Presidential Candidate Average Joe Job Interview

Employer: Can I see your college grades?
PC: Sorry, that record is sealed at the university.

Employer: Ok, what about your birth certificate?
PC: Yeah...but going to take me about a year to get it.

Employer: Do you work well with others?
PC: Depends. I get along with about half the country. Rest of them are deplorable.

Employer: Have you been convicted of a crime or under any investigations.
PC: No, not convicted. FBI is investigating me right now but I'm innocent.

Employer: Do you have any referrals from other employers or associates?
PC: Yes, my last boss said I was careless. An associate said I was extremely careless.

Employer: Do you have a job right now.
PC: Yes. I run a foundation. My last employer let me run it on the side while I was at work.

Employer: Ok then...I appreciate you coming in today but I believe we are looking for someone with everything you do not have.