone and for all the internet related needs I use my computer, at home, in my free time.
I don't use the cellphone when I'm meeting people, not in the middle of a conversation, not when I'm waiting in line at the supermarket so everyone around can hear and share my problems. I don't answer my phone when I'm eating, or working or after a specific hour in the evening. Whatever it is can wait a bit longer, I refuse to let my life ruled by a stupid -or smart- gadget.

People all behave like they are very needed persons and if they would miss one call or message the world will go down in flames. There just isn't any period of time in their life where they are free from outside intrusion. No private place that the damn phone cannot intrude, no personal moments without an outside interference. It's got so far that whatever they do is meaningless unless they can post it out there in the open for others to see.

I like to let people know that I'm not available 24 hours a day and that's a very strange thing for some of them. Being connected and in conversation all the time is a measure of popularity and ultimately of self importance. Their own personal reality show. Too bad is just an illusion which in fact keeps their relationship shallow and unsatisfactory.

a reply to: Shuye

How many of you felt more alone this year?

I forgot to answer your original question....

No! I am in constant personal interaction with other people in business and Media creation is teamwork with so many people in person and via www devises.

a reply to: Shuye

I don't look at it that way at all, doing all these things online allows us more to time to be with family and friends.
The high street won't completely disappear, people will always have a need to buy things locally, it's just that the types of shops will change.
Imagine a world where all jobs were done by robots, do you think we would all just sit at home in our houses like hermits and never socialise again? Nah we would pursue things that we want to pursue, if anything people would be under less stress as we would have all needs provided for.

To the question in the title.
My answer would be no I don't feel more alone this year, in fact, I haven't felt more connected to others in the last 20 years than this year.
I had anxiety for 20 years and finally cured myself which has allowed me to be more at ease with people.

This year I started drinking a lot and then making fun of everyone on text or facebook, and not being nice to anyone, and now I am very lonely.