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Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States

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posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:28 PM
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I know this is satire, but I placed it here to talk about how silly this election has gotten and to entertain the thought of being a British subject again. Everyone needs a break from the craziness now and then.

Enjoy.


Borowitz © - London UK - In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America. Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”

“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.

The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”

Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you'd rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”

Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “only very occasionally.”


suckersonparade.blogspot.com...




posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:31 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

I could kinda/sorta/almost welcome the idea if it weren't for the ears on that kid of hers. That creepy limey b@stard.

(...continuing the satire, of course).



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:33 PM
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a reply to: eluryh22

I'm really not a big coffee drinker, so I could adapt. Plus I like the series, "Sherlock". So there is an upside.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:34 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Satire or not America would be far better off using the Westminster system of government .



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:34 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

I like dry, boring English stuff too. I'm LOVING "The Fall" on Netflix.

Plus.... Benny Hill FTW!



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:35 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

You know, in an election where the two main choices are Trump or Clinton pulling the lever for 'Evil Reptilian Queen' does not sound so bad.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:35 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy
If you look in the Jokes forum, Raggedyman beat you to it.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:37 PM
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originally posted by: eluryh22
I like dry, boring English stuff too.


Same. TheKnightofDoom is my favorite dry, boring English person.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:38 PM
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originally posted by: DISRAELI
a reply to: DBCowboy
If you look in the Jokes forum, Raggedyman beat you to it.



I'm poking fun at the American system using a satirical piece. I thought this might be an appropriate place to put it, but if not. . . . oh well.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:39 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

No Thanks .

Signed Patrick Henry's Ghost .



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:47 PM
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I can imagine Liz going around rural USA to get votes rather like Hilter in England.

www.youtube.com...



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:50 PM
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Not sure what it would be called. USentrance or something. I'm fine with it. They might spend 10% of what Obama spends on vacations alone and get this: The English monarch is self supportive. No burden on taxpayers. All the income is drawn from tourism of the palace. And people with no clue like Obama and Hillary on economics and military have no voice. Just dignitary fluff. Go tour inner cities in Chicago, go tour Detroit. Have a ball.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:50 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

This would be hilarious until the British "biscuits" made it to the south. I know many gun owners down here who have gone through alot, but bless their little hearts that would be the last straw Haha.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:53 PM
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The queen doesn't even rule Britain anymore.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 07:58 PM
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Only if British rule means I get one of those bitching British accents. Immediately. Over night. Out of towers say our New Orleans accent makes us sound like we're from Brooklyn with a southern drawl. Make it so and I'll right it in.
edit on 1-11-2016 by StolidPanda because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 08:00 PM
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....Can we wear swords ?
I got a BUDDY who wants that...
edit on 1-11-2016 by cavtrooper7 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 08:01 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Queenie isn't so bad, she is a bit stuck up and that. But she didn't moan when we took her boat off her, so that is a good thing.

Can't say the same for her husband though, complete maniac. Don't let him speak to anybody important, ever. I think the only people in this world he hasn't offended yet are dead.




posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 08:03 PM
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originally posted by: cavtrooper7
....Can we wear swords ?
I got a BUDDY who wants that...


Swords would be great.

And I'm good with fish and chips.

I'd have to draw the line at blood pudding though. I'm more of a tapioca type.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 08:05 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: cavtrooper7
....Can we wear swords ?
I got a BUDDY who wants that...


Swords would be great.

And I'm good with fish and chips.

I'd have to draw the line at blood pudding though. I'm more of a tapioca type.


Ohh... will we get the Queens Guard too? I want people with the black hats. Poor guys are only allowed to march like ten paces once an hour, but yea we need that too.



posted on Nov, 1 2016 @ 08:07 PM
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a reply to: StolidPanda

We could get rid of congress and bring in our own Parliament.



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