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What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
S&M is about deriving sexual pleasure from pain, where the Sadist inflicts pain upon the Masochist (what I would consider ‘sensation play’, the sensation being pain), while B&D is play that involves physical or psychological restraints or punishment. D/s refers to psychological power-play, where the Dominant partner controls or has power over the submissive. People can assume the Dom/sub roles during other types of play, but they can also be reversed, for instance the Sadist acting on the Masochist’s instruction, who in that instance would be considered the Dom. A ‘Switch’ is someone who changes roles depending on the situation/partner(s). All three can involve role play, costumes and props to varying degrees, or none at all.
Modern societies are largely founded on the seductive idea that valuing obedience over disobedience will bring personal success and social cohesion. We are taught from an early age that even minor disobedience will sharply increase the likelihood of scary prospects like personal failure and social chaos. These emotionally powerful messages are drilled into us at home and at school, cultivating the necessary habits for powerful interests to function effectively, from parents and teachers to state institutions and large multinational corporations.
When it comes to the nature of obedience-disobedience, there is nothing we could accurately call normal. While obedience can be a particularly strong habit to break, humans (in contrast to other primates with more hard-wired social behavioral programming) are born neither obedient nor disobedient. We have strong tendencies to engage in both types of behavior across cultures and generations, in rational and irrational ways. Whether to obey or disobey in any given situation is a personal choice. Human social reality is extremely variable and complex. As long as we remain social creatures, we must deal with the obedience-disobedience question. www.truth-out.org... -consumer-society
Between Nationalism and Patriotism | Difference Between
Nationalism and patriotism both show the relationship of an individual towards his or her nation. The two are often confused and frequently believed to mean the same thing. However, there is a vast difference between nationalism and patriotism. Nationalism means to give more importance to unity by way of a cultural background, including language and heritage. Patriotism pertains to the love for a nation, with more emphasis on values and beliefs.
The Role of Obedience in Society
Obedience is a part of the foundation of society. Without obedience, naught would exist but chaos and anarchy. Without stability, productivity and the well-being of the citizens become non-existent. Because of this, one must question how obedient society can be without losing its individuality, for a society with no individuality does not consist of people but of mindless drones, unthinkingly carrying out orders for the hive’s queen. Experiments conducted by Asch, Milgram, and Zimbardo show human individuality is often subverted by the blind obedience humans feel towards those in a position of power. In order for human beings to maintain their individuality and a stable society, a balance between obedience and insubordination must be found.
Consensual Sadomasochism May Actually Lead To Altered States Of Consciousness
Sadomasochism, or sexual enjoyment from giving or receiving pain, may be a meditative experience and in some cases may lead to an altered state of consciousness, new research suggests.
Consensual sadomasochism was long considered pathological, but psychologists studying people interested in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) have failed to find evidence that these sexual practices are harmful. One study, published in May 2013, actually found that practitioners of BDSM were better off than the general population in some ways, including having secure relationships and lower anxiety. Currently, the psychiatrists’ definitive handbook, the DSM-5, lists BDSM as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation, but only classifies it as a disorder if it causes harm.
If sadomasochism is not a pathology as once believed, the question is why some people engage in these painful sexual behaviors, said James Ambler, a graduate student in psychology at Northern Illinois University.
The important element is that BDSM reflects many of the theories which social psychologists study every day. Both the Milgram experiment and BDSM teach us about obedience. Both the Stanford Prison experiment and BDSM teach us about the power of the situation, and how our attitudes are shaped by the roles we inhabit. Both social psychologists and BDSM practitioners are familiar with the concept of the self, our ideal selves and who we believe we ought to be and how incongruity between them can cause tension and depression. In all social interaction there is more at play than people believe from casual observation; while BDSM might appear to be entirely sexual fetish it is an excellent reflection of society and the power dynamics within.
Within BDSM play submissives often report that they feel a liberation in “just following orders”, in surrendering to an authority figure (Brame, Brame & Jacobs, 1993, p. 208). There is a sense of “inevitability” which accompanies surrender, and this can manifest itself through bondage (where the submissive is restrained and helpless to resist) and D/s scenarios (where the submissive directly carries out orders from the dominant). This desire to submit is not due to low self-esteem, or a lack of self worth. In fact, many submissives report that outside of a BDSM context, they are assertive and even competitive with others. Bondage has been found to be popular among people who normally resist authority, as they derive satisfaction (and possibly relaxation) from knowing that their fate and actions are in the hands of a dominant party. The submissive often finds the freedom to do something which normally they would not be able to, BDSM is taboo and cognitive dissonance is a factor when (for example) a normally assertive man finds themselves wishing to submit to a woman.
For many reasons, submitting to authority is extremely attractive. It takes the pressure off. We don’t have to think for ourselves. If any problems arise we don’t have to worry about deciding what to do. We can just do what the leader says and be confident that answer is the final truth.
This innate craving for authority is rooted deeply in the human psyche. In Freud’s philosophy, the mind is divided into three segments. The id is our primitive childish side. It causes our spontaneous desires for sex, food, and laziness. When you get an urge to quit working, take a nap, eat junk food, or look at pictures of scantily clad members of the opposite sex, that’s the id at work. The superego is the opposite of the id. When you feel compelled by success and ambition, the superego is exerting its influence. The ego is the moderator between the id and superego. It tries to balance the two and is perpetually torn between extremes. Authority forms a bridge between the superego and the id, allowing the ego take a vacation. When you submit to authority, the superego is happy because it believes you are doing the right thing, the id is happy because your childish craving for a father is satisfied, and the ego is thrilled because for once there is peace. www.pickthebrain.com...
A Sense of Powerlessness Fosters System Justification: Implications for the Legitimation of Authority, Hierarchy, and Government
In an attempt to explain the stability of hierarchy, we focus on the perspective of the powerless and how a subjective sense of dependence leads them to imbue the system and its authorities with legitimacy. In Study 1, we found in a nationally representative sample of U.S. employees that financial dependence on one’s job was positively associated with the perceived legitimacy of one’s supervisor. In Study 2, we observed that a general sense of powerlessness was positively correlated with the perceived legitimacy of the economic system. In Studies 3 and 4, priming experimental participants with feelings of powerlessness increased their justification of the social system, even when they were presented with system-challenging explanations for race, class, and gender disparities. In Study 5, we demonstrated that the experience of powerlessness increased legitimation of governmental authorities (relative to baseline conditions). The processes we identify are likely to perpetuate inequality insofar as the powerless justify rather than strive to change the hierarchical structures that disadvantage them.
Human life seemed to stop having any meaning for him and he saw and used people as objects for his own amusement and nothing more. The senatorial class suffered most from his insanity. He set up and tore down consuls without consulting them. He flagrantly raped their daughters and sons and would likewise take their own wives for himself while at public parties. After having his fill of the woman in question he would return to the party and tell her husband and the other guests how she had performed in bed. madmonarchist.blogspot.com...
The authoritarian personality describes a type of person who prefers a social system with a strong ruler— the authoritarian person is comfortable being the strong ruler but if the individual is not the strong ruler then he or she will demonstrate complete obedience to another strong authority figure. In both cases, there is little tolerance toward nonconservative ways of thinking. People whose personalities are structured in the manner of an authoritarian personality tend to conform to authority and believe that complete obedience to rules and regulations is completely necessary; any deviation from rules is to be treated harshly. The authoritarian personality often results in people harboring antagonistic feelings towards minority groups, whether religious, ethnic, or otherwise. psychology.iresearchnet.com...
Another finding in Milgram’s experiment (which has been found in additional research including Navarick’s) was that over time, a subject will become increasingly respondent to orders. Navarick (2009) found that the longer the experiment continued, the less likely a participant was to leave. With the most participants leaving at the tenth intensity level (the one where the ‘student’ demanded to be let free) before dropping off dramatically, even when the ‘student’ again makes a plea to stop at the twentieth level (p. 167). There is a level of habituation which occurs, as well as a “process of self-justification wherein each repetition of the act added to the psychological cost that would be incurred by quitting and acknowledging that the previous obedience was an error in judgement.” (p. 166). This repetition and habituation is seen in BDSM , often when a submissive is first introduced to the authority of a dominant. In one example, the dominant instructs the submissive to refer to her as “Mistress” and is to begin and end every sentence as such. resonancefrequency.net...
Zimbardo (1973) was interested in finding out whether the brutality reported among guards in American prisons was due to the sadistic personalities of the guards (i.e. dispositional) or had more to do with the prison environment (i.e. situational). For example, prisoner and guards may have personalities which make conflict inevitable, with prisoners lacking respect for law and order and guards being domineering and aggressive. Alternatively, prisoners and guards may behave in a hostile manner due to the rigid power structure of the social environment in prisons. If the prisoners and guards behaved in a non-aggressive manner this would support the dispositional hypothesis, or if they behave the same way as people do in real prisons this would support the situational explanation.
Findings: Within a very short time both guards and prisoners were settling into their new roles, with the guards adopting theirs quickly and easily. Within hours of beginning the experiment some guards began to harass prisoners. They behaved in a brutal and sadistic manner, apparently enjoying it. Other guards joined in, and other prisoners were also tormented.
www.policeone.com...]The psychological influence of the police uniform
The crisp uniform of the police officer conveys power and authority. When a police officer puts on his or her uniform the officer is perceived in a very different way by the public. He or she is viewed as embodying each person''s stereotypes about all police officers. Research has suggested that clothing has a powerful impact on bow people are perceived, and this goes for the police officer as well. The uniform of a police officer has been found to have a profound psychological impact on those who view it. Research has also suggested that even slight alterations to the style of the uniform will change how citizens will perceive the officer.
The uniform worn by a police officer also elicits stereotypes about that human being's status, authority, attitudes, and motivations, The police uniform serves to identify a person as one vested with the powers of the state to arrest and use force. The uniform also serves to establish order and conformity within the ranks of those who wear it by suppressing individuality. The psychological and physical impact of the police uniform should not be underestimated. Depending on the background of the citizen, the police uniform can elicit emotions ranging from pride and respect, to fear and anger.
"Bread and circuses" (or bread and games; from Latin: panem et circenses) is metonymic for a superficial means of appeasement. In the case of politics, the phrase is used to describe the generation of public approval, not through exemplary or excellent public service or public policy, but through diversion; distraction; or the mere satisfaction of the immediate, shallow requirements of a populace, as an offered "palliative". Its originator, Juvenal, used the phrase to decry the selfishness of common people and their neglect of wider concerns. The phrase also implies the erosion or ignorance of civic duty amongst the concerns of the commoner.
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Being a dominatrix is much like being a journalist. In both professions, you have to be a good listener. You have to get people's names right. Journalists are supposed to tell the truth. A dominatrix tells the story her client would like to hear. I wouldn't be able to make the comparison if I hadn't worked in both worlds. www.theguardian.com...
Modern Music: Promoting pedophilia to adults and sexual debauchery to children
With the unlikely aim of "motivating mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams", Miley succeeds merely in glamorising and openly promoting pathologically, hyper-sexualised ideals such as excessive promiscuity, bisexuality, the public use of sexual paraphernalia and explicit drug misuse. Basically, this is pedophilic sexual debauchery presented to us in the form of a mentally-disturbed 22 year old girl with the emotional maturity of the average politician. It's not surprising then that the bulk of her target audience is between the ages of 6-14 year olds. In the name of "feminism" and "freedom", it is possible that Miley truly believes that parading her infectious filth across the world for young, vulnerable minds to absorb is acting in favour of the "greater good" and standing up for women's rights to express their sexuality. But what Miley believes is irrelevant. What she achieves is to support the goal of our pathocratic system to produce as many intellectually and emotionally-stunted adolecents as possible, to fill the ranks of the up and coming political class.
It is not surprising that Miley is one of the "Disney Kids" that have exploded onto the music scene in recent decades. Does anyone remember what happened to Britney Spears? It's gut wrenching to imagine the trauma and suffering that these 'just turned' superstars were probably made to endure as young children at the hands of the Hollywood music industry's predatory pedophile networks. Yes, that's right. Pedophilia is apparently not only rife in political inner circles, but the music and film industries are also badly infected with it. This is not so difficult to believe when you understand that psychopaths usually manage to work their way up to the top of any given sector, and seem to congregate with others who have similar 'predilections'.
ABC Obsessed with Alternative Sexual Lifestyles
Youngsters' curiosity about sex used to be sated by late night, soft-core flicks on premium cable channels. Now, they simply have to tune into ABC. ABC news programs have featured 76 segments about sexual activity in the last six months. The majority of these reports were related to political sex scandals or crime cases that contained a sexual element, but 11 promoted alternative sexual arrangements such as men who become women, Web sites dedicated to helping married people cheat on their spouses and even people who carry on romantic relationships with objects like F-15 fighter jets and the Eiffel Tower.
A person claiming to be the alleged gunman in the Virginia attack sent a 23-page fax to ABC News after the shooting, claiming to be influenced by Seung-Hui Cho, the killer in the Virginia Tech shooting of 2007. "He got NEARLY double the amount that Eric Harris and Dylann [sic] Klebold [the Columbine shooters] got," the writer of the fax added, according to ABC News. The fax also claimed that the shooting was in response to the mass killing at a Charleston church in June. www.livescience.com...
It's been nearly 20 years since the Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky scandal made "oral sex" a household term; young kids went from skipping that phase of sex altogether to offering it or receiving it even before a first kiss on the lips. According to The New York Times, "Oral sex is very much part of the teenage sexual repertory. More than half of all teenagers aged 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex - including nearly a quarter of those who have never had intercourse." www.drlaura.com...
Caligula was also quick to put the vast treasury left by Tiberius to good use in winning greater popularity for himself. He gave the Praetorian Guard a hefty bonus, distributed money to the common people and declared a general amnesty to free all of those imprisoned by the paranoia of Tiberius. Celebrations were held constantly with hundreds of thousands of animals sacrificed in thanksgiving of the accession of the young Caesar the people called their star and their baby. ...He did his best to appear as the ideal ruler, giving generously to those who had been taxed into poverty, expelling sexual criminals, setting aside the air of fear and paranoia that had preceded him and trying to maintain a closeness with the people through imperial pageantry and ceremony. Free elections were revived to give the people more say in government and gladiatorial games were held regularly to keep them entertained. In short, he did everything that a good Roman emperor was expected to do in order to be popular with the people. madmonarchist.blogspot.com...
When I was in high school I asked myself at one point: "Why do I care if my high school's team wins the football game? I don't know anybody on the team, they have nothing to do with me... why am I here and applaud? It does not make any sense. But the point is, it does make sense: It's a way of building up irrational attitudes of submission to authority and group cohesion behind leadership elements. In fact it's training in irrational jingoism. That's also a feature of competitive sports.
If such an art of active mass influence through propaganda is joined with the long-term systematic education of a nation, and if both are conducted in a unified and precise way, the relationship between the leadership and the nation will always remain close. From authority and following, that type of modern democracy will develop for which Germany is the model for the entire world in the twentieth century. -Joseph Goebbels
The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.
In contemporary society, the most powerful authorities are the interlocking boards of directors of major business corporations and the state apparatuses that support them. As in the Milgram paradigm, the demands made by these authorities on today's consumers and citizens are leading to increasingly grave consequences for human life, including dangers that were not foreseen when Corporate America first launched the mass consumerist experiment in the years following World War I.www.truth-out.org... us-consumer-society
If one in five children are going to the ER for treatment related to sport injuries, the question must be asked (Healy 2013). Are we pushing our youngest athletes too far? sportsandsocietylc.wordpress.com...
An independent can’t be President; here’s the real reason why
The Democratic and Republican parties, with full malice and intent, have acted to create a rigged duopoly. Neither wants a third challenger, and both have actively colluded to prevent one from ever having a chance. The parties instinctively understand that their key to political power lies in making sure that the choice is between the lesser of two evils. One way is by making it nearly impossible for third-party candidates to compete for donations on a level playing field. Right after the 2014 midterms, the leaders of the Democratic and Republican parties in Congress met in secret and then changed the law so that individual donors giving to the two major party candidates could donate $834,000 per year in total contributions through their parties while those giving to independents were limited to just $2,700.
There are obstacles, too, at the state level. While Democratic and Republican parties are automatically put on the ballot, independents face different hurdles in all 50 states, including filing deadlines that are far too early, differing signature requirements, and other onerous regulations that make it difficult and costly to get on the ballot.
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Then, there are the obstacles placed by the Federal Election Commission (FEC), which was established in the wake of Watergate to oversee the conduct of federal campaigns. That FEC has become the most notorious, ineffective, inefficient and corrupt of all federal agencies. It is composed of three super-partisan members – often undisputable political hacks – from each of the two major parties. Because every vote is potentially a tie, each side is able to stymie any meaningful enforcement or regulation of the electoral system and to protect its side from any tough political sanctions. In most cases, the two parties collude to protect the duopoly. The chance that a challenge by an independent or third-party will be considered on the merits is about as favorable as the chance an African-American had of passing a literacy test in my native South when I was a child.
More pain, more gain
I like to find out what a man does for a living. I see a lot of Wall Street types who go for bondage and humiliation. Lawyers, actors and entertainment executives never shut up. I have to gag them right away if I'm to have any peace. True masochists are rare - they're usually police and ex-military. These men are such show-offs about how much pain they can take. I end up acting the role of a sadistic drill instructor, breaking canes and riding crops on their backs, which gives me a certain confidence in our armed forces.
My British-educated clients inevitably want some recreation of public school discipline, with caning, birch canes, wooden paddles, all of that. It's appalling that any of this was done to them as children, but I love them for it now. These sessions are so much fun. American men are terrified of caning, because it can leave welts, but I know how to do it so the marks fade within two hours.
I try to avoid certain types of sessions. Because I'm not blonde, I don't get many requests for racist role play, in which black clients want to be horribly abused by a white woman, the paler the better. Mistress and slave - plantation fantasies, they're called. Hasidic and Orthodox Jewish men sometimes request medical role play sessions in which the dominatrix portrays a white-coated Nazi doctor examining them in a death camp. Pass, fail. Life, death. I've done it once: the young man asked me beforehand to plait my hair, pin it up on my head, and speak in an English or German accent. 'Be really cold, OK? Don't even look at me.'
Sadomasochism and the Jihadi Death Cult
But what of the Western converts who join the jihadi cults? What is the draw for them? It is nearly the same. From examining their childhoods, the majority are born into what I call shame-honor Western families—highly rigid and authoritarian or lacking any parental structure at all. And then there are the numerous jailhouse converts. Many criminals have a cognitive deficit, and some show signs of clinical sadomasochism. A sadist seeks power through control, manipulation, and forcing the other to submit. Intimacy comes only with violence. They feel, they bond, through violence:
Liberals and Conservatives Both Love Following the Leader, Studies Say
Conservatives and liberals have something annoying common: They both love to follow their leaders, studies published Friday in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin claim.
It is a truism among academics that political conservatives like to be ordered around. A new study, "Political Conservatives' Affinity for Obedience to Authority is Loyal, Not Blind," published by researchers from the University of Winnipeg in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, looks more deeply at how "obedience" works among conservative and liberals. One confounding problem they discover with prior research is that when researchers simply ask people about how to respond to "authorities," research subjects typically infer "authority" means "conservative authority." reason.com...
The findings suggest that obedience itself is not ideologically divisive. Counter to the intuition that obedience itself is a mode of conduct that conservatives preferentially champion, these data suggest that liberals and conservatives have the same sentiments about obedience. Conservatives only favor obedience when they perceive the authority to be a conservative. Liberals also favor obedience when the authority shares their ideology...
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The Occupy Wall Street movement justified ignoring police and court orders on the grounds of justice, democracy, and protection of individual rights. Conservative groups such as the U.S. Tea Party and the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood too have challenged authorities. Both liberals and conservatives have the moral psychology for flaunting the orders of authorities. Preference for obedience is contextually bound; both liberals and conservatives call for rebellion when the authorities are from the “other team.” www.jeremyfrimer.com...
The response of “Yes, Mistress” steadily came easier and the psychological effect of being a maid to a wealthy woman became stronger as the role-playing progressed. Aided by symbols such as the whip, collar and uniform, there was a very real sense of helplessness instilled in the mind of the submissive when in reality the dominant had no real power over her. There was also a restriction on what the submissive felt she could do and how she could speak because she did not wish to step outside of the bounds of her role. In general her speech became more brief and yielding, and this was not only because she had been told to do so, but because to challenge the dominant was something a maid is not supposed to do. Happening regardless of the fact that the submissive was not actually a maid and that the dominant was not actually a wealthy noblewoman. The power of roles and role-playing is at work within BDSM, and the Stanford prison experiment shows how the roles we take do influence our attitudes and behavior (to the point where the experiment came to resemble a BDSM scene itself). resonancefrequency.net...
Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape
The second possible definition of consensual rape is “built into” a Master/slave relationship. This case may be such that the slave is not particularly excited about a sexual activity at that given time, but the Master is able to force His will upon the girl, by the nature of their relationship. This is consensual from the standpoint that the slave would have agreed to the terms of the relationship at the beginning of negotiations. It would be my hope that this scenario would have been discussed and clearly stated where each party stands on this issue before the relationship would continue in a M/s fashion. For Master and myself, I have agreed and signed a contract stating that my body is available for His use at any time. He owns my body, and therefore does not need my permission to utilize that which He owns. However, by the definition of rape, if one party has not given consent to the act, it is rape. I may not be in the mood. I may cry and beg and scream for Him to not use me. However, it is His decision to do so or not. My consent was given when I signed our contract, no matter my feelings at any given point in time.
Is S&M going mainstream?
It looks that way. Twenty to 30 years ago, surveys suggested 10 to 15 percent of Americans had tried it at least once. Five to 10 percent had engaged occasionally in BDSM—an umbrella term for bondage, dominance/submission, and sadomasochism. Fewer embrace it as a lifestyle or identity: Even in big cities, attendance at BDSM conventions is said to be only 1,500 to 2,000. But in the last year, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy has sold more than 65 million copies. The membership of FetLife, a social networking site for BDSM enthusiasts, has doubled to nearly 2 million. Sales of books and equipment have increased. So has attendance at BDSM events. BDSM-related Internet searches (domination, master, sex slave, sadism) went up 70 to 80 percent. College groups devoted to “kink,” largely BDSM, gained official recognition at Tufts and Harvard. Pillars of the media establishment—ABC, Fox News, the New York Times—are exploring the rise of kink in unflinching detail.
Political advocates for BDSM see themselves as successors to the gay rights movement. They cite Lawrence v. Texas. They call themselves “sexual minorities” and depict kink as a “sexual orientation.” They seek “legitimacy” by bringing BDSM “into the mainstream eye.” They ask to be “accepted,” “validated,” and “normalized.” They wonder, according to the Times, whether “they are approaching a time when they, like the LGBT community before them, can come out and begin living more open, integrated lives.”
originally posted by: 123143
Has the OP considered getting some kind of professional help?
May I gently recommend it?